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Outrageous Hotel Behavior

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Outrageous Hotel Behavior

Old 06-02-2009, 06:51 PM
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Default Outrageous Hotel Behavior

I was just reading this article and it got me thinking.

First, I was in Berlin and walking by the Hotel Adlon Kempinski when Michael Jackson dangled his son out the window.

Second, probably the most outrageous thing I ever did in a hotel was wait in the lobby for an old APC member for dinner! What was I thinking?
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Old 06-03-2009, 08:51 AM
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SKW is supposedly getting booted out of a high-end hotel due to the behavior of drunk flight crews...

An FO went fishing in a Koi pond with his bare hands...and caught one.

Another FO climbed a palm tree in the open foyer, and was unable to get back down due to the barb-like scales on the tree. He had to be recovered with a high-lift.

The root cause of these problems? An extended hotel-sponsored happy-hour...not limited to miller lite, but including hard liquor and vino. Probably doomed from the outset
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Old 06-03-2009, 06:15 PM
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Default Blog on Hotel Etiquette

I wrote this a while back... after a rough two week period while attending school in ICT... Thought it might be appropriate to post on here for a good laugh.

Anybody else have good hotel stories?

______________________________________________
Okay. I know that my blog is mostly my ranting and raving on various topics, so I'll try not to ***** too much, but what the hell is it about hotels that brings out the idiot in everybody?!?

Maybe it's just me, and maybe it's just the fact that I spend so many nights away in a hotel that I experience this so frequently, but seriously- there are some people that just don't get it.

Unless you're also a pilot or crewmember who gets to regularly stay in airport and highway hotels, you're probably thinking "What the hell is he talking about?", so I'll give you a couple of details...

I spent the last week out in Wichita, Kansas to complete some recurrent flight training for work. In all, it's mostly a low stress event... show up at the training center around 8am, eat some donuts, some time in ground school, take a break for lunch, then spend 5 hours in the flight simulator practicing various emergencies, like engines catching fire, wings falling off, flying into the side of a mountain... okay so maybe it's not exactly a low stress event.

Anyway, at the end of the day, I'm a bit wiped out. 10 hours of training makes for a long day. So I head back to the hotel room at the luxurious Best Western (joy) and settle in for a peaceful nights sleep.

Now perhaps it's just me, but I consider a hotel room to be a place to get a good night's rest… particularly a crappy hotel that doesn't offer a lot in the way of service or amenities. (This particular hotel happened to be a Best Western, which wouldn’t have been my first choice in lodging, but it was all that was available due to a last minute schedule change.)

But I digress. (Enter idiots, stage right.)

So there I lay in my bed at 10pm, just drifting off to sleep, when low and behold, I swear either a herd of elephants, or the remnants of the Soviet army are invading my hotel. What starts as a low rumble of noise outside my door, soon turns into a full on stampede of five to ten year olds running through the hallways screaming and playing, unchecked or unsupervised by any adults.

If there’s one thing the bothers me more than idiots in hotels, it’s parents that don’t supervise or discipline their kids. Don’t they know that in this day and age of pedophiles and wackos, they should have an eye on their kids 24/7? That’s what those stupid little kid “leashes” are for anyway. (But that’s a topic for another blog…). Despite a strong urge to run a trip wire across the hallway, I ignored the ruckus and after about 5 minutes of an all out game of hallway tag, peace settled upon the hotel once again.

Of course this isn’t the only disruption for the evening. As soon as I begin to drift off, I begin to hear the nightly symphony of door slams as the rest of the hotel guest return to their rooms. It’s interesting really, and something that I never quite came around to understanding… why will people who never slam the door at home, insist on doing it in a hotel? Really. And it's not simply allowing the door to close on it's own behind you- it's all out shove the door closed... I never hear a door just “click” shut in a hotel.

