One of our instructors used to say "Flying is like watching a box of kittens, you can't fixate on one or the others will get out of the box." A bunch of the rest of us picked it up. We were taking part in a Young Eagles event. We were letting the kids do the taxiing. The tower guys were great, sending us to an empty patch of ramp where we could shut down and have the kids switch places. This particular instructor was on her way back to the runway when the kid in her airplane made a wrong turn. The tower called her on it and she replied "Correcting sir. One of my kittens got out of the box."

 

An FO called in to maintenance to report a bird strke .....

FO: We had a bird strike on (landing/take-off, dont remember) on the left wing.

Mx Controller: Ok, which area of the wing (root, toward the tip, etc ....)

FO: Um ... on the leading edge.

 

I was instructing in central Florida, when a frog suddenly appeared from atop the instrument panel and sat face to face with my student (who then freaked out). I told my student to maintain control of the aircraft. All the way back to the airport, he kept lurching and flinching in fear of the frog facing him at eye level. I told him he was training to be a career pilot, and he should be able to land a C172 with a frog staring at him. The frog hopped back and forth above the instrument panel, and hopped onto my shoulder on short final.
After we landed and tower told us to switch to ground, I called ground:

Me: Cessna 12345 clear of 27. Request taxi back to active for full stop taxi backs. First we would like go the the Echo runup pad and let out a frog that is jumping around the cockpit.
Ground: Cessna 12345 turn left on alpha and taxi to ... uh, what was your request?
Me: Sir, there is a frog jumping around our cabin. We would like to shut down at the Echo pad and let him out, then return to 27 for pattern work.
Ground: Cleared to the Echo pad to set your frog free then taxi to 27 and call tower when ready.

 

oops, no image

 

I was at TYS the other day, dialing in ATIS and Clearance while still on Ground from taxiing in. A King Air also parked at the FBO started up and called for Taxi. It went something like this: "Ground this is King Air XXXXX ready to taxi with Kilo at....at....Oh I don't know where we are!"
(Other pilot): "We're at TAC Air, ready to taxi!"

Nice to see that everyone is human.

 

Being based in El Paso our charter has Coyote as its callsign.

Checking in with center on our last trip:
US: ABQ Center, Coyote 540, FL410
Unknown: Meep-Meep

 

lol

not as bad as having a wasp buzzing you in a 152 ,which just refued to go out the window. that was probably the smooothest landing i have made because i was trying not to agitate the already ****ed off wasp.

 

NW checks in on the freq - female center controller - NW - 123 - FL XX - Female answers - - roger - F/O replies "The Captain would like to know what you look like " - pause - for a few seconds - " a librarian " OK

 

Tonight in IAH, where LAHSO was going on on 26L, hold short NE at the far end of 26L:

Barbie Jet, after taxiing across 26L on NE: "Tower, what are these lights near the end of 26L?"

IAH Tower (no hesitation): "We're not sure, but we think those might just be the LAHSO lights. I'll have someone look into it."

The barbie jet replied with something so mindlessly idiotic it's not even worth repeating here. Something about an Elvis sighting.

I can only hope that it was a shiny new FO who took it upon himself to key the mic before asking the captain. If neither of the guys driving that plane knew what those lights were, we might have problems.

 

The other night in Dallas:

Delta Flight: Wind Check?
Tower: 160/15

Without skipping a beat an eagle flight responds.

Eagle Flight: Dewpoint Check?

Tower pauses for a moment to check the ATIS. When he responds he doesn't even pause between sentences.

Tower: Dewpoint 21, Eagle Flight XXXX cleared to land 17C.