Notices
Hangar Talk For non-aviation-related discussion and aviation threads that don't belong elsewhere

Tool of the day

Old 04-29-2012, 12:36 PM
  #771  
Runs with scissors
 
Timbo's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Dec 2009
Position: Going to hell in a bucket, but enjoying the ride .
Posts: 7,728
Default

Originally Posted by Sink r8 View Post
Great, now we need a re-run.

I'm still voting for the passenger conducting a sleep study and a geography lesson, at the same time.

That reminds me of a Tool I had to sit next to a long time ago. I went back to my 'rest seat' for first break on the way to Gatwick. There's a business man sitting next to me. He looks annoyed that I am there, because he's got to move his crap out of my seat I guess. So I make my bed and try to get comfortable. He's looking at me, like I'm nuts. Then he says, "Aren't you supposed to be up front, flying the airplane??"

So as nicely as I can, I try explain to him the concept of a 'relief pilot' and the fact that the FAA REQUIRES it on all flights over 8 hours.

He says, "Well, I work long days too. I usually work 10 hours a day, but I don't get to take a 3 hour nap in the middle of MY DAY!"

To end his Tool's rant, in as condecending voice as I can muster up, I loudly say, "Really? And if YOU make a mistake at YOUR JOB, because you've been UP ALL NIGHT, WITH NO SLEEP, how many people are going to DIE?"

That shut him up and I got some sleep.

Which reminds me of another F/C Business tool. When I was an engineer on the 727, I went back to get some coffee for the Capt. and there's a Tool standing in the galley, hitting on the (young, pretty) F/A. Well, I say, "Excuse me, but the Capt. would like some coffee..." as I try to squeeze past him. He looks at me like I'm the scum of the earth and says, "Why don't you just get back up there and do your Job!"

Well, I was a newb, so I bit my tounge, got the coffee and went back up front. I looked out the peep-hole and see the Tool is going into the F/C lav. I found and pulled the Lav Lights CB, and let him pee in the dark and re-think his comments to me.
Timbo is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 12:46 PM
  #772  
The Brown Dot +1
 
scambo1's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Jun 2009
Position: 777B
Posts: 7,775
Default

Originally Posted by flynwmn View Post
Crews that don't call inrange with multiple wheelchairs.

I send the message, but why? Its on the predeparture report. Did it change?

Its like the lav and cleaning checkboxes. Yeah, we just flew a 14 hour leg. The lavs are fine and the plane is ready to turn, just gas it up. Tool checkboxes.
scambo1 is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 12:56 PM
  #773  
Gets Weekends Off
 
flynwmn's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Dec 2007
Posts: 517
Default

Originally Posted by scambo1 View Post
I send the message, but why? Its on the predeparture report. Did it change?

Its like the lav and cleaning checkboxes. Yeah, we just flew a 14 hour leg. The lavs are fine and the plane is ready to turn, just gas it up. Tool checkboxes.
Premerger dl cx can't send Acars in range like pre merger nw can
flynwmn is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 01:22 PM
  #774  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined APC: Jul 2010
Position: window seat
Posts: 12,524
Default

Originally Posted by flynwmn View Post
Crews that don't call inrange with multiple wheelchairs.
Crews that call in range for anything while in the terminal area especially when its busy. I mean rly?
gloopy is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 02:05 PM
  #775  
On Reserve
 
Joined APC: Mar 2006
Posts: 21
Default

during the preflight briefing, had a Tool captain one day explain to me the cut on his finger is a "port of entry" so if I start bleeding I should inform him as he doesn't know my lifestyle....he was serious
8SugarSugar is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 02:22 PM
  #776  
Gets Weekends Off
 
hoserpilot's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Jan 2008
Position: maddoggy dog
Posts: 1,026
Default

Originally Posted by 8 Cherry Garcia View Post
My captain who acknowledged every clearance to land with a " roger, we have the nod to hit the sod!"........all 7 legs of a 3 day trip....

