Originally Posted by L8Z8

1. Hop around in your seat like an excited Jack Russel terrier, constantly urging expediency to other employees.

2. Get out there every flight and put on a show in the aisle for the people. You’re brave, smart, and basically Maverick from Top Gun. Remember, this is theater, not professional aviation.

3. Often remove fuel because your tugboat instincts just know it’s excessive and this will totally increase your profit sharing check.

4. Only start the second engine with enough time to enter the runway right at minimum stabilization time. The company is watching and your eventual merit badge award ceremony day will surely come to fruition. It doesn’t matter how busy that makes the FO, you’re the star of this show.

5. Talk to agents, ramp, van drivers, and hotel desks as if they’re lazy and beneath you.

6. Use the left seat as your personal lectern to regale the FO on new invented grievances from your favorite social media or news network. Starting off with something like, “We homeschool our kids because they let kids be cats in public school” commands respect and assures everyone you’re definitely not a gullible moron terrified of society.

7. If you were in the military make sure everyone knows. You need at least a lanyard, three bag tags, and perhaps a plane pin advertising this to ensure you’re noticed and thanked for your service.

8. If you were at SkyWest make sure you proudly announce you did “the Aspen flying” as this lets the FO know you’re the left hand of god and have magic blood.

9. Just be a normal functioning adult in the workplace, don’t do 1-8, and make safe decisions. Have fun!

Originally Posted by cal73

-Know your **** from shinola
-lord loves a working man
-dont trust whitey
-its out there, see a doctor get rid of it.
-737 crews: don’t leave your crew meal trays on the second jumpseat during landing in Orange County.

Originally Posted by Tesla S

Do NOT fuk the flight attendants.

You can think about it, but DON’T do it.

Originally Posted by Bestglide

it’s not even a consideration on the Widebodies.

Originally Posted by Airhoss

For some of our wide body captains it is a consideration.

Originally Posted by ReadOnly7

I’m a sexist degenerate pig….but I think the last few posts are just stupid and embarrassing. This isn’t the career that it was in the 60s through the 80s. Respecting your coworkers as people makes this job much less risky. Do stupid things outside of the company and your career will last much longer.

Originally Posted by ReadOnly7

I’m a sexist degenerate pig….but I think the last few posts are just stupid and embarrassing. This isn’t the career that it was in the 60s through the 80s. Respecting your coworkers as people makes this job much less risky. Do stupid things outside of the company and your career will last much longer.

Originally Posted by YAKflyer

That's kind of sick for me to contemplate. I retired from a different airline long ago, but when I was flying WB capt considering doing it with a FA would be like doing it with your mother.....or her mother.