Yes two kids about to be 11 & 13. $2500 Child Support and $2500 Spousal Support, the kicker is after the kids are both 18 the Mx jumps to $4000/mo until she hits retirement age Dec 31st 2035. Do the Math, it's almost $1M after tax income over 16 years. I was only Married 20 and 2 mo. I feel I have to start a state or national advocacy group or something to start getting some politicians to listen. The new 2018 Tax law made Spousal Support a direct tax free payment also, so you can not deduct the payments. So your tax bracket is higher, and hers is lower which makes a $5K payment more like $8K!

We're talking about a woman who makes $125,000 a year also. She is not destitute; she has a bachelors degree, and can make her own money. In addition she took an equivalent $1.25M worth or value from our equity and my retirements/accounts. I have to say that the system is rigged. We are an easy target because we have a contract that spells out everything we have and will have. She actually tried to go after my sick bank account as a value (didn't get it) too as it has a retirement value if it's full. I now understand why a less stable person can go crazy and buzerk!

My advice to any man is if you know you can't stand your spouse anymore and will inevitably get divorced get out ASAP especially if it's under 10 years (military retirement exposure after that)! The longer you wait the more you will pay! Once my marriage hit the 'long term" range I was screwed for the rest of my life basically.

This should be covered in basic indoc...
If your marriage is somwhat questionable this job wont help. Get out now!

Uphill battle
 

Clearly, the Family Court system is skewed such that it disproportionately disenfranchises men for a proper, just, and fair settlement. Unfortunately, this factor creates demand for attorneys and their services in an attempt to defend, on one side, and attack on the other. This demand creates wealth for those involved in family law. It also creates conflict (and sometimes violence) for those affected (male, female, children, relatives). However, the uphill battle involves petitioning a legislative body, primarily made up of attorneys, to rewrite laws that would reduce conflict and thereby reduce demand (wealth) for their services. Anything is possible, but the effort to remedy this injustice will not be a small effort.

Flaps50, I just have to say sorry to a brother. That SUCKS! I have had dreams about someone undeserving stealing my loot. Despite what I have been told, in my mind, I'm an ugly mofo that has never seemed to be visible to women. I guess with this job, that could be considered a blessing in disguise! Keep your head up. Things will get better.

Sorry to the guys getting screwed in court. I hate the idea of permanent alimony. It says that this grown ass adult is incapable of taking care of themselves as an adult, therefore you are financially responsible to do it for them.

Temporary alimony, okay. I can see that. A mother stays at home for _____ years taking care of kids. Gives up job temporarily for the family. A couple years of alimony till they get back in the swing of things is fair. But after a couple years, you're an adult, take care of yourself.

I paid a lot but it was only for four years. That was after 15 years, 2 kids and a (at the time) non-working spouse. Alimony is supposed to be rehabilitative not a never-ending handout. Mine was paid out under the previous tax rules (thank god). This change in taxation is outrageous. You got hosed, pure and simple. Was that a bench decree or mediated outside of court?


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Very sorry to hear about this. It is an absolute travesty and I've seen it happen not only to men but successful women as well. Common denominator is who is the maximum bread winner but your situation is ridiculous, not that it makes you feel any better. Unfortunately, not much you can do now. Below is my PSA and not anything you necessarily did or meant to reflect on your situation.

The single​ greatest asset you have is a great lawyer and I preach it to anyone who opens that Pandora's box with me. Under 25 years of marriage should ONLY be rehabilitative alimony nowadays. Period. A great lawyer WILL BE EXPENSIVE.

For those contemplating divorce do you homework, get a great lawyer, and fight the fight like never before. Again, It will be expensive BUT sooooooooooooooo worth it. I do not subscribe to that happy wife, happy life crap. It is a team and if you don't want to be a part of the team, get your crap and get out. But not with my money.

Besides, at least you know you put your lawyers kid through college instead of giving $$$ to your ex. You will recover and hopefully learn from the mistakes of the past and find a successful relationship in the future.

Rant over.

An old Judge handed that to me. I would not have agreed to that BS!

Hire some non BillyBob from out of state. All the Judges and lawyers know each other. Its an inbred occupation.

I used Miles Mason (not sure if he's still practicing). Highly recommend. I was being taken for a ride by the ex, until I shelled out the $$ for a good lawyer.

Tennessee is brutal to divorce in for a sole bread winner in the family.