I've just finished reading this entire thread. It took me nearly a week, reading a few pages every day.

As funny as this stuff is, I'm a quite new student and its also extremely educational to see what works, what doesn't, and what you can get away with! There's also at least a few radio-conversations I don't get yet... clearly more to learn.

As this thread approaches 4 years, here's to hoping for another 4 years and and 90 pages of wit!

My personal best so far:
After landing with no guidance from instructor, and feeling quite full of my self, I pulled off first available, and made the call:
"Cessna 52139, to taxi to Wings Aloft at.... ****, where the hell am i?"

Instructor cracked up... then finished my call. I was at Alpha-5.

-Aaron
KBFI, 172s

 

A day at Chicago Ohare (ORD)

Ground repeating taxi instructions to a Korean Air 747, and getting frustrated! After repeated repeats...

Cntroller "...Alright everyone on taxiway A watch out for the Light Blue Korean Air 747! I have NO IDEA where he is going!"

 

Nice - interesting...I soloed in 52139 - good to see it's still around!!

 

Well, kind of had to be there, but fun anyway:

Student: "Daytona tower at 1800 feet"

*silence....*

Student: I mean! Daytona tower, N-XXX at 1800 feet

Tower (with lots of laughter in the background): N-XXX roger, continue for 7L (barely holding it together)

 

Not so much funny, but amusing anyway:

Last week, approaching Houston, with storms covering DAS and surrounding area. In other words, it was any given summer day. Everyone is asking for deviations, controllers and pilots alike are stressed.

We were below an Air France 777 on the same arrival, being overtaken slowly by the heavy, but on different frequencies.

App: Colgan, turn left heading 180.
Us: Unable due to weather.
App: Ok, then expedite down to 3 thousand, Air France turned without telling us.
Us: Expedite to 3 thousand.

Shortly thereafter, we see a windscreen full of 777 turning across our path at our previous altitude.

A few minutes later, after we joined the localizer for 26L, new controller:

App: Colgan, decend and maintain 2,000, Traffic that was supposed to overfly and go to 27 is joining 26L.

Us: 2,000...

App: It's Air France. I believe they've already tried to run you over once.

Us: Oui.

 

When was that you were at Elmira. I'm from troy, pa and starting out as a CFII in the area. Looking to start palying around with the gliders at ELM.

 

I just wanted to say that I have never laughed so hard at a transmission I've ever read. Def had tears in eyes and was in pain after. I wish I could meet that controller. Priceless! Thank you for that one!

 

10 planes stacked on the vor holding.

my dad told me this one, It was when they first started getting female controllers.

Center(female):American 1234 turn left 120
American 1234: Center say again, transmission is broken
Ceter calls another plane;
Center: United 1234, Is my transmission fuzzy?
United 1234: I dont know lady, how old are you.

 

I called ground on Friday night and requested VFR practice approaches. He told me to "remain at or below 1,500 ft and outside Bravo airspace until further advised, departure freq. 119.4, squawk 8262." I copied it down and read it back to the controller. He advised me that my readback was correct. As I was taxiing out to the runway, I tried to put my squawk code into my transponder and realized that it only goes up to the number seven. I called the controller back and asked him to read the squawk code again. He just started laughing and told me I passed the test and to squawk 5551. I guess they get bored up there!

 

Finally finished this thread after two weeks of reading every night. Cant wait to get out there and witness the craziness myself!