Ohh I just remembered another good one!

Seattle Approach: [some airplane], left turn 270.
[some airplane]: left turn 270. Hey if you look up here we're carving a hole through the clouds!
Seattle Approach: there are no windows at approach control.
[some airplane]: oh right, sorry.

Well I haven't had too much time in the air yet but I'm sure when I was training I gave other people funny mic stories, especially when I was trying to taxi through Bradley Int.

Anyways, one of the funnier things I've heard so far was on my way from TEB to SCH I heard an airliner get off of NY APP and he said "Thanks, enjoy life".

approach: envoy 21xx contact center on 132.92

approach: envoy 21xx contact center on 132.92

approach: envoy that used to be eagle flight contact center on 132.92

envoy: 132.92 eagle flight 21xx.

Similar to the last post.
We were flying along today, cruising back towards DFW from BTR.

ATC: Eagle fl... Envoy fli..... Ugh.... Envoy and Eagle flight xxxx. Both of you contact Ft. Worth center on 1xx.xx.
Us (still laughing): Yaaaa..... We're still getting used to it too. 1xx.xx. C Ya!

Many moons ago, when I was learning to fly in Las Cruces, NM. We used to go to El Paso to practice approaches.

I guess things got a bit hectic with all the student pilots, so ATC goes: "All NAIA airplanes, turn and go home!"

After run up getting ready to enter the queue. (I am XXX 41, a DC-3)


XXX 41, hold short Alpha, let UPS 234 heavy pass, follow UPS 234 Heavy. Atlas 61 Heavy, you are going to let XXX 41 taxi ahead of you, he's a DC-3 at Lima, you got 'em?

Atlas: Yeah, we've got XXX 41, and don't worry, we've already fed her this morning.

Me: Good to know Atlas 61....oily food's no good for ya' anyways. XXX-41 following UPS 234 Heavy on Alpha.

(Laughter all around on ground)

(... because the company sends us out on a trip with an inoperative FMS).

ATC: XXX 63, cleared direct Pensacola Airport.
ME: Cleared direct the airport. Um, going to need a heading.
ATC: XXX 63, you can't navigate to your own destination?
ME: Not until we pick up that trusty NDB.

:) How were you getting there until that last 25nm?

Ground stop at JFK last summer due to wx (never happens)

XXX1392: So, again, can you give us some kind of timeframe as to when we can expect to depart?
JFK Ground: Gee, XXX1392, that depends on how many more self-centered people like yourself decide to bother me while I'm trying to do my job.

Washington Center: "Flagship 1234 delete speed restrictions on the TRUPS2 until WEEDU, maintain 300 knots."

Flagship: "Okay, delete the speeds, 300 knots."

Wash (tries again): "Flagship 1234 maintain 300 knots until WEEDU, then resume published speeds"

Flagship: "......okay..... 300 knots until you tell us otherwise..."

Wash: **banghead**