"The seatbelt sign is off. Please feel free to get up and move about the cabin. If you can find anywhere to go."

"Well folks for those of you on the right side of the aircraft you can see the grand canyon, and don't worry for you folks on the left side in about 30 seconds we are going to roll the airplane upside down so you can enjoy the view of the grand canyon also, we will be landing in Salt lake in about 25 minutes" that's always a fun one

"Well folks welcome aboard our flight to Austin, Austin Massachusetts," Usually at least one person per flight gets the suttle "Road Trip" the movie reference.

Have a bud who uses this one..."I want to thank you for flying XXX where, correct destination, on time, and with your bags, pick two of three is our goal"

If there is a dead heading crew in the back: "...and some of you may notice a couple of crew members in the back, they're there to answer any of your aviation related questions."

After going around due to ATC instruction...make a PA and say that you got a cockpit indication that somone had just turned on their cell phone, please point out this individual to the FA...there will be a lot of finger pointing going on HAHA.

"Folks, welcome to (Insert southern city here)! Be sure to congratulate our FA- today is her last day with the airline- she's leaving to begin her career as a NASCAR driver. For those of you interested in racing, she'll be making an appearance next weekend at the Downtown Auto Zone. Be sure to ask her about it as you deplane!"

I've used this one a bunch

When I know the flight is kinda empty, i usually tell the folks, "If you don't really care about the person you're seated next to, now it's time to change your seat before we leave the gate." Usually get a few chuckles from the old couples.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to go ahead and turn off the fasten seatbelt sign, the captain says I'm doing really well for my first time flying a plane..."

Thats Freakin Awesome!!!!!!