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FmrFreightDog 01-10-2012 04:08 PM

Stay classy, Harvey....

Photos: Accused Tree Poisoner Harvey Updyke Spotted In New Orleans | IMAGE CPR?

Douche bag.

Carl Spackler 01-10-2012 04:10 PM


Originally Posted by forgot to bid (Post 1114933)
THERE WAS A DEMON
THAT LIVED IN THE AIR.

http://cdn-www.airliners.net/aviatio.../5/2020599.jpg

THEY SAID WHOEVER
CHALLENGED IT WOULD DIE.

THEIR KEYBOARDS
WOULD FREEZE UP,

THEIR CRITICAL THINKING
WOULD BUFFET WILDLY,

AND THEIR ARGUMENTS
WOULD DISINTEGRATE.

WHERE THE COMMITTEES COULD NO LONGER
MOVE OUT OF THE WAY.

THE DEMON LIVED BEHIND A BARRIER

THROUGH WHICH THEY SAID
NO MAN HELL BENT ON CHANGE COULD EVER PASS.

THEY CALLED IT
DALPA.

SO THEY BUILT A 747
FOR CARL SPACKLER TO FLY

WE MERGED WITH HIM

TO TRY AND BREAK
THROUGH DALPA.

MEN CAME TO THE FORUM
TO CHEW HIM OUT.

HE CALLED THEM
DALPOIDS OR SOMETHING.

WASH, RENSE, REPEAT.
OH WELL, I TRIED TO MAKE A FUNNY.

Funny stuff man, thanks! Great picture too.

Carl

Carl Spackler 01-10-2012 04:22 PM


Originally Posted by Brocc15 (Post 1115118)
I never said I was offended, I said embarrassed :) I have no problem with them when there are not other people around. These pictures you posted here I wouldn't be embarrassed if other people were around. They look like nice photography to me.

Cool. How about this one?






Carl

forgot to bid 01-10-2012 04:54 PM


Originally Posted by FmrFreightDog (Post 1115191)

Remember this?


March 7, 2002
UGA Fan Banned From UGA Games After Security Breach Shuts Atlanta Airport Down



JONESBORO, Ga. -- There'll be no cheering in the stands at Georgia football games this fall for a fan who dashed past security guards to catch a flight to a game, shutting down the Atlanta airport for four hours.
Michael Lasseter, 33, was sentenced to five weekends or 10 days in jail and 500 hours of community service Wednesday after pleading guilty to misdemeanor trespassing. The judge also barred him from attending Georgia games.
"I made a mistake, and my family and I have suffered greatly for it," Lasseter said in court. "I'm here today to accept responsibility for my actions and the response from the court."
Lasseter was trying to catch a flight to a Georgia game in Mississippi on Nov. 16 when he ran past guards and down an "up" escalator.
Thousands of passengers had to be rescreened after the airport was evacuated. Flights were canceled, causing delays for fliers across the nation.
Lasseter told police he had left the airport's secure area to retrieve a camera bag and was rushing to get back to his son at the gate.
Three other criminal charges were dropped in exchange for the guilty plea.
"I wish you well," Judge Morris Braswell told Lasseter. "I don't anticipate seeing you again."
Also Wednesday, AirTran Airways said it had settled a $100,000 civil suit filed against Lasseter. Terms were not disclosed but airline spokesman Tad Hutcheson called it a "very modest" payment.
The Federal Aviation Administration has also fined Lasseter $3,300.

Hopefully the judge will give Mr. Updyke a similar sentence concerning Alabama football. What makes me irritated was that people wanted their pics with him.

http://media.al.com/alphotos/photo/2...6866-large.jpg

But I talked to Satch (Bama alumn/fan) a while back, he was wanting to give Auburn oak trees from a family farm. It gives me hope that when these trees die, supposedly soon, that the remedy is far more a combined effort of Auburn and Alabama. Never forget 100,000+ and probably 95,000+ Alabama fans walked out of Bryant-Denny stadium and did nothing after the Cam Back. it was the one idiot who took offense to Cam's jersey being taped to a statue of Bear that he drove down from Dadeville and poisoned trees with no regard to how that could have seeped into the water supply of an entire city and county.

So here's to hoping that soon we will oust Updyke and that other dyke Finebaum and have a bit of peace in how they're replaced. There has been some of that but it goes unreported because people who "supposedly tire of their 15 minutes of fame" still seek it out.

The state had both it's major programs when back-to-back-to-back BCS national titles. 3 years in a row the winner of the Iron Bowl won the BCS.

So congratulations Bama, still wish the stadium had imploded :D but congrats anyways... and LSU, what the hell?

FmrFreightDog 01-10-2012 04:54 PM


Originally Posted by dragon (Post 1115112)
Wish I had listened to one of my mentors: Don't buy when you can rent.

