Halon1211

I am an NK pilot actively looking to get out, one alluring thing about a legacy is the long haul flying. But the other day I got a layover in LIM and as I was lying in bed I got this weird “what if something happened and I needed to get back home ASAP” feeling. Like if this was ATL and something urgent happened (Family member rushed to the ER, house is on fire, ect.) then there are tons of flights from ATL back to home or I just rent a car and be home in a few hours.



Kinda brushed it off then it happened again on a GYE layover. Got this weird feeling of being helpless for my family far away from home. Again being in the states is one thing vs. being somewhere further away where it takes longer to get back home if something happens. This feeling was so horrible I never want to do those trips again.



Now I can’t even imagine doing actual long haul flying and being even further away like Asia or Africa and it would take even further to get home.



back in my 20’s I used to travel the world and never gave it another thought. Now that I’m married and have kids I just get this uneasy helpless feeling for my family. Even stuff like what if there was an earthquake where I’m at or another 9/11 and it’s a long time before I can get back to them.



Does anyone else get this weird phobia? If so how did you deal with it and does it get better? Or maybe it never goes away and long haul flying isn’t for me? Thanks.

symbian simian

On the off-chance that you are serious....

Partner (121 pilot) and I waited till I got based in the USA before we contemplated kids (almost 8 years). Partner did day trips while the kids were young, I was 91K, so didn't have that option. Always paid a fortune on child care, because we didn't want a high high schooler in charge (always an adult with a degree in something child related, first year at NK it cost me money to go to work). Kids are almost in college, this week was the first time we left them alone for a few nights, because we were in driving distance, and the "baby" sitter had a relative pass away in hospital after a car crash.
I have always been able to compartmentalize, and don't really worry while on a 4-day, but partner will check in from a turn. I think it isn't weird, and I think it is definitely something I would not like to combine with LH. Do a couple of multiday trips where you pretend to be in Lagos, so no cell service, no internet, don't get in touch with anyone, no "find my...". See how it makes you and your family feel.
(it might be wise to give the fam a headsup why you are doing this....)

Ice Bear

These anxieties and many others are part of the normal human experience, despite the FAA's antiquated position on mental health. But rest assured, your wife managed to keep herself alive before meeting you and that won't change.

Ask yourself: what's the (realistically) worst thing that could happen? House fire? The wife will know to get your kids and herself out of a burning house. Heck, your kids will know to get themselves out of a burning house. Self preservation is innate. There are smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors to make extra double sure. While they love you, you're not necessary to your family's literal survival. Out-perform your brain's mental gymnastics.

(Also worth noting that whether you're in Atlanta or Ecuador, you're too far away to make any tangible diffference in a time-sensitive emergency situation)

captjns

Keeping each other up to date on schedules via text/email is a help. Share the info with relatives and close friends. Hotel contact info is a must in certain parts of the world. Having friends nearby is a big help. Life will go on. And you will make it home to be with your family in times of need.

ZapBrannigan

I've often worried about the same. Especially once our teen started driving.

At my airline long haul international isn't an option. Even if it were I don't think I would bid it. I like being within one or two time zones from home. Staying on my own sleep schedule (even with some airline induced early wakeups) and, like you said, being able to get home within a few hours as opposed to within a few days.

Thats the nice thing about this profession thoug. Choose your own adventure. If you can handle the narrowbody grind, every airline offers it.

dckozak

If you have issues being away from family, I wonder how you can deal with any separation? An out and back 500 miles away from home still has the potential to have you many hours away from being on scene to solve a crisis at home. As mentioned in a previous post, you can’t be everywhere, all the time to solve lifes problems. Now if you have issues with your spouses ability/willingness to manage while you are away, then that’s a different issue. If you lack a good support structure at home (trusted neighbors, friends, family) and you believe your spouse couldn’t cope with non emergencies, let alone the real deal, then… I stand corrected.

In my experience, my previous employer would take us off a trip and fly us home from where ever and when ever, regardless of how it could adversely affect operations. Asia is pretty much one leg to CONUS, hopefully only one other leg to home. Twenty four and at most 48 hours from report to home in all but the most remote locations most of us flew to. Won’t save the house burning, but you were never realistically in a position to do anything about that. Live in a community with good public services and trust your spouse and family to do the right thing.

Sliceback

Guys will stay domestic while their wife is pregnant. I wasn't that bright. Landed from Europe, pre cell phone and even pre-beeper days, and a supervisor met me at the gate - "your wife's in the hospital having your baby (first child)." Rush to get the next commuter flight home. Drive by the house so I pull in to see if there's anyone there....wife opens the door...still very pregnant. "I was told you were at the hospital having the baby?" "No, I'm being induced tomorrow."

On long haul flights to Europe the plane leaves 2-4 hours after arrival. If you miss it's departure you're stuck.

Concern about being away and something happens? How many life altering events that needed you home immediately happened so far? Almost happened to me. Wife was run over. Unconscious. After all the tests came back negative she was released. Everyone surprised that she had no serious injuries. All this occurred in about 2-4 hrs. I couldn't have made it home from anywhere in the U.S. that quickly. If her outcome had been worse ANY flight home would have been a very tough time. The next day, after the adrenaline had worn off, we went back to the hospital and they found some broken bones in her foot. Her face/head took such a beating (face plant after being knocked 10-15' into the air) the discomfort in her foot wasn't noticed.

rickair7777

In 20+ years of marriage I've experienced just one event where I really needed to be home NOW.

I was at the gym a mile away, but swimming, so by the time I checked my phone I was an hour late. Wish I could have been there sooner but what are you going to do? Non crew also travel for work, or pleasure. Just life.

Make sure your SO knows how to get hold of the company when you're gone, and obviously she should have local friends or family. If not, give her contact info for several pilot friends who might be able to get there faster than you.

Be aware that if it's a serious emergency involving a loved one the company (if they know about it) will pull you off the trip, even if the fastest way home is for you to work the return flight on a turn. Too much liability with an emotionally distressed pilot.

Pilot4000

Trying to figure out the trolling angle of this post.

dera

LH doesn't really make that much of a difference than say LAX (if you live on the east coast for example).
Something happens at night? Well, that's daytime in Asia and you can likely hop on a plane right away, whereas in LAX you wait until the morning. Time difference to get home is a couple of hours.
If in Europe, LHR to JFK is 7 hours, LAX to JFK is 6. There are more flights between LHR and JFK than LAX and JFK.

Internet is available everywhere these days.