doubles

Ok, this might be a little off of the usual “how do I get hired” and “airline x is better than airline y” topics. But…

How have your families done with you being gone half the month? At the point in your career when it went to one-third of the month, how did they do then?

How did your kids do through the years as they progressed from children to teen to young adult?

Looking for genuine retrospective and/or introspection. I walked away from the airlines but now have a chance to get back in…

jtf560

In modern times, you can be gone from home, but still put in semi quality time each day with FaceTime or similar apps. To have a non messed up family from being gone a lot, you have to actually put some work into it both while you are home and while you are away. A wife can do some short videos of your kids at events that you had to miss and you can then let them know you watched and give them encouragement from what you saw. It isn't the same as being there, but it is better than being gone and not showing them you care. I started working a few days less each month a few years ago to spend more time with my family and it helped. I'd probably be divorced if I didn't. My kids are still not into their teens so I can't say what it like with older kids and being gone, but if you do a good job with your kids when they are young, there is a least a chance they will give you a little time and respect even when they are teenagers.

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rickair7777

Not all potential spouses are up for the lifestyle... some are smart enough to know that and will remove themselves from matrimonial consideration, but some just don't know better until they find out the hard way.

It's incumbent on YOU to assess how any particular girl is going to handle it (independence is key). Just because she's fine with it as a girlfriend does not necessarily mean it will work out with 2-3 kids in the mix.

The penalty for screwing that up is paying for her and the kids to live the lifestyle while you pick up OT to make ends meet and try to see your kids around your work schedule and at her convenience. Divorce is not kind to pilots, try hard to avoid it.

If you're already married and considering a career change, the same applies, but obviously it's the wife not the career which has priority.

NoDeskJob

Some good responses so far. I will echo having an independent/stable spouse is key. I think back on some of the girls I dated, and they wouldn’t have made it 2 years with me on the road.

Another point I’ll advocate is be a local. Do not commute…..I know it’s not always possible. But if your goal is to be home more; do not commute.

for example; if you were to be within an easy drive of NYC at DL, you could quickly hold 1 day trips and be home with the fam every afternoon/evening. In your own bed every night.
1 day trips go junior at NYC cause most people commute.
Every base is a little different, but if you can live local, it expands your bidding options and ability drop/manipulate your schedule

Electrickjet

RA offers sage advice above. A poor choice for a spouse will bring turmoil at best, with the destruction of a marriage & family a strong possibility. AIDS* does not discriminate, it can & will destroy decades of achievement and an otherwise tremendously satisfying career.

*AIDS = Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome

ZapBrannigan

Agree with the above. My wife of 20 years is fiercely independent, which means that when the water heater dies, or there's a bat in the house, or the kid gets sick, I don't even get a text about it. She just handles it.

Is she the perfect wife? Heck no. Two type A personalities definitely clash. But I wouldn't trade her for some tiny blonde pilot show-wife who can't do anything for herself. This job demands a spouse who didn't NEED to be a spouse.

The ones who went from Daddy's house to the sorority house to your house probably aren't going to make it as an airline wife.

daOldMan

This is the reason that we make the money that we do. We trade 1/2 of our family life for a big paycheck. They are not paying us the money because we fly the airplanes. Heck, the airplanes pretty much fly themselves these days (compared to the Connie/DC-3). They pay us for the time we spend away from family.

rickair7777

Yes. But the airplanes aren't *that* easy to fly... they are paying to attract a certain level of talent, and they have to compete with other careers (and aviation sectors) for the type of people they want. It's not just monkey skills, human factors is a big deal so you can't just hire basement losers who are really good at video games.

That applies more to branded operations than FFD, but even FFD enjoys a higher quality applicant pool than their pay would otherwise warrant... most come to build time for the bigs, and will tolerate some dues paying.

ZeroTT

Do you have a spouse/spouse designee yet?

Do you have kids?

agree with above regarding independent spouse

TankerDriver

"Half the month" -

1. Don't commute! Live in base. If you can move to do this, do it.

2. Bid reserve. If you live in base, this could be advantageous to you. This month has been pretty busy on reserve for me and I'll only be "away from home" eight nights sleeping in a hotel bed (12 days of work). That is still 19 days at home. I was full time military before this job and I see my kids more now than I did before. I am not talking about deployments either; just normal, every day, home station Ops working a desk for 9 hrs a day with a 45 min commute on either side. I was up and out of the house before anyone else got up and I wouldn't get home until 2-1/2 hrs after my kids got home from school. Now, when I am home, I can walk them to/from the bus stop.

On the other side of things, time away from your spouse can provide a healthier relationship. Works for me.