Passenger Announcements
 

What's your best line(s) in the name of humor and light-heartedness while keeping it professional?

We'll be arriving a few minutes late due to some unexpected... headwinds, giggity

After a missed aproach or go around the female voice of a she captain:
"We had to discontinue the aproach because we were in an uncomfortable position.....................ahhha........ehhhhhhh ............for......ahhhhh LANDING !

"The Fasten Seatbeat Sign is off....feel free to relax, strectch, and enjoy the SPACIOUS Cabin aboard our CL-65 Aircraft"

I always get a few chuckles with that one

Our gate is F-7. That's F, as in FAAAAAAAANTASTIC!

lol this thread should be good:D

I usually also just do mine so they're really cheesy, but my tone of voice fluctuates as much as a rollercoaster....radio announcer like.

If it's a trip with a new FA, I usually always get dinged cuz I was the FO who did the in range PA announcement :o

whatever your announcement may be please, please, please remember to TURN THE PA OFF!!!!

http://www.break.com/index/female-tr...-mic-on_1.html

Haha well when I was brand new to the plane I know I made the "position and hold" announcements to the passengers once maybe twice....

I flew with a guy that would say we have the best flight attendants, unfortunately, they're not working today.

Used quite a few times on the EMB145 as well..... thats a good, quick one.

On the majors, sometimes when running late, they get the printout with individual city gates for connections..... When reading them off, throwing in a random one is fun.....

"Boston, gate XXX.... Chicago, gate XXX.... metropolis, gate XXX.... minneapolis, gate XXX...... Gotham city, gate XXX" :D

You'll also hear some good ones during SWA Passenger briefings....

(when talking about the oxygen system)
If you are sitting next to a child or someone just someone acting like one, put your mask on first.......

If you are making a connection to another airline, frankly we don't care.

"We hope you enjoyed 'giving us the business' as much as we enjoyed 'taking you for a ride."

I gotta write some of those down! Too funny.

"The seat belt sign is coming off, we just have a couple of favors to ask....
1. Please keep your seatbelt fastened when in your seat
2. Please keep the ailes as free as possible to help the flight attendants out.
3. Please keep your arms and legs inside the aircraft at all times.

I like the one: "ladies and gentlemen current conditions in Dallas are 75 degrees, light winds, and broken clouds. We will try to have those clouds fixed before we get there".

Sometimes for my predeparture announcement in I'll say, welcome aboard this flight to Cancun......oh I mean, Boston....

Its funny when you know its snowing like crazy there, in the middle of winter. Or if you're going south, mention someplace really cold, and see how many dings the FA gets from PAX :):)

after telling the FA to be seated for depature i forgot to take my finger off the button and announced over the pa 'cabin ready taxi check complete'

Comair, best thing Since sliced Bread
 

Sorry, wrong thread.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 31,000 feet and expect a smooth ride so the seat belt sign is coming off. Our route of flight will take us over RIKLE, Dryer, Jet-29, Jamestown, Jet-70, Wilkes-Barre, and past LENDY. Enjoy the flight.

Once on WN, during the F/A announcement:

"If cabin pressure changes, first immediately stop screaming and put the mask around your big-ole head, nose and mouth..."

That got a little chuckle out of me.

Had a Delta FA tell the passengers to order as many drinks as they like up to the point she started to look like Halle Berry.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well done! What can I say...I love Europe:D

This is your Captain speaking
 

Try this and see what the pax say after what just happened

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3HOd...eature=related

After an 8+ hour delay in DFW because of two broken airplanes and then a ground stop for thunderstorms, I heard this one upon arrival into SAT late one night on American:

"Well folks, we'd like to thank you for flying American on our premier, same-day service to San Antonio".

I stole and subsequently used that one a few times after 3hr+ ground delays in PHL...

Ladies and Gentlemen welcome aboard flight 6721 to Scranton. Would our Flight Attendant please take her seat as we are number one for departure. If Scranton was not in your travel plans ... it is now.

Funniest Ever
 

We were listening to the ramp frequency in Charlotte and over the ramp frequency comes this passenger announcement by accident. "Hello folks welcome aboard flight xxx to xxx. My name is captain xxx, some people call me captain fantastic. Then goes on for about another minute tying up the ramp frequency. There must have been at least five comments immediately following the announcement. Hey captain fantastic nice to meet you and all kinds of other funny stuff. It was hilarious. No comment from captain fantastic after that.

Coming up the hudson river into LGA:

Ladies and Gentleman, we have begun our final decent into NY Laguardia airport. For those of you on the right-hand side of the aircraft, you'll be able to enjoy a beutiful view of NYC. For those of you on the left side, you can view those on the right enjoying the view of NYC.

On a Southwest Flight upon landing in San Diego "Welcome to Seattle! ... haha, made you look"

Flying back to my crew base with a dash full of other PDT guys we kinda bounced it in and the capt made this fine announcement "hey guys where home".

"The seatbelt sign is off. Please feel free to get up and move about the cabin. If you can find anywhere to go."

"Well folks for those of you on the right side of the aircraft you can see the grand canyon, and don't worry for you folks on the left side in about 30 seconds we are going to roll the airplane upside down so you can enjoy the view of the grand canyon also, we will be landing in Salt lake in about 25 minutes" that's always a fun one

"Well folks welcome aboard our flight to Austin, Austin Massachusetts," Usually at least one person per flight gets the suttle "Road Trip" the movie reference.:cool:

Have a bud who uses this one..."I want to thank you for flying XXX where, correct destination, on time, and with your bags, pick two of three is our goal"

If there is a dead heading crew in the back: "...and some of you may notice a couple of crew members in the back, they're there to answer any of your aviation related questions."

PED's
 

After going around due to ATC instruction...make a PA and say that you got a cockpit indication that somone had just turned on their cell phone, please point out this individual to the FA...there will be a lot of finger pointing going on HAHA.

"Folks, welcome to (Insert southern city here)! Be sure to congratulate our FA- today is her last day with the airline- she's leaving to begin her career as a NASCAR driver. For those of you interested in racing, she'll be making an appearance next weekend at the Downtown Auto Zone. Be sure to ask her about it as you deplane!"

I've used this one a bunch

When I know the flight is kinda empty, i usually tell the folks, "If you don't really care about the person you're seated next to, now it's time to change your seat before we leave the gate." Usually get a few chuckles from the old couples.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to go ahead and turn off the fasten seatbelt sign, the captain says I'm doing really well for my first time flying a plane..."

Thats Freakin Awesome!!!!!!