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-   -   Tool of the day (https://www.airlinepilotforums.com/hangar-talk/66729-tool-day.html)

80ktsClamp 04-22-2012 08:04 PM


Originally Posted by johnso29 (Post 1174180)
Wow. Guess slats or even vortillons could've helped there. :rolleyes:

or airmanship. :)

cactusmike 04-22-2012 09:50 PM

Me to brand new to the airbus f/o after he sets the FCU altitude to below airport elevation and uses v/s at 3400'/min to high dive in. "that's not a really good idea, that's how airbus jets crash" Him, "well, I wouldn't have done it in the 737". Me, "then don't do it in the airbus". Same f/o going into LAS goes into TOGA for a RA that had us climb at 300 feet per minute. It was a really long Saturday.

Tool status comes from the fact that he insisted he was right.

cubguy 04-23-2012 02:19 AM

The controller who repeatedly tells everyone to check for a stuck mike oblivious to the fact that the ONLY aircraft that can't hear him is the one with the stuck mike!

DeadHead 04-23-2012 03:31 AM


Originally Posted by acl65pilot (Post 1174067)
Agreed. I hate it when guys or gals give a clearance to someone. Two thumbs down to that.


Originally Posted by buzzpat (Post 1174119)
I've never heard that in 30 years of flying. If there are guys doing it, they should be shot. I'm talking about the guys who immediately leap onto guard to verbally beat down someone who simply didn't flip the switch. Or flipped the switch incorrectly. Everybody makes mistakes and 99% of us are smart enough to figure it out about 5 seconds after we dork it up.


I hear guys do that every few months or so. I've never heard anyone try and impersonate ATC, that would be way beyond the line.
When I hear clearances into the ramp being given on guard I'll usually say something, or if they made at least 3 calls and can't realize why no one is answering.

Heard a guard Nazi last week chime in, not even after 3 secs;
"Your on Guard, Tard"
If only guys put in as much time and energy into not being an a-hole, as they do coming up with jokes.....if only.

forgot to bid 04-23-2012 04:10 AM

is it possible that the guard police is actually small airport ATC, fss or mil tower and not always pilots?

BlueMoon 04-23-2012 05:05 AM


Originally Posted by forgot to bid (Post 1174252)
is it possible that the guard police is actually small airport ATC, fss or mil tower and not always pilots?

I hadn't thought about that. Probably a pretty good possibility.

I always thought a perfect job would be a contract ATC job at a place like Helena, Missoula, or Kalispel. Not a whole lot of traffic, no radar, and simple clearances.

I guess if you're bored enough you could police guard, but why not just come on to the internet forums and jerk with pilots by starting 10 Gojet threads or say "commuting is a choice".

I remember visiting the tower in BTL to deliver some mail that mistakingly came to our hanger (I was working line) and seeing the controller hurriedly hide the video chess window on his computer when I walked up the steps.

DeadHead 04-23-2012 05:13 AM


Originally Posted by Bucking Bar (Post 1174115)
Maybe I'm a tool then.

Story 1:

Flying a charter arriving Gainesville about 01:00 (tower not open). Some kid in a Cessna with an "ER" registration is trying to get "Tower" to clear him for take off back to Daytona Beach. Gainesville Radio came up on UNICOM once to tell him that Tower was closed. He asked them for takeoff clearance, which they refused, reminding him that they were Gainesville Radio. They gave up and stopped responding to him. Meanