give me your best pilot quotes
10-05-2007, 08:05 PM
#61
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Aug 2007
Posts: 459
Two that work well if your co-worker seems to be floating their way down the runway trying to make a good landing:
"Gate 13... Gate 14... Gate 15...." (hopefully you dorks get the Airplane! ref..)
or.. "Would you like me to ask for lower?" That usually ruffles them a little bit.
"Gate 13... Gate 14... Gate 15...." (hopefully you dorks get the Airplane! ref..)
or.. "Would you like me to ask for lower?" That usually ruffles them a little bit.
10-05-2007, 09:19 PM
#64
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2007
Position: SAABster
Posts: 639
Originally Posted by ShyGuy
You want a good pilot quote? Here's one from a pilot that I know of in a CRJ bridge program:
"I don't care about pay... all I want is the [medical/life] insurance."
Yup, that's the stuff going into regionals today. No wonder the wages will never be raised beyond the sh*tty level.
The funniest thing? That guy can't fly worth sh*t!
And yet, thanks to his CRJ course, he'll be sitting right seat with his 300 hours and no common sense. Good luck to all Pinnacle captains who will have to fly with him.
"I don't care about pay... all I want is the [medical/life] insurance."
Yup, that's the stuff going into regionals today. No wonder the wages will never be raised beyond the sh*tty level.
The funniest thing? That guy can't fly worth sh*t!
And yet, thanks to his CRJ course, he'll be sitting right seat with his 300 hours and no common sense. Good luck to all Pinnacle captains who will have to fly with him.
10-05-2007, 09:52 PM
#70
Line Holder
Joined APC: Jul 2006
Posts: 31
Maybe you have seen some of these . . .
When one engine fails on a twin engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.
Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.
Never trade luck for skill.
The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?", and "Ooh ****!"
Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
Progress in airline flying: Now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.
Airspeed, altitude, or brains - two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.
A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.
I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!
If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter - and therefore, unsafe.
Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.
Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.
Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything about it.
When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
Just remember - if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II: When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.
The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)
If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)
Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall Fear No Evil For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing (sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location Kadena, Japan).
You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F. Crickmore - test pilot)
Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime (sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time. (Author unknown, but someone who's been there)
"Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320).
What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
Basic Flying Rules:
Try to stay in the middle of the air.
Do not go near the edges of it.
The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.
When one engine fails on a twin engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.
Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.
Never trade luck for skill.
The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?", and "Ooh ****!"
Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
Progress in airline flying: Now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.
Airspeed, altitude, or brains - two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.
A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication.
I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!
If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter - and therefore, unsafe.
Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.
Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.
Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything about it.
When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
Just remember - if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II: When a prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.
The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)
If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)
Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall Fear No Evil For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing (sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating location Kadena, Japan).
You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F. Crickmore - test pilot)
Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.
There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime (sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).
The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time. (Author unknown, but someone who's been there)
"Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320).
What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.
Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
Basic Flying Rules:
Try to stay in the middle of the air.
Do not go near the edges of it.
The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.
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