The key word, moreso than "friend" is "pursuit," in my book. If she isn't even open to letting you pursue her through creative dating, then unfortunately, you probably are going to be in the "friend zone" for a while. Sounds like you made a good effort with this one by cooking her dinner, so it just might be time to move on...but who knows, I don't know your situation any better than you do. Good luck

 

Thanks Kansas, regardless of what happens with this girl, I'm gonna chalk it up to experience and learn and improve from it. I'm pretty young and this was the first time I've ever really tried doing anything like this with a girl. Just having it go well was a success(Mac and Cheese is a complicated meal for me, but I made stir fry go well), but I want more and that's keeping me motivated and in pursuit.

I've realized, that as pilots we like clear and concise indicators, i.e annunciator lights, any instrument in a cockpit, etc. Maybe that's why we have problems interpreting these more subtle signs?

 

There are not as many women on this board as there are men, so I'll give my 2 cents. Not that anything has ever stopped me before. Another caveat: my perspective comes from 20+ years of marriage to the same man.

HoboPilot, before posting this, I checked your profile and note that you are only 19 years old. Plenty of time to meet all kinds of people, not necessarily the one you will marry. I noticed that you use the term "girl" versus kansas' use of "woman." It's probably an age thing, but I know you will one day find yourself a good woman and only after winnowing through lots of girls first. Trust me that you will know when you finally meet her.

Learn from each encounter. Learn about girls/women. Learn about yourself along the way. Be interested in people. Stay self-confident. Be funny and charming. Continue to improve yourself. Be sensitive to the people and the world around you. Slow down. Have fun.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by vagabond

Trust me that you will know when you finally meet her.

This is so true. My eldest sister told me this after my divorce from my first wife. Guys...allow me to share me....with you!!

I asked God for someone who is, of course, African-American (AA); Bahamian descent; college grad; Episcopalian; and a member of one of the AA sororities. When I moved to Ft. Pierce from WPB, FL, 12 years after my divorce from my first wife, I was passing by some townhomes and pointed out to my business partner that I wouldn't mind living in this one particular unit where this development was located. Now....out of all of the townhome units in Ft. Pierce Florida that I could have chosen, I chose the one where an AA female, of Bahamian descent, who is a college grad w/two MS degrees, and who is a member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority and an Episcopalian to boot....lived; (btw.., I'm a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, Inc.), I KNEW.......BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT SHE WAS TO BE MY WIFE.


Go figure. What are odds???

Vagabond...you hit the nail right on the head with that statement!!! Kudos.


atp

 

mmmm Listen to these words of wisdom grasshopper.

Specially the Slow down and have fun part.

I jumped int he love/marriage boat way way way to fast. Got burned. But that is life. Live, Laugh, and most of all Love(thyself and thy neighbors)
And if all else fails, drink.

 

I like all of this.

ATP, I thought that I had high standards! The name of the game is to be yourself, improve yourself, and NEVER SETTLE.

 

kansas:

Hey...absolutely positively. You know as I've matured into a middle aged adult, I have dropped the facades of trying to have an answer for everything. Character, integrity, honesty, forgiving, listening, and loving are the traits that I hold fast to today in my relationship with my fiance, who btw, is my 2nd ex-wife. We're re-marrying on August 3rd...five years to the date we originally got married.

After we divorced back in 2005, I relocated to Naples, FL. The time we spent apart made me realize just how much I loved her and wanted her to be the mother of my children and someone who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was the same for her as well. We both realized that HE had given us our heart's desire in each other.



atp