Annoying Tool
What about when you ding the flight attendants to get up? Here's a few I've heard.....

Ding......beavers off the bench.

Ding......the crack in back is doing the snack attack.

Ding......she means nothing to me.

Ding......she's up (male flight attendant)
hoserpilot is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 02:47 PM
  #777  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: Left seat of a little plane
Posts: 2,404
Default

Originally Posted by Sink r8 View Post
I noticed there are temporary tools, and tool places. Take, for example, the pit of dispair, the ATL crew lounge. You take a perfectly normal pilot, say a pilot that would acknowledge another pilot anywhere else in the world, and put them down there for, oh, five minutes... TOOL.

You can experience this by walking in quickly, before you yourself turn into a complete TOOL, and send out a little "hey, how you doing" to one of the tools walking around around like he has a broom up his [bleep!]. If they glare at you, full of indignation, you know they've been there long enough.

If they try desperately to avoid eye contact, like a sad depressed Goth teenager, or a feral cat, then you know you're in the DTW crew lounge.

If everyone is more tanned, and more friendly than you, and all they want to do is make eye contact with you, but ever so briefly, and then they immediately forget what they were doing, because someone else comes along, you're in LA.

If they do all of the above within the span of a microsecond, and then they want to hear more about that feral cat, then you're in a Flight Attendant lounge.
All true, but as for ATL, I would emphasize that is only the domestic lounge under A concourse. I never realized how gloomy and depressing the place was until I starting flying international a few years ago.

Typical international lounge conversation:

"Hey Jim, how's it going?"

"Headed off to Dublin. Where you headed?"

"Cool. Enjoy a Guinness or two for me. I headed to Buenos Aires."

"That's cool too. Have a great steak with some Malbec, and don't get too friendly with those hookers!"


Typical domestic lounge conversation (if there is one at all):

(Pilot on telephone, loudly): "Hey I thought that real estate deal was done last week!"

(Other pilot on other phone): "The S&P is down 2%? Sell it all."

(Third pilot to friend): "Hey let me tell you about my boat...and let me tell you about my kid who aced the SAT...and let me tell you about my business...ah heck, let me just tell you about me."

(Ten minutes later): "Oh, I forgot, anything going on in your life?"
Herkflyr is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 03:05 PM
  #778  
Gets Weekends Off
 
LineHolder's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Aug 2011
Posts: 167
Default

Originally Posted by gloopy View Post
Crews that call in range for anything while in the terminal area especially when its busy. I mean rly?
Yeah seriously. Our SOP's don't require an 'in range' call, but everyone still does.. A 10yr old w and iPad can tell where the flight is, how fast its going, how high, and when its going to land. You think ops doesn't know this? Plus wheelchair duty is not written anywhere; so don't bother me about it. Use the information channel that is specific for that kind of stuff
LineHolder is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 03:10 PM
  #779  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined APC: Sep 2007
Posts: 251
Default

Originally Posted by shoelu View Post
Anyone that ends ANY transmission with a long drawn out: "Seeeeee Yaaaa." These folks are definitely tools. Pilots do not have the market cornered, controllers have their fair share.
What if the controllers say it too? Are they tools as well. Count me in as one of those....SEEEEYYAAAAAAAAA!
EMB120IP is offline  
Old 04-29-2012, 03:13 PM
  #780  
Weekend and Holiday Pilot
 
Doug Masters's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Jan 2007
Position: Sippin' at the Troubadour
Posts: 1,141
Default

DH pilot who spills coffee on the hot college chick next to him while trying to act cool. Oops that was me... Fail
Doug Masters is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Elvis90
Military
2
11-11-2010 09:25 AM
meloveboeing
Regional
5
10-02-2010 07:47 AM
kc135driver
United
119
08-24-2010 08:30 AM
exerauflyboy5
Flight Schools and Training
15
02-18-2009 08:29 PM
Busdriver
JetBlue
70
01-16-2006 10:32 PM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Your Privacy Choices