Any non-rev who puts thier bare feet on the bulkhead wall..

It's been a couple years but I heard it on a Continental flight. A 757 if I remember correctly.

How about the tool who informs the pax of the wind speed and direction at the destination: "78 degrees with winds out of the south at 5 knots.". Had one pax comment "We must have a sailing convention on board.". Lololol.....

The tool that reads her newspaper while cleared to intercept the localizer, but is quick to tell someone else they are non-standard.....kick rocks!

At 0600 at 35,000 feet:

"Good morning ladies and gentleman, we've reached our cruising altitude of 35,000 feet en route to Atlanta. Our uh...route of flight will take us over Franklin, then down uh... over Raleigh-Durham towards uh...Florence South Carolina. We'll make a right there and head towards the southeast uh...side of the Atlanta arrival complex. Atlanta is landing to the east this morning, we can uh...expect runway 10. We're expecting a smooth ride so I'm going to go ahead uh... and turn off the fasten seat belt sign but remind you that if we experience some unexpected turbulence along the way then I'm going to have to turn the fasten seat belt sign back on and ask you to please return to your seats and remain seated until I can find a smoother altitude. Gate of arrival will be uh....C12, that's C as in Charlie, 12. That gate can always change but for now if you are uh... making connections out of Atlanta our flights will be in the C concourse and D concourse. There is a train underneath the airport that connects the two terminals. Well, that's all I have for now. The weather in Atlanta is currently 65 degrees and clear skies with winds out of the east at 15 mph, it should warm up as the morning goes along. I will update you in about a half an hour as we begin our descent into the Atlanta area. For now sit back, relax and enjoy the flight."


Not to pick on the poor 717 pilot making that announcement, but it was awful. Everyone was asleep and that 717 overhead is right close to your head so it's LOUD. I was holding a sleeping 3 month old trying to keep her from waking up. The good news is he followed up and indeed gave us a just as long descent PA.

About a week later coming out of FL on a 0500 something departure, the guy I'm flying with does the same thing...

http://i.investopedia.com/inv/articl...rated_man2.jpg

It's in the FOM. No PA's when a majority of normal people are sleeping.

How about the 757 CA that introduces himself each leg from the First Class cabin: It goes like this....His name, Naval aviator, hours in Navy plane, carrier assignment, night traps, and probably his call sign too, but I was laughing so hard had to turn off the PA button! To give him some credit I think he does tell the pax time enroute and weather...but in a really soft voice...the Navy stuff is in his DJ voice!

it is very difficult not to haze him in the cockpit. for ex. DO NOT pretend that you have no idea what an A6, A4, F14, F18 etc are...and whatever you do...DO NOT ASK "are they props or something?" it will certainly launch this poor guy into orbit!!! once he is in orbit and starts to question your background...DO NOT SAY...my only experience is flight instructing in Cessna's...mom was on the interview board!!!! NO!!! Don't do it!!! :eek:

for what it is worth, when he finally gets that you are hazing him he is a really nice guy...just one of those poor guys stuck in the glory days. i heard there is a m88 guy like that too!

The deadhead pilot that kept talking to a girl behind him inviting her to sit next to him, using pick up lines like "you could be my future ex wife." .... She was so obviously uncomfortable and not interested. I was deadheading as well and was embarrassed for all pilotkind.

I'm 35 and was deadheading next to a 15 yr old high school chick who wouldn't stop asking me questions in that horrible high school speak, "So is it LIKE scary flying a plane?" AWKWARD!!

DAL had a "tool of the decade", a certain SVP that would never fly, except when there was something new or interesting going on, and so he'd be trained on that airplane, flying that inaugural.

I hear he showed up for very difficult negotiations on pre-BK paycuts in a new Aston Martin, or something like it, and wanted to talk about his car.

fixed your post