Funniest things said to you while in uniform?
 

I really enjoyed the other thread about the funniest things said over the radio so I wanted tweak the question a little bit.

What are some of the funniest things that have been said to you while you were in uniform?

I bet you get paid a lot of money!

"Are you a pilot? Boy I have shoes older than you!"

"My son is a pilot, do know him"? "Can you help with these bags?" (in uniform @ ORD)

"where's my bag" (random pax in terminal says to me).
In baggage claim I say.
" they said we'd get it back plane side".
"well then it's probably on the jet bridge. You'll have to go back to your gate. " I say.

" what gate was It?" he asks me.

I have no idea, what airline were you on? I ask him.

"I don't know"

What city did you fly here from?

" I forget, it was a connection". He says.

Well then I can't help you!

My FIRST TIME EVER in ORD flying for Comair (DL has (had, this was like 2 years ago..not sure if they're still this small) 4 gates in O'Hare).

Lady passenger walks up to me.
lady: "do you know where United flight XXXX is?"
me: "well, not off the top of my head but we can go to these monitors and find out"
lady: "well you WORK here don't you?"
me: "not really, i'm just passing through, I work for a feeder for Delta based in JFK this is my first time here!"
lady: "well fine" and she turns around and storms off
me: ::laughter inside::

Walking through the parking lot at DFW, a lady comes running up to me and shouts, tell them to hold my airplane, tell them to hold my airplane I am late. Since this was before cell phones were really "portable" I grab my pager and say ok, i just sent them a message and they are holding the plane for you.

MIA - H Concourse

A business man points to a sign that says H3-H9 ^ (that's an up arrow), and asks "how do I get upstairs?"

I glance up at the arched ceiling, complete with I beams and sunlights, that clearly has no upstairs, and explain to him that the up arrow symbol means straight ahead on 2 dimensional signs.

Lady pax: "Sir, do I look for my destination when trying to find what gate my flight is at on the monitors, because I don't see Detroit and we are in Detroit?"

Another time, I was eating at Chili's in LGA on a long airport break and the guys next to me were in a hurry to catch their flint but they had full beers (in plastic cups). They were wondering if they could take them to go, so of course...

To each other: Hey sake the pilot he would know.
Them: we can take are beers with us right?
Me: not sure, don't know much about the drinking rules at the airport

You are a bad, bad man, that's why I like you!:)