Slice

It's the sense of entitlement she appears to have that chaps my a$$...if you're not home raising kids, get your a$$ out and work. You can only cook and clean so much...and it would be cheaper to hire a maid for $100 a week with the additional salary coming in!

FighterHayabusa

you have 2 choices - Get out now or be happy and accept it.

If you get out now, you may get away with only having to give her half of your PRESENT income the rest of your life. If you wait until you're making regional captain's or major's money, it'll be half of a much larger sum.

Until the divorce is finalized: sit the lowest level reserve, make the least money you possibly can. Get rid of joint accounts. Sell the house.

Or accept it and take care of her and be happy.Give her an allowance based on this formula:

Monthly Allowance = her Height (inches)/her Weight (lbs) * (hours spent cooking/cleaning/sorting mail etc) *(hours spent "taking care of her man") * (1/(hours spent watching Oprah or Dr. Phil))*K

K will be determined every year and is based on your monthly take home pay after bills such that her allowance, with all else remaining equal, goes up with cost of living.

Truman_Sparks

Does one really have to pay the ex-wife half of their wages earned AFTER they divorce? I assumed they get half of the assets aquired during the marraige! If both spouses worked almost equal during the marraige why would you owe money after?

vagabond

I apologize for not prefacing my post by saying (1) I was looking at the short term and (2) that my hope is the preservation of the marriage. It usually does not take long for the effects of reduced circumstances to rear its ugly head. Perhaps in a month or two, she will tire of eating tuna fish sandwiches and you can then tell her that if she got a job, she too can start chowing down on something better. Tony's suggestion of a garage sale is a good one. Nothing like watching personal property being sold off at pennies to the dollar to wake her up.

There is nothing wrong with your feeling that she should work outside of the home. With the way the economy is these days, it takes two paychecks (particularly if one of them is a Regional FO) to even achieve the idealized middle class.

The 5 year marriage mark is a very interesting phenomenon. A lot of introspection going on that sometimes borders on over-analysis.

FighterHayabusa

which state do you live in? NY and CA you don't even have to marry her and you're paying half

vagabond

Oh, I did not see what appears to be a legal question!

Some judges award alimony to the non-working spouse. Regarding division of property, the general rule is that, in a community property state (and I do not know if your state is a CP state), one spouse can ask for and get all the property that he/she brought into the marriage. The property or assets acquired after the marriage are usually divided evenly. All depends on how friendly you guys are and what your divorce lawyer has to say.

Truman_Sparks

Live in GA. Not sure of the laws. The funny thing is, she works FROM HOME, makes her own schedule!!!! It's so sad and rediculous.

FighterHayabusa

Meaning the longer you stay with her while not working, the more chance you have of having to pay afterward. Thank your lucky stars she pulled this while you aren't making any money!

mike734

She need an attitude adjustment. If she is unwilling to be an equal partner, cut your losses.

rjcaptwife

Truman,

If you've been married for 5 years then she had to have known what she was getting into (low paying, always gone first officer).
There must be an underlying problem to why she doesn't want to work anymore. If you were to get divorced or seperate, how would she support herself?