I thought he had a legit simple question, how is that "hitting a nerve?"

Who rattled your cage Mr? Some people are way too sensitive on this forum. Is it that time of the month? I said that failing a checkride is a humbling experience and now I'm accusing everyone who has never failed a checkride of being cocky and complacent?
Get that chip off your shoulder and grow some skin.

^^^^^^I think we just discovered who has the hit nerve ;)

my cage is rattled and I have a chip on my shoulder because I asked a question? and you go off on a rant and say it's MY time of the month? Was I married to you once??

Yes, but you left me because I hurt your feelings and made you cry all the time. :D
To answer your original question, and Redman's, no I don't think everyone who has never failed a checkride is cocky and complacent. I used to be when I was learning until I busted a GA ride and it brought me back down to earth. I since saw the Chuck Yeager attitude in a couple of the students I instructed back in the day. A busted PPL or instrumnet checkride changed their attitude though. I think its a good thing to get out of the way during the early stages of a pilots career.
On the flip side, I have seen a couple of guys strut thier stuff because they have never failed a ride, only to wash out of thier first 121 gig.
Had those guys busted a checkride in a Cessna, they might have tried a bit harder.
Just my opinion. Doesn't apply to everyone. My point is a busted checkride isn't the end of the world and should never be hidden on an application. Whenever I interviewed and they asked me what happened I say I was young, cocky, over confident, and made a silly mistake because I got complacent. Lesson learned.

thank you :)

Is it bad to tell them you had a significant personal distraction that affected your performance (death in the family, wife left you, ect)? Or does that make it worse by sounding like an excuse? I busted a recurrent ride years ago because I should have called down and rescheduled but instead I tried to brave it and try and get it over with. Big mistake.

Sounding like an excuse may not be what makes it worse in that case. Wondering about poor judgement may. The interviewer's thought process could turn to: "would he still come in to work a flight in that situation if he did it for a checkride?"

I had the exact same thought, but then the learning point would have been he learned NOT to be complacent in such situations and to say 'enough' when the limit has been reached instead of trying to tough it out.

I'm wondering why it's taken 14 pages to say "admit all the **** you did, and move on" ... How hard was that...