I've got two....

Cessna 152: "Approach....I'd like to...a.... I'm 10 miles north and would like to fly through your airspace to the south"

Approach: "Cessna 152 squawk 1234 and maintain VFR at 4500"

Cessan 152: "ok....squawk 4500 and stay at 1200?"

Approach: "Cessna 152 negative, squawk 1234 and maintain VFR at 4500"

Cessna 152: "ok....stay up here and squawk that for you"

Approach: "Cessna 152 for traffic turn left 150"

Cessna 152: "I'm turning left to 1...what was that heading?"

Approach: "Cessna 152 are you a student pilot, and if so is your instructor with you?"

Cessna 152: "Yes I'm a student pilot and my instructor isn't with me...I'm on my first solo"

Approach: "Cessna 152 I think you need to land and pick him up"



And....


A controller is jumping on everyone...very short and really cutting everyone down....biting their heads off.

After a few minutes of scaring everyone into not wanting to key up a very calm and senior airline voice comes on the radio and says...."She sounds alot like my ex wife"

After a long silance, and many clicks on the radio, the controller comes back on and says in a friendly and appologetic giggling voice "I was wondering where you've been"

 

Last Week:

Atlanta Center: "Be advised parachute jumping over XYZ, 12,000...and...uh...below of course."

 

ATC: "United 1234 cleared direct Boone intersection, like Daniel Boone"
United 1234: "Okay then, directly to Daniel Boone"

 

Today on NY app., someone comes on and asks if there is a Rutgers games, ny replies that this is not sports center, the pilot answers, no no i want to know if there are any TFRS (flight restrictions in that area), the controler says standby let me look, i quickly come back and say ny 43D, as a proud alumni I can for sure say there is no Rutgers game, if there were I would not be working, next game is next sat at 330pm against texas southern, controller quickly replies to the guy, no rutgers games, in the future ask the sussex skydive pilots if the rutgers alumni is working

 

another good one, I am flying Jumpers last week, completely clear day, with ONE small cotton ball cloud, I see a G4 about 1K below me going to KTEB, which is normal, as he is coming by, I get traffic call, and say in sight, the guy gets the traffic call right as he goes in this TINY COTTON BALL CLOUD, the only one in 100 miles, and replies IMC

 

Flying to some airport in Southern Cali (can't remember the name) but heard ATC says this to another aircraft.

"Expect vectors to hector from the next sector."

 

I was flying a long B52 mission with a military crew and one member was a woman/girl. It was her first long ride and she couldn't hold it any longer. We had only the "honey Pot" to go to the bathroom in and it was in a box surrounded by a zip curtain. She went to the back of the airlplane and after fiddling with it for 5 minutes she plugged into the interphone system (so she thought) and requested help from the Captain. In a sweet young voice she said "Pilot, I can't seem to get this zipper undone. Pilot, I just can't get low enough to unzip it, can you help me." Unfortunately, she plugged into the radio #1, the center Frequency. After a long, long radio silence on center frequency, Center relunctantly chimed in and said "I don't know what's going on up there, but turn to heading 360."

 

hahaha that made my day

 

ATC to student pilot in 172.


ATC: Cessna *** did you just take off on that taxiway?

Pilot: Uhhh, would you beleive me if i said no?

ATC: *laugh* No sir i would not please return to land and be ready to copy this number.


I was next to take off so i dont know what happend when he landed.

 

Recently heard on Ground Freq at NAF El Centro (KNJK):

KNJK: Hornet parked the wrong way in the fuel pits...I know you can hear me"
- chirp - chirp - chirp -

USMCFLYR