He also said the cure to a woman's sex drive is ----- Wedding Cake!

Reminds me of the old joke, "Ever wonder why the bride is smiling so wide when she's walking down the aisle?"

forgot to bid 01-10-2012 05:07 PM


Originally Posted by FmrFreightDog (Post 1115213)
Reminds me of the old joke, "Ever wonder why the bride is smiling so wide when she's walking down the aisle?"

Reminds me of this:


Fox News
01OCT2003

Dr Laura: Wives, give "it" up


Husbands need sex, and it's a wife's job to provide it - as much as he wants, whenever he wants it. So contends Dr. Laura Schlessinger
(search) - better known as Dr. Laura, the ever-provocative radio-show shrink - in "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands."


In a galley of her book, coming out in January, Schlessinger describes what she calls "loving obligation" - that is, a spouse's duty to do something whether or not he or she feels like it.


If husbands are expected to "go to work and earn money" and visit relatives they don't like, she argues, why can't their wives put out on demand?


She also describes other ways a woman can make her marriage flourish: by making her husband her No. 1 priority; by not nagging, nitpicking or whining ("Be honest, girls, this is what we do") and by seeing her husband for what he is: "a gift from God," and respecting him accordingly.


This may all be very well, coming as it does from a married, conservative, 56-year-old with a Ph.D in physiology, but some therapists aren't buying her major thesis: that it's men who are starved for sex.


"In most marriages, it's the wife who wants sex, and the husband who doesn't," says Frederick Woolverton, a clinical psychologist and director of the Village Institute for Psychotherapy.


"Dating and honeymoons are all about sex. Marriage is all about intimacy. Men have affairs because they're afraid of intimacy."
It's true that sex is an essential part of marriage, Woolverton says, adding, "It's the women who are complaining."


Marcella Bakur Wiener, a clinical psychologist who has counseled couples for 30 years, agrees that the notion of the sex-starved husband is a generalization.


"Some men are insatiable, but so are some women," she says.
But no matter who needs it, she says, sex should never be something that's supplied on demand.


"There are so many things we already 'have to do' in life," Wiener sighs. "Why should there be a 'have to' in an intimate relationship?"
Yet another therapist sees Schlessinger's point - sort of.


Diana Adile Kirschner, a couples therapist, believes husbands and wives should meet each other's needs as long as it's not "a one-way deal."


"In the couples I see, the women want foreplay, romance, communication, which tends to open them up to being sexual," she says.


"When the man gets more sex, he feels more connected, and more like communicating. When a woman feels understood and romanced, she's more likely to feel more sexual."


Memo to Dr. Laura: Can "The Proper Care and Courtship of Wives" be far behind?



Now there. Who says this forum doesn't give you anything useful. Sorry I didn't get this posted before Christmas but Valentines Day is right around the corner... if you can make it.

------
Also...

How do you know who loves you more, your wife or your dog?

Here's how you tell, pick up your wife and dog and toss them in the trunk of your car. Close the trunk and wait about 2 hours.

Now, when you go back and open the trunk of the car guess who is going to be happy to see you?
-----

Justdoinmyjob 01-10-2012 05:33 PM


Originally Posted by tsquare (Post 1114956)
I thought he was dead.

He's gonna kill the next man who says that to him!
http://opinionatedalex.files.wordpre...e-plissken.jpg

boog123 01-10-2012 05:45 PM


Originally Posted by FmrFreightDog (Post 1115213)
Reminds me of the old joke, "Ever wonder why the bride is smiling so wide when she's walking down the aisle?"

or the follow on, Why is the groom smiling?????? He doesn't know yet!

Justdoinmyjob 01-10-2012 05:53 PM


Originally Posted by Herman (Post 1115107)
Ok fellas, I've been home since December 27th... and it's not going well. For the love of God, man! Could somebody help me out? The wife asked if she could start a blog and I said "sure Honey", thinking it would get her off my a$$. Turns out it is an online Manifesto about what an idiot she thinks I am. In 48 hours, she's had 200+ views, from 6 countries. So, my Delta Bros, log on. Subscribe. Share it with your wives. Maybe, just maybe, it will save one of you from the wrath I face on a daily basis. Oh, and by the way Ferd, I'm outta' beer. angrypilotwife


Hey, at least you know how to get outta trouble. One question though, was the log really 80 pounds and on fire? Dude, I had to laugh at that one. My wife almost caught me and then she would have wanted to see what I was laughing about. There is no way in hell I'm letting her know that there is another who thinks like her out there!

hoserpilot 01-10-2012 06:04 PM

Herman,

My grumpy wife actually laughed today after reading your wife's blog. (-:

We should all have Herman's wife write our posts. She is much smarter, and a better writer than all us forumites.


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