Your favorite recliner at home has a white trash bag attached to the arm...

if pax with the private says on the way out "Did we land or get shot down?"

.... if you go to India to work to avoid cheap labor.

.... if a simple commute to work is considered a direct flight in the same time zone.

.... Biscofts, granola bar and coke is fullfilling meal.

And I thought it was just ME... :D best one of all dude.....

When you cover the remote with the bag for ice because you know you're not the first to give yourself a "stranger" then watch TV

You might be an Airline Pilot...when ordering food at McDonald's in the terminal, you realize the manager bagging your Big Mac makes more money than you..

When you think there should be a crew discount at every store, or establishment that you patron.

If on your resume' under Education you can include the term academy and I'm not talking service academy or police academy either.;)

Haha no kidding. When I (very unfortunately) go to a McDonalds outside of an airport, and my price is rung up, I always have to catch myself from saying "errm, you get my discount on that?"

Wouldn't the "clean" hand be on the remote? :D

Spectravision is a wonderful thing - or so I'm told.

You place your hands underneath the sink at home and/or other places besides the airport and expect water to come out automatically.

You turn on the TV at home and expect to hear "Traveling with the kids? Put your mind at ease." or "Variety is the spice of life"

You subconsciously time the distance from your room to the hotel lobby so you know the latest possible time you can leave your room and make van time without ugly looks!

When you get home you check your shower and closet for uninvited guests :D

"stay home and watch a movie! Press menu now"

lol I can recite that stupid thing. I always try to change the channel really really fast so that I don't have to hear it because its so annoying, And WHY does it have to automatically turn on at a ridiculous volume?

Reminds me of a story...

An airline pilot takes his young daughter to the grocery store for the first time. They go down the household goods isle and she exclaims, " Oh look Daddy, giant soaps!"

Bot;)

You are tired of answering the " what route do you fly " question.

My standard answer.

"Kansas City"

You might be a Pax Airline Pilot If:

The cargo speaks.

Carl

Your entire closet has wheels and a pull handle.

Carl

Nice!
 

This one is near and dear to my heart. Nothing like hearing this through the wall from the room next door when you've got a 4am van report on the East Coast.:p

You know you are an Airline Pilot when you don't tell any stranger at the bar you are an Airline Pilot, but have a 'back up' job in your head that has no follow up questions. Example:

Girl at the bar: "So, what do you do for a living?"
Me: "I work for Ringling Brothers Circus. I'm a laborer"
Girl: "Oh, that's........nice"

I am a Walmart greater.

Train engineer...

Or, when you're DHing or commuting in your monkey suit -- and you didn't get your iPod earbuds in and your eyes closed fast enough -- you also have a plan to quickly end any conversation with a gabby pax:

Pax: "What's your route? Have you ever been scared in an airplane? How does it feel to be responsible for all those lives? I was on this flight once, and I swear this pilot didn't know what he was doing, because..."

You: "Actually, I'm only a part-time pilot. My full time job is selling life insurance. By the way, have you reviewed your life insurance policy lately?"

You'll ride in peace for the rest of the flight.

My flight and I used Sea World Dolphin Trainers once :)

USMCFLYR

I just pin on my name tag:

Hugh G. Rection

Carl

Used car sales or amateur bowler, but I'm working on semi pro status.

Tell people all the time I'm a "heavy equipment operator". Not entirely inaccurate.

GJ

I think I've found the only pilots in the world who don't love to talk about themselves.

I'm appalled! This is the only thread is history that has remained on topic for over 11 pages!

One of my buddies said he trained the star fish at Sea World. It's amazing how many gullible people there are.

I'll take this as tactile permission to use your friend's approach and change my story for future use ;)

USMCFLYR

on your drive home you try to get your car to your last rotate speed.

I liked using the "I paint the lines on the road"

Ping Pong equipment salesman.

Just trying to avoid the "what route do you fly?", "your airline lost my aunts luggage.." "have you ever had anything bad happen?" "Have you ever seen a UFO?"

That kind of B.S. that you get asked or commented to multiple thousands of times a year.

Exactly. My bar time is precious, and I'll be damned if some cubicle drone is gonna ruin it for me.

I drive the city bus, let me introduce myself, Kramden, Ralph Kramden. Please to meet ya.

Landscaping mulch salesman.

In full uniform sitting next to other crewmembers, "I'm a computer operator."