Once on WN, during the F/A announcement:

"If cabin pressure changes, first immediately stop screaming and put the mask around your big-ole head, nose and mouth..."

That got a little chuckle out of me.

Had a Delta FA tell the passengers to order as many drinks as they like up to the point she started to look like Halle Berry.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well done! What can I say...I love Europe:D

This is your Captain speaking
 

Try this and see what the pax say after what just happened

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3HOd...eature=related

After an 8+ hour delay in DFW because of two broken airplanes and then a ground stop for thunderstorms, I heard this one upon arrival into SAT late one night on American:

"Well folks, we'd like to thank you for flying American on our premier, same-day service to San Antonio".

I stole and subsequently used that one a few times after 3hr+ ground delays in PHL...

Ladies and Gentlemen welcome aboard flight 6721 to Scranton. Would our Flight Attendant please take her seat as we are number one for departure. If Scranton was not in your travel plans ... it is now.

Funniest Ever
 

We were listening to the ramp frequency in Charlotte and over the ramp frequency comes this passenger announcement by accident. "Hello folks welcome aboard flight xxx to xxx. My name is captain xxx, some people call me captain fantastic. Then goes on for about another minute tying up the ramp frequency. There must have been at least five comments immediately following the announcement. Hey captain fantastic nice to meet you and all kinds of other funny stuff. It was hilarious. No comment from captain fantastic after that.

Coming up the hudson river into LGA:

Ladies and Gentleman, we have begun our final decent into NY Laguardia airport. For those of you on the right-hand side of the aircraft, you'll be able to enjoy a beutiful view of NYC. For those of you on the left side, you can view those on the right enjoying the view of NYC.

On a Southwest Flight upon landing in San Diego "Welcome to Seattle! ... haha, made you look"

Flying back to my crew base with a dash full of other PDT guys we kinda bounced it in and the capt made this fine announcement "hey guys where home".