Doug Parker.

Every tool has his day, and this is definitely his day. He actually got six unions to agree he's a cool CEO.

Here's to you, Doug!

No sweat, I guess I accidently started that whole discussion, so I definitely get some tool points.

Pile on to the previous post about the hair guy... After spending the entire first day of the trip talking about how much money he made, and showing me his photo album of all his toys (I was on probation at the time), we get the bill at the restaurant, and he spends a good 5 minutes dividing up our bill to make sure he doesn't pay a penny more than he has to. Thanks, buddy.

I heard many stories about this guy, but never flew with him. Can anyone from ASA verify? I have seen this guy, he has badly bleached hair that looks like an orange mop on his head. At asa often the captains would ask the FAs and female FOs if they wanted a room check, which usually just means waiting outside with the door open while the FA (or FO) makes sure no one is hiding out in the room. This is because there have been issues in the past. Well one of the ASA captains apparently does the room check by summersaulting into the room and ending up on one knee with his hands in a fake gun position. He also is rumored to have told everyone he works for the FBI as well.

Yes, but many of those issues have been resolved though software updates. It's true that both FD's should be off at the same time, but you shouldn't always follow them. For instance, on a RNAV approach once below the DA you have to transition to visual and disregard the flight director. Otherwise it'll guide you straight to the threshold. Also, problems with faulty RA antennas have resulted in false autoland ques with engine rollbacks well above 100 feet. It's possible to be hand flying with the ILS as guidance, and get the faulty RA indication. That example may be a little extreme, but it is one in which you would not want to follow the FD. JMO. :)

All of that is true and more. Hes still there. Not going to post any more about this individual, but most of the rumors are true. Flew with him many times.

I was dead-heading in uniform to pick up a new airplane, seated in an aisle seat. Catching a nap because I had a busy week of flying. F/A is doing her beverage and snack service and decides she really wants me to have some pretzels. So...she tucked the little pretzel bag between my leg and the chair. Really lady? Wake me up so I can have a pretzel? Congratulations . . . you were the tool of the day.

Lets see, Ive heard of a guy stripping down to his underwear in the cockpit to apply lotion on himself because his skin was so dry. Also a FDAL LCA on a FNWA crewed flight yelling at the FA because his meal wasnt on fine china like they DAL way. Lots of stories of the guy Luv2rotate is referring to, "Mclovin". Theres a guy here too that gives the FO a broken leg off a barbie doll when it is your leg, apparently he get confused on whos leg it is so he needs to be able to see it on your side at all times. O and lastly I was in 1st class commuting home for Thanksgiving and the guy next to me looks at me and tells me the help doesnt deserve to sit up front and I should be in back.

The drug mule passenger that threatens the passenger next to him (a cop). I guess he missed mule ground school the day they talked about keeping a low profile and not making a spectacle of oneself.

Had a passenger that wouldn't talk to or even look at the flight attendant. When the FA asked her husband what was wrong he said "She doesn't talk to the help". :eek:

Tools can be useful
 

Years ago I flew with an interesting type, others had pointed out that he had his pants tailored without rear pockets no doubt to enhance the smooth lines of his rotund bum. Still lived with mom, pushing sixty.

Every time he began his flight deck preflight it was with eight, no more or less, handi-wipes individually applied to every surface within reach.

Jepps updates were amusing, he had a set of a dozen felt tipped markers glued to the lid of his chart case and used them liberally to trace routes and navaids on every newly changed chart. I must say I was quite taken with the number of colors used for this task over a number of hours and it brought back fond memories of a large box of crayons.

He was fluent in three languages, unfortunately English was not one of them. His FOs acted as interpreters of ACARS messages, like airport closings for weather.

One night the suffering paid off. We departed an airport in Argentina with a rapidly approaching line of very active storms. It was my leg and we were going to climb parallel to the front until an opening could be found. He directed me to turn into a narrow opening between two very violent storms, I said:"You have the controls Cappy." There was a very loud boom and a likely strike within the next minute.

So how was the tool useful? I got an extra day in Brasil while they fixed the hole in the wing.