And finally it wouldn’t be a night in a hotel without some sort of screaming, or hooting, or hollering, or general disturbance in the hallways, typically around three am. (This particular night even involved the police coming out and hauling a bunch of people away, much to my tired (un)amusement…)

Now I realize that by staying in a Best Western, I opened myself up to a level of hotel “clientele” that might not quite live up to the etiquette that I would expect on the club level of a Marriott, Hilton or Hyatt. Even so, there should be at least a bit of common courtesy for your fellow guest.

To help facilitate this, I present FlyerJosh’s Top 10 List of Hotel Etiquette Rules:

Rule #1:
Understand that a hotel is typically considered a place to SLEEP. If you are attending an event at a hotel where excessive alcohol consumption and/or partying takes place (such as a wedding or birthday party), keep the partying out of the hallways. If you are going to be running through the halls, make sure you are doing so with enough alcohol to share with the rest of us. If you’re going to run through the halls naked, you’d better be that really hot redhead/blonde/brunette that’s staying down the hall from me.

Rule #2:
Hotel hallways and common areas are not places for children to roam free, playing hide and go seek, or tag. The next kid that goes running past my door is likely to get tripped or locked in a linen closet.

Rule #3:
Were you born in a ******* barn? Quit slamming the doors. Take half a second and close the door properly so the rest of us can sleep!

Rule #4:
When returning to a room at 3am, drunk off your ass, and your key doesn’t open the door- it probably means that you have the wrong room. If the door has a “Do Not Disturb” sign on it, it probably means you have the wrong room, too. This is a good opportunity to disregard the old saying if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. I’d appreciate it if you quit trying to open my door. However if you are that hot redhead/blonde/brunette from down the hall, just knock. I’d be happy to help you find your way.

Rule #5:
Alarm clocks are useful tools for waking up in the morning. So are wake up calls. However if you are too lazy to get your ass out of bed and turn them off (resulting in the rest of the hotel listening to them for ½ hour) please don’t set them. I have my own alarm clock and would prefer you not share yours.

Rule #6:
Back to the children thing: It’s not cool to let your kid push all of the buttons in the elevator. Some of us would like to actually go straight to the floor we want to be on. Not stop at every possible level along the way. It’s even worse if you stand there and watch your kid do it, and then apologetically smile at me as you get off on the second floor. I’ll be happy to discipline your kid for you if you can’t do it yourself.

Rule #7:
Sex. Yes, we all enjoy a little romp now and then. Certainly getting out of the routine and into a new setting such as a $79/night hotel room, with free HBO, can be exciting. But PLEASE, for the love of God! MOVE THE BED OFF OF THE WALL before you go at it! I’d rather not hear the incessant thump, thump, thump, of your pleasure when I can’t have any of my own. (Those lonely nights in the hotel room really suck when I know that you and that redhead/blonde/brunette are in the next room are having such a great time).

I haven’t quite figured out what rules 8, 9, and 10 are, but I leave them reserved for idiots that **** me off on hotel stays in the future…

Oh- the icing on the cake for my week in ICT? Getting a knock on the door on Thursday evening from a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses... didn't even know that they hit up hotels. But then again I guess all of those hotel bibles need to come from somewhere!

Last edited by FlyerJosh; 06-03-2009 at 06:41 PM.
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Old 06-04-2009, 05:20 AM
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Nicely done . . .
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Old 06-04-2009, 09:16 AM
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Originally Posted by FlyerJosh View Post
Oh- the icing on the cake for my week in ICT? Getting a knock on the door on Thursday evening from a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses... didn't even know that they hit up hotels. But then again I guess all of those hotel bibles need to come from somewhere!
The Gideons put them there. LDS just offer to replace your copy with a fresher one.
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Old 06-04-2009, 03:47 PM
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Arrow Rule #8

RULE NO. 8 TO ADD TO THE ONES ABOVE...

DO NOT THROW THE HOTEL'S COKE MACHINE INTO THE SWIMMING POOL..
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