Gratitude / Capt buys?
 

Sooooo close! Could’ve held it in BOS though. So at least now I can regale my poor FOs with tales of how I can hold wide body captan genius but just don’t want to.:D

"I don't do walk arounds, but the first non-alcoholic beverage is on me!"

I've been saying that since I could hold ER captain :D

Ugh ...

I feel if you are one of the very few who have made it in this industry without a love of intoxicating spirits, you should pay it forward to a poor, compromised FO!

Put this in the FOM, please. 😂

I would never dare compromise a poor FO's judgment with firewater or devil juice. They must be of sound body, mind, and spirit(s), to be on my crew. After all, I can hold real widebody captain genius. Every leg is a mission from Ed.

Now turn off your phone, put on your headset, and run the preflight checklist.

🫡 🫡 🫡 🫡 Yes sir!

and don’t let me wake up and catch you sleeping.

close your eyes. Everyrhing you see is yours

Open your eyes. Everything you see is mine.

Good breif

I prefer it when guys like this self identify as early as possible.

MEL w/ repetitive check for SARCASM DETECTOR INOP OR NOT INSTALLED.

Not installed. Tech ops has him in early nexy year for the install.

lol. Fillllller

There’s no such thing as that anymore. First year FO’s making 6 figures. I find it a bit odd when I’m out with a 3rd year FO who’s pulling down $300k and I’m buying their drinks:) And I don’t drink!

Nah it's a good tradition. I always pay for FOs drinks and probies food as well. All my captains did it for me and I appreciated it, so gotta keep the tradition alive.

If you're an FO, I'm paying. I had so many great CAs who paid when least expected, I vowed to not be "that guy".

Should be simple-

the green, silver, or quickslip pays

or the OOBWS because they are just lucky to be there

Why is that odd? Especially when Captains are making $500k+ pretty easily. $700k+ if a Captain has maximum schedule flexibility

And as many others have said, pay it forward. When an FO tries to resist I say it's not my money, it's the Captains' who paid for my drinks/meals money that I'm passing along

At 300K, I'll make a donation to the local food bank in their name. I'm also saving for an exosuit to assist them with their walk arounds.

One thing I’ve learned personally as I’ve matured is that a part of being well-rounded emotionally is having the capacity to accept the generosity of others, even when I am not in any form of need. Many times the person being generous (in this case, by buying dinner) gets more satisfaction and enjoyment than the person receiving the generosity. Pushing back against someone trying to be generous robs them of some level of happiness brought by being generous. So in any normal situation I’ve learned to just graciously accept when someone wants to do a kind gesture for me, again even when I am not in any sort of want or need. Obviously there are limits, like I’m not going to let someone ruin their own financial life for my sake, but that’s not what anyone here is talking about.

This is something more people should understand

Tennis guru. Reserve guru. Life guru.

Well said. Great perspective.

Jim? Is that you? I flew freight with a guy about a million years ago that briefed all his FO's just like that. Some he was kidding with, some he was not...

This.

filler

I'm going to disagree. While I think it's fair and reasonable to insist on buying beverages and, on special occasions (GS or birthdays or probies) meals, I want to pay for my own stuff. It's certainly a kind gesture but, for me, an unwanted one. I believe in a co-equal partnership with the person I'm flying with. If you buy me beers at night, I want to buy you coffee in the morning. I've had several Captains resoundly reject letting me pay for coffee, even on a single occasion. I'm glad some guys really like to, but please, be mature enough to accept that I prefer to split the check.

It sounds to me like you do agree. You have the emotional maturity to appreciate when someone wants to pay for you sometimes, but you also want to return the favor and don't like it when that isn't appreciated in return. I totally get that.

That's not a you problem, that's a problem with the other guy in this unrequited hypothetical.

Someone who insists on paying for you but won’t let you return the favor is more interested in control than the relationship.

This is kind of what I'm getting at. Thank you for saying it more succinctly. It's why I'm way more comfortable when the song and dance isn't played at all. Or if it is, it's very limited (i.e., let me buy you a drink)

One of my favorite books is called "The Go-Giver". There is an entire chapter dedicated to this concept. Receive graciously.

Imagine thinking that your coworker who’s trying to buy you a beverage or some crappy layover dinner is trying to control you… what a bizarre way to think, then again I forget from time to time I’m a Delta pilot.

are we talking about dating here?

Imagine getting put off that someone doesn't want you to buy them drinks or meals and/or refusing to let someone return the favor if the original offer was accepted.

Soft, but respectful, disagree here. It’s not a co-equal partnership. Sorry, it’s just not. Especially with the more historic slope of upgrades.

I’m not going to refuse your return gesture, though I will put up a tacit defense at least once. 😉. Just like my kids occasionally wanting to pick up dinner. I appreciate they are trying to demonstrate their ability to ‘adult’. But it’s not equal. I won’t allow a 50/50 split over time when my ability to pay is so much greater. But I fully agree it would be rude for them not to be allowed to sometimes. Maybe that will change someday, when I’m old and they are changing my diaper… 😂

Holy crap, the things people worry about. I just learned that there is a group of people that think it's disrespectful to ask "so what do you do" (for work), in conversation when meeting someone new. I just see it as a nice conversation starter that usually leads to family, hobbies, etc... All it showed me is that people get worked up over the dumbest stuff. If a Captain offers to buy, take them up on it, they're not doing it to extract anything. If the FO offers a coffee, take them up on it as well. It all works itself out in the end and it's just beyond ridiculous to worry about these things. I guess you can add this to the list of reasons I much prefer to just do turns and never overnight lol.

Post written after a good friend/squadron mate/Deltoid/APC dweller showed up to my house unannounced with a six pack that has now been downed. He's even an FO, so I guess I shouldn't have let him buy the beers we drank. :D

Sometimes it boggles my mind the things people think about. I always insist on buying but I’ll relent if I get some firm pushback. Maybe I’m pulling some unconscious Freudian powerplay lmao.

I see it as tribute to the airline gods who saw fit to put me in a specific seat 10+ years earlier than I had envisioned when starting the career.

For the record, I'm not offended people offer to buy. I just don't want you to on most occasions. As I said, buying the occasional drink is fine. It's a nice gesture. But please don't make it awkward when I politely refuse

I would also add don’t make it awkward if the other pilot would rather do their own thing either.

I remember flying with a CA when I was new who was legitimately ****ed off after I politely declined going out for a drink on a 10 hour layover.

Oh man. I had a guy who said he wanted to go get drinks after we landed during the first leg of the trip. It was a mess of a day with hours of delays, we didn't get to the hotel until after midnight but even with a later show the next day, I was whooped. After check in, he's like, "you want to meet down here in like 10?" I'm like, dude, I'm exhausted. I think I'm just going to call it. He lifted up his phone, closed his maps app, and just said, "whatever."

Are you late to the convo? You missed an important point.