That reminds me of a Tool I had to sit next to a long time ago. I went back to my 'rest seat' for first break on the way to Gatwick. There's a business man sitting next to me. He looks annoyed that I am there, because he's got to move his crap out of my seat I guess. So I make my bed and try to get comfortable. He's looking at me, like I'm nuts. Then he says, "Aren't you supposed to be up front, flying the airplane??"

So as nicely as I can, I try explain to him the concept of a 'relief pilot' and the fact that the FAA REQUIRES it on all flights over 8 hours.

He says, "Well, I work long days too. I usually work 10 hours a day, but I don't get to take a 3 hour nap in the middle of MY DAY!"

To end his Tool's rant, in as condecending voice as I can muster up, I loudly say, "Really? And if YOU make a mistake at YOUR JOB, because you've been UP ALL NIGHT, WITH NO SLEEP, how many people are going to DIE?"

That shut him up and I got some sleep.

Which reminds me of another F/C Business tool. When I was an engineer on the 727, I went back to get some coffee for the Capt. and there's a Tool standing in the galley, hitting on the (young, pretty) F/A. Well, I say, "Excuse me, but the Capt. would like some coffee..." as I try to squeeze past him. He looks at me like I'm the scum of the earth and says, "Why don't you just get back up there and do your Job!"

Well, I was a newb, so I bit my tounge, got the coffee and went back up front. I looked out the peep-hole and see the Tool is going into the F/C lav. I found and pulled the Lav Lights CB, and let him pee in the dark and re-think his comments to me. :D

I send the message, but why? Its on the predeparture report. Did it change?

Its like the lav and cleaning checkboxes. Yeah, we just flew a 14 hour leg. The lavs are fine and the plane is ready to turn, just gas it up. Tool checkboxes.

Premerger dl cx can't send Acars in range like pre merger nw can

Crews that call in range for anything while in the terminal area especially when its busy. I mean rly?

during the preflight briefing, had a Tool captain one day explain to me the cut on his finger is a "port of entry" so if I start bleeding I should inform him as he doesn't know my lifestyle....he was serious

What about when you ding the flight attendants to get up? Here's a few I've heard.....

Ding......beavers off the bench.

Ding......the crack in back is doing the snack attack.

Ding......she means nothing to me.

Ding......she's up (male flight attendant)

All true, but as for ATL, I would emphasize that is only the domestic lounge under A concourse. I never realized how gloomy and depressing the place was until I starting flying international a few years ago.

Typical international lounge conversation:

"Hey Jim, how's it going?"

"Headed off to Dublin. Where you headed?"

"Cool. Enjoy a Guinness or two for me. I headed to Buenos Aires."

"That's cool too. Have a great steak with some Malbec, and don't get too friendly with those hookers!"


Typical domestic lounge conversation (if there is one at all):

(Pilot on telephone, loudly): "Hey I thought that real estate deal was done last week!"

(Other pilot on other phone): "The S&P is down 2%? Sell it all."

(Third pilot to friend): "Hey let me tell you about my boat...and let me tell you about my kid who aced the SAT...and let me tell you about my business...ah heck, let me just tell you about me."

(Ten minutes later): "Oh, I forgot, anything going on in your life?"

Yeah seriously. Our SOP's don't require an 'in range' call, but everyone still does.. A 10yr old w and iPad can tell where the flight is, how fast its going, how high, and when its going to land. You think ops doesn't know this? Plus wheelchair duty is not written anywhere; so don't bother me about it. Use the information channel that is specific for that kind of stuff

What if the controllers say it too? Are they tools as well. Count me in as one of those....SEEEEYYAAAAAAAAA!

DH pilot who spills coffee on the hot college chick next to him while trying to act cool. Oops that was me... Fail