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Tool of the day

Old 04-30-2012, 09:39 AM
  #821  
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Originally Posted by Sink r8 View Post
I only tip 2 if their driving was smooth enough that I didn't have to think about it consciously. Guess I'm 1/2 of a Tool.

Ever notice that guy that's got a digital accelerator and brake pedal (1 or 0) in SFO?

$1.
Haha! Digital accelerator! That's funny. I think I know who you're talking about!
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Old 04-30-2012, 09:58 AM
  #822  
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Originally Posted by forgot to bid View Post
I swear someone on here said they were going to wear their Captain's stripes even after being displaced to the CO-pilot position, and if you have a problem with that pound sand.
Once I got displaced to a Captain qual FO for a while so I wore 4 on the right shoulder and 3 on the left. (I thought is was a cleaver joke but realized it was a tool move so I stopped.)
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Old 04-30-2012, 10:02 AM
  #823  
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Originally Posted by hvydvr View Post
We're at cruise on a beautiful day. Copilot reaches up and flips on the windshield wiper for his side. It immediately floats up off the glass and then departs the aircraft. I asked him what the heck he was doing and he responded that he wanted to see if it worked this high. I told him to assume that the other one would function in the same fashion at our current speed and that he should get busy on the dropped object report.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH That made my day, mostly because I always feel that inner burning desire to do this.
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Old 04-30-2012, 10:31 AM
  #824  
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I flew with a Captain displaced to FO for the first month he was a FO again.

The first 3 days, he put all of his stuff on the left side of the cockpit and claimed he just couldn't remember he was a FO again. By the third day I'd just walk in and start pitching his "stuff" in the general direction of the right side of the aircraft.

This guy went to fly with another Captain and told a F/A that he was still a Captain and the company wanted him to covertly evaluate the actual Captain's performance. He got into hot water over that event.

Last edited by IA1125; 04-30-2012 at 11:05 AM. Reason: spelling
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Old 04-30-2012, 11:01 AM
  #825  
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A crew is waiting on the curb in front of the terminal. The captain and all the F/A's are yakking away on their cell phones, when one of them looks at the F/O and asks, "Did you call the hotel?"
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Old 04-30-2012, 11:08 AM
  #826  
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So whereas we have defined the definition of tool

And

Whereas we have cited multiple examples of toolishness

Be it resolved that we direct one another to end toolishness once and for all by leading by APC example.

My two examples.

Turboprop Captain at Brand X regional. FO is on food stamps trying to support a small family. FO has no cash for van driver. Rather than let him get branded a tool and ruin the fine reputation of turboprop pilots at brand X, I gave the van driver $2. One for me and one for him. This equated to just over 2 minutes of work for me. I think I could cover it.

Regional Jet Captain at Brand X. First Officer touts his 4 year ERAU degree from DAB as "far finer than what you'd find elsewhere", critiques my every move based on "the way he learned it". And all this while taxiing out of ORD. Next night, his leg, he's hand flying a very light -700 through a 180 degree turn back towards ORD. I retract the flaps for him without command before he can over speed them. At 275 knots at 3500 feet I ask if he'd like the autopilot. Since he's bent over the FMS I have to repeat the question. He responds no. At 290 knots I turn on the autopilot for him, set the speed to 250 knots, and am thankful that we had an unrestricted climb for the next 10,000 feet. He objects, I tell him to save it. At 10,000 feet with things safety under control I give him "the talk". He used the autopilot until 300' and made a nice landing in ORD. I'm sure he went on to become an upstanding furloughee and RJ Captain for brand Z.
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Old 04-30-2012, 11:55 AM
  #827  
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Originally Posted by Delta1067 View Post
Luv2Rotate has nominated quite a few people in this "tool" thread and now he finds himself unanimously being elected as tool of the year. Way to go "Bro"

Haha, that's classic!
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Old 04-30-2012, 03:33 PM
  #828  
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Wingtips,

That "inner burning desire" is best left on the inside. Trust me. No, really, take my word for it!
Etiquet question: when disconnecting the autopilot is it okay to say "hold my beer, watch this!"?
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Old 04-30-2012, 04:06 PM
  #829  
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Originally Posted by hvydvr View Post
We're at cruise on a beautiful day. Copilot reaches up and flips on the windshield wiper for his side. It immediately floats up off the glass and then departs the aircraft. I asked him what the heck he was doing and he responded that he wanted to see if it worked this high. I told him to assume that the other one would function in the same fashion at our current speed and that he should get busy on the dropped object report.
The ERJ has a limitation of 170 KIAS Max for wiper operation. There's a story in my company of a new FO in cruise reaching up to do the exact same thing. The wiper thankfully remained with the airplane. The Captain queried what he was doing and his response was, "Just testing the logic of the system." Apparently he fell asleep when they went over that in ground school. There is no logic with the windshield wipers. It's one of the few switches on the airplane that ACTUALLY DOES something. Apparently there was no logic in the FO, either.
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Old 04-30-2012, 04:26 PM
  #830  
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Unless the company gives me test pilot pay, I go by the book.
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