A buddy of mine told me this one:

His crew had to cancel a revenue leg due to maintenance and wound up ferrying the plane to a maintenance base. There was a DHing crewmember that was going that way and hitched a ride. The flight attendant decided to take a nap in the back since there were no passengers onboard and didn't see the DHer board the plane. The Capt. and FO had the DHing pilot come up into the cockpit and fly the plane and had him lock the door behind him. Then they woke up the F/A in a panic to ask her how to unlock the door from the outside because they were locked out. They let her go for a couple minutes before they told her there was another pilot onboard.

Also with new FA's when they call the cabin, answer " scheduling ... what do you need?" Had one actually say sorry, wrong number then hung up and called us again

 

The best plane for pulling pranks on F/As was the Shorts 330.

We were flying from BWI to ISP (loong way in the skypig) with my girlfriend in the back (F/A). I was flying with a buddy of mine, a former pilot for Air Liberia. He's black, I'm pretty whitebread and I'm bored. Half way there I tell my buddy hey, let's swap seats. So we climb over the center pedestal and trade. Now remember, the cockpit doors in a Shorts are sliding doors to the outside of each pilot's shoulder (you get your own door). I ring the interphone and ask for a soda for me, nothing for Mike, the F/O. Pretty soon I can feel the pitch change as she walks up the aisle. Also, I should say that she liked to give a little squeeze to Captain Happy when she opened the door. Well, she slides the door open, reaches forward, sees this big black hand on the yoke and screams! She drops the drink, slams the door shut and runs to the back of the plane. She cussed us out the rest of the pairing. It was great!

The Shorts had a pretty big overhead panel with all sorts of cool switches and lights. There was one light, I think it was an inverter light that you could make come on without blowing anything up. Guys would get a labelmaker and put T. O'HEAT next to the light. You'd flip the switch, make the light come on and ring the F/A. She'd come up and you'd say,"Hey, Suzie, we have a toilet overheat", pointing to the glowing light. You'd send her back to flush the lav 3 times. She'd come back up and you'd say "sorry, that didn't work - dump a bucket of ice down there". If you really had a live one the coup d'etat would be, "damn - that light is still on. Feel around the bowl to see if you can find which side is hot". They'd come back with a blue hand and you'd say "that's OK, the light went out". You just didn't want to order a beverage after that one.

Then there was the classic landing gear malfunction. This worked REALLY well with 30 businessmen early in the morning. The Shorts had the gear in pods next to the fuselage. There was a 10kt difference if the gear was up or down. You'd call little Suzie up front and say "Suzie we have a gear problem today. We have to check it out before we land. I need you to go by row 6 and jump up and down 4 times. That will help unlock the gear". So she'd go back, you'd wait until the 4th THUMP and put the gear handle down. Worked every time. She'd be so happy that she had helped save the day.

Ahh the good old days!

 

You boys better behave. Those girls are going to get back at you when you least expect it.

 

On April Fools Day, we noticed that the FAs were slipping toilet paper over the cockpit door. They put the whole roll over the door and it wound up in a big pile.

To get them back, on the next leg as we taxied out, after I made the normal welcome announcement I said:

Today is a special day for both of our flight attendants. One is an aspiring author who has just been published for the first time. Her debut article, about her recent vacation in Mexico, is on page 45 of this month's Sky magazine and can be found in your seat back pocket.

Our other flight attendant came to us a couple of years ago to conquer her fear of heights. Now that she has conquered her fear, she will be leaving us after this flight in order to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming a trapeze artist in the circus.

Please take the time to congratulate them both.
==
Also, the captain took the TP and stuffed it in their overnight bags when they weren't looking.

 

Not quite a F/A prank, but a student prank: IPs used to get student pilots to test the pitot system by kneeling in front of the jet (T-37) and blowing on it. Of course everything tested ok and at graduation, there'd be pictures floating around of a guy on his knees with a pitot tube in his mouth.

The other one I heard was an instructor pulled the cabin heat lever in the T-37, its bleed air, and makes quite a noise in an already loud jet. The IP told my friend "**** we're going to lose the canopy. Grab it and don't let go." So my friend held on to the canopy for a few minutes before coming to his senses...

 

Well, you know you can steer the airplane by pushing and pulling on the canopy rail, right??










- The truth only hurts if it should -

 

I once flew with a flight attendant who confessed her dirty prank on crews she didn't care for.

When she was ready to rip one, she would come into the cockpit and make small talk. As she left, she would release the air between her buns and shut the door behind her.

Now, within seconds the whole cockpit would stick of you know what. None of the pilots would expect that this came from the cute F/A, of course, so it was left for the pilots point blame among each other.

Beeatch!

 

There's a story that I once heard about one of my former coworkers that called the FA up front and said that they had a "lav contamination" light, and could she go back and just take a look at the lav and see if anything seemed abnormal.

Of course, the FA would go back and check, only to come back and say that the lav was ok... After they landed, the CA would go to the back, discreetly hiding a pair of dishwashing gloves, a water bottle, and some blue food coloring. He'd put on one glove, pop the lid on the bottle, color it blue (including making sure that some dye ran down the side and on the gloves), then walk back up to the front.

He explained that the airline next door had a "lav water quality analysis kit" and hand the other glove to the FA and ask her if she would go over and ask them to test the sample... Apparently it always made for great fun watching the reaction of the other airlines employees.

 

I remeber one of our caps at UFS doing with the IOE FA's the " oh crap, I forogot the keys inside ops, could you please go get them while we finish the peperwork so we can go early"? it was awsome. they always run across the ramp to ops and ask for the keys to start the batplane

 

In a regional ariline, during cruise, the crew called for coffee, and both pilots went out and hit in the cargo hold.
When the poor F/A came to the flightdeck and saw no one was there, they jumped her from behind, and she fainted.