Friday night about 6 month ago in MDPC a major Airline in the final Approach!!!

N123: am going to need the local police to meet this aircraft at the gate.

TWR: what is the problem N123.

N123: We have pasenger situation out of control !!!

I don't know what happen after that I was clear for takeoff!!!

Whooo mannnn...that is some funny stuff....

Sometime last year, a student pilot with a very thick mid-eastern accent was asking JAX center for adverse weather conditions. The control asked him to say again a few times. To which the student pilot did each time. Eventually ATC was getting irritated, so he says "Nxxx I don't care about your air conditioning! What can I do for you?" Then the student pilot says "Cancel flight following for me" and went of frequency.

In EWR comming out of C2.

Ramp: Jetlink XXXX RJ, B and ground b short of Kilo and keep it tight

Jetlink XXXX: (female pilot) RJ, B ground B short of Kilo, and I'll keep it tight just for you.

Random voice: I think I'm in love.

EWR is in a ground stop and all departure corridors are shut down.

EWR ground is moving traffic around and people are asking how much longer

Jetlink 1234: How much longer for Jetlink 1234

EWR Ground: all departures are stoped we will keep you advised when we can

5 min later

Jetlink 1234: you got an update for Jetlink 1234?


EWR ground: I really need to use the bathroom. I am getting position relief right now.

ATC: "pan am 207 heavy turn right heading 220 for noise abatement..."
Pan Am 207: "uh center how much noise can we be making at 34000 feet?"
ATC: "ever heard the sound a 747 makes when it hits a 727 at 500 miles per hour?"


ATC: "american 922 traffic is one oclock 8000 feet a company fokker 100."
American 922: "ive always wanted to say this: i got the little fokker in sight"

I hope this hasn't been posted, as it's "MY" story. And a true one at that! This guy flew out of the same FBO that I did at the time.
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Years ago when the transition from Statute Miles per Hour to Nautical Miles per Hour was taking place in the aviation industry there were obviously airplanes with the "older" MPH Airspeed gauges still installed.

One such airplane was Twin Bonanza N5636D.

Seems like 36 Delta was enroute somewhere and the Center asked him for his airspeed.

36 Delta replied, "150 Miles Per Hour, Sir."

The Controller came back with, "What is that in Knots?"

36 Delta replied: "I dunno, this is a Beechcraft, not a Chris Craft, you figure it out!"

Heard departing DTW earlier today while with Cleveland Center.

Continental 1234: Uh, Cleveland Center are we still supposed to be with you?

Cleveland Center: Continental 1234, yes you are, I just have a large sector.

Continental 1234: Now thats just bragging!!!

Cleveland Center: It ain't bragging if it's true!!

Ok Im in work now and I am belly laughing so much from that Lufthansa joke and the missing passenger/ oven. :D

At LGA...
Comair: Twr, you got a live fish on the taxiway.... Only in new york where to expect the unexpected!