are you a pilot?
He's the pilot, I'm just learning

I'm at BWI walking to the gate for an early departure with the captain and this older man with his grandson (i think) points in our direction and says, "Now the man with the 4 bars is the pilot and the kid with the 3 bars is the flight engineer."

I was in PHX terminal 4 on the Cactus international side and some lady accosted me, very rudely, asking how to get to her gate. I asked what airline and flight, and she got even ruder and irate, apparently running very late.

She was on SWA. The short way to SWA side would be to take a moving walkway to the other side of the terminal (3-5 minutes). The long way would be to walk about a mile, all the way around, exiting and then re-entering security. I just wasn't in the mood that day so I suggested the long way.

I was asked by a passenger after we landed. "Aren't you supposed to wind those rubber bands before takeoff, not after?" I was spinning the props on the Jetstream 31 as is required after landing...

Now, Hold the Plane
 

I was standing next to the ticket counter, in uniform, waiting to jumpseat to ORD. A man rushed up to the counter about 5 minutes before departure time and the following conversation took place:

Pax: "I'm on this flight and I want to upgrade to First and I want seat 3A.
Agent: "Sir, I can upgrade you but we don't have a seat 3A on this aircraft" (It was a 737-300 with two rows in First Class).
Pax: "What do you mean there isn't a 3A on this flight ? I fly this flight all the time and I always ride in 3A.
Agent: Sir, this is a 737 and there are only two rows of First Class seat. I can give you seat 1B.
Pax: "Don't lie to me. I don't want 1B, is there anyone in 3A...just tell me and don't BS about it.
Agent; "No sir. There isn't anyone in seat 3A.
Pax: Good, then quite lying about it and give me that seat.

The agent gives him a boarding pass and he turns to me and says, "Don't go anywhere Sonny. I left my car at the curb and have to go park it".

After he ran back down the concourse, the agent turned to me and said "get your bags and come on. We're out of here". We hurried down the jetway and the agent told the working Captain everyone was onboard, briefly what happened and the Captain said "close the door, we're gone".

That Gentlemen is a true story and kudos to the agent !

G'Day Mates:)

After a flight the door was open and the pax were walking out. One lady stopped and asked the FA if I was old enough to fly pointing at me (I was 24). Our FA thought she was joking and said "oh no, it's take your son to work day."

The lady said ahhhh.

She then stuck her head in the cockpit and said to me, "don't worry son, you'll fly this someday."

I just looked at her and said.... yeeahhhh someday.

Wrong answer
 

F/A relays a message from "little old lady" pax: "Tell the Captain he needs to raise the cabin pressure." :confused: I sent word back that we had checked and everything was normal. After arrival, I was saying goodbye to the deplaning pax and here came the (now angry) little old lady. She snapped: "TWA always fixes the cabin pressure for me!"

gotta love the little old ladies... that sounds like something my grandma would say... :D

i was sittin in a gate at IAD one night in the middle of one of the worst thunderstorms ive ever seen waitin to deadhead to STL. it looked like daylight out the lightning was so non stop and the rain was completely vertical. some french lady dressed in asininely elaborate clothes came up to me. once she got about 10 feet away i could tell she was ready to chew my head off. she assumed i was flying her flight up to boston to which i quickly explained i was getting a ride home to saint louis. well that didnt stop her from yelling at me for delaying her flight. then i asked her if she thinks its safe to fly right now. that didnt stop her from continuing. then i explained that the plane going to boston isnt even my airline. she kept going. then i told her i dont even know how to fly that plane. that didnt stop her. finally i mockingly said...lemme get this right...you want me to fly a plane i dont know how to fly, for an airline i dont work for, in weather that has the airport closed, to a city im not going to? her exact answer..."Yes!" dead serious.

Passenger: Are you old enough to fly this thing.

Me: Nope but my High School has a work release program so we worked it out.