There's this one ground controller in BWI... a woman. When she's on clearance, she's fantastic, very nice, always says "and have a great day!"

When she's working ground, it's a disaster. She's always got the supervisor looking over her shoulder. At first I thought she was training, but this went on for MONTHS. Granted, I'm not in ATC and have no idea how long it takes to train for Ground.

So anyway, after calling and calling and calling for taxi and receiving no response, the other company plane chimes in and gets his clearance right away:

Ground: "Taxi P B N S to 15L"
Company reads it back and then we jump in:
"Ground, CAIR 123 ready to taxi behind company."
Ground: Roger, follow company to 15R."
Company: "Uhh... you want us to 15R now?

Hesitation

Ground: "Negative, CAIR 456, continue to 15L. CAIR 123 follow company to 15L.

Just as we're almost clear of the C intersection on P (it's a big one) she calls us.

Ground: CAIR 123, make that right turn on C, taxi RWY22 S to 15R."
Supervisor in the background: "LEFT!!! LEFT!!!"

I mean, that supervisor was SCREAMING! After a few seconds she came back on:
"CAIR, that's 15L"
"Roger"

I felt bad for her, but she just doesn't seem to get it. More than a few times the supervisor's actually taken her place on the radio to fix what she's done, then she'll come back on after a few transmissions.

But on Clearance, she's an all-star

 

Minneapolis ctr, we missed our destination airport by 150 miles, request vectors for immediate landing!

 

That story is hilarious to me. "Well we overshot our destination by 150 miles because we were in a heated argument about airline policy."

I think the guys should have just gone with the sleeping excuse They could complained about being "overworked."

 

(heard second hand)

On Halloween (yesterday), a local ATIS was broadcasting information "Dracula", read in a heavy Transylvanian accent.

 

Reminds me of LAF one time, a new voice was giving clearance, and it was something way way wrong, and in the background you hear a shouting voice "WHAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!" Seconds later the supervising control came over and fixed about 5 different clearances in 10 seconds and returned the helm to the trainee.

I was in SAF this weekend, and called for clearance. We waited patiently as the trainee stumbled over a simple "RV direct, maintain 16,000, blah blah" clearance. Kept going back to the 160, FL160, 16/16,000. Finally the super came over and cleaned it up. I thanked him with the readback and we went on our way. Gotta learn somehow, but it was good for the guy I was training to hear it also.

 

We were with to Cleveland center a few months ago, and he says, "Execjet 6XX, better tell the fat cats to put down their champagne, we have reports of light chop for the next 20 miles." We started cracking up. Told him we were empty that leg, but thanks for the heads up.

 

Just read all 90 pages - your tax dollars ar work.


On Thanksgiving day:
73M: Columbia Clearance, Happy Thanksgiving, 73M instruments to Grandma's, information tango.
Clearance: 73M cleared to Grandma's as filed climb maintain.................


Cessna N999T, a jump plane was hauling jumpers all day as the barometer started falling from 30.02 (30.01, 29.99). The jump pilot reported jumpers away and approach acknowledged with the new altimieter setting. The Cessna replied "Niner-Niner-Niner, Niner-Niner-Niner-Tango, been waiting to say that all day".

 

Transmitted by Binghamton, NY ground "All snow removal equipment with inoperative radios please remain clear of the active runway"
Heard taxiing in after going around due to snow plow in touchdown zone...

 

Cant remember if I read it in this thread or not

Cessna Nxxxx: Cessna Nxxxx heavy requesting blah blah blah
Tower: Why are you heavy?
Cessna Nxxxx: My fat *ss wife is onboard
Tower: (laughing) isnt she going to hear that?
Cessna Nxxxx: She's not wearing a headset

 

Again a few years back, and stolen from IFR magazine.

At night:

Plane: Ahhh, approach, we see a landing light ahead, do we have traffic?

App: Affirmative, Hale-Bobb Comet 12 o'clock, 6.8 million miles, traffic no factor.