Tool of the day
04-29-2012, 12:36 PM
#771
Runs with scissors
Joined APC: Dec 2009
Position: Going to hell in a bucket, but enjoying the ride .
Posts: 7,722
Originally Posted by Sink r8
Great, now we need a re-run.
I'm still voting for the passenger conducting a sleep study and a geography lesson, at the same time.
I'm still voting for the passenger conducting a sleep study and a geography lesson, at the same time.
That reminds me of a Tool I had to sit next to a long time ago. I went back to my 'rest seat' for first break on the way to Gatwick. There's a business man sitting next to me. He looks annoyed that I am there, because he's got to move his crap out of my seat I guess. So I make my bed and try to get comfortable. He's looking at me, like I'm nuts. Then he says, "Aren't you supposed to be up front, flying the airplane??"
So as nicely as I can, I try explain to him the concept of a 'relief pilot' and the fact that the FAA REQUIRES it on all flights over 8 hours.
He says, "Well, I work long days too. I usually work 10 hours a day, but I don't get to take a 3 hour nap in the middle of MY DAY!"
To end his Tool's rant, in as condecending voice as I can muster up, I loudly say, "Really? And if YOU make a mistake at YOUR JOB, because you've been UP ALL NIGHT, WITH NO SLEEP, how many people are going to DIE?"
That shut him up and I got some sleep.
Which reminds me of another F/C Business tool. When I was an engineer on the 727, I went back to get some coffee for the Capt. and there's a Tool standing in the galley, hitting on the (young, pretty) F/A. Well, I say, "Excuse me, but the Capt. would like some coffee..." as I try to squeeze past him. He looks at me like I'm the scum of the earth and says, "Why don't you just get back up there and do your Job!"
Well, I was a newb, so I bit my tounge, got the coffee and went back up front. I looked out the peep-hole and see the Tool is going into the F/C lav. I found and pulled the Lav Lights CB, and let him pee in the dark and re-think his comments to me.
04-29-2012, 12:46 PM
#772
The Brown Dot +1
Joined APC: Jun 2009
Position: 777B
Posts: 7,775
Originally Posted by flynwmn
Crews that don't call inrange with multiple wheelchairs.
I send the message, but why? Its on the predeparture report. Did it change?
Its like the lav and cleaning checkboxes. Yeah, we just flew a 14 hour leg. The lavs are fine and the plane is ready to turn, just gas it up. Tool checkboxes.
04-29-2012, 12:56 PM
#773
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Dec 2007
Posts: 516
Originally Posted by scambo1
I send the message, but why? Its on the predeparture report. Did it change?
Its like the lav and cleaning checkboxes. Yeah, we just flew a 14 hour leg. The lavs are fine and the plane is ready to turn, just gas it up. Tool checkboxes.
Its like the lav and cleaning checkboxes. Yeah, we just flew a 14 hour leg. The lavs are fine and the plane is ready to turn, just gas it up. Tool checkboxes.
04-29-2012, 02:22 PM
#776
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2008
Position: maddoggy dog
Posts: 1,026
Originally Posted by 8 Cherry Garcia
My captain who acknowledged every clearance to land with a " roger, we have the nod to hit the sod!"........all 7 legs of a 3 day trip....
Annoying Tool
Annoying Tool
Ding......beavers off the bench.
Ding......the crack in back is doing the snack attack.
Ding......she means nothing to me.
Ding......she's up (male flight attendant)
04-29-2012, 02:47 PM
#777
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: Left seat of a little plane
Posts: 2,397
Originally Posted by Sink r8
I noticed there are temporary tools, and tool places. Take, for example, the pit of dispair, the ATL crew lounge. You take a perfectly normal pilot, say a pilot that would acknowledge another pilot anywhere else in the world, and put them down there for, oh, five minutes... TOOL.
You can experience this by walking in quickly, before you yourself turn into a complete TOOL, and send out a little "hey, how you doing" to one of the tools walking around around like he has a broom up his [bleep!]. If they glare at you, full of indignation, you know they've been there long enough.
If they try desperately to avoid eye contact, like a sad depressed Goth teenager, or a feral cat, then you know you're in the DTW crew lounge.
If everyone is more tanned, and more friendly than you, and all they want to do is make eye contact with you, but ever so briefly, and then they immediately forget what they were doing, because someone else comes along, you're in LA.
If they do all of the above within the span of a microsecond, and then they want to hear more about that feral cat, then you're in a Flight Attendant lounge.
You can experience this by walking in quickly, before you yourself turn into a complete TOOL, and send out a little "hey, how you doing" to one of the tools walking around around like he has a broom up his [bleep!]. If they glare at you, full of indignation, you know they've been there long enough.
If they try desperately to avoid eye contact, like a sad depressed Goth teenager, or a feral cat, then you know you're in the DTW crew lounge.
If everyone is more tanned, and more friendly than you, and all they want to do is make eye contact with you, but ever so briefly, and then they immediately forget what they were doing, because someone else comes along, you're in LA.
If they do all of the above within the span of a microsecond, and then they want to hear more about that feral cat, then you're in a Flight Attendant lounge.
Typical international lounge conversation:
"Hey Jim, how's it going?"
"Headed off to Dublin. Where you headed?"
"Cool. Enjoy a Guinness or two for me. I headed to Buenos Aires."
"That's cool too. Have a great steak with some Malbec, and don't get too friendly with those hookers!"
Typical domestic lounge conversation (if there is one at all):
(Pilot on telephone, loudly): "Hey I thought that real estate deal was done last week!"
(Other pilot on other phone): "The S&P is down 2%? Sell it all."
(Third pilot to friend): "Hey let me tell you about my boat...and let me tell you about my kid who aced the SAT...and let me tell you about my business...ah heck, let me just tell you about me."
(Ten minutes later): "Oh, I forgot, anything going on in your life?"
04-29-2012, 03:05 PM
#778
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Aug 2011
Posts: 167
Originally Posted by gloopy
Crews that call in range for anything while in the terminal area especially when its busy. I mean rly?
04-29-2012, 03:10 PM
#779
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Sep 2007
Posts: 251
Originally Posted by shoelu
Anyone that ends ANY transmission with a long drawn out: "Seeeeee Yaaaa." These folks are definitely tools. Pilots do not have the market cornered, controllers have their fair share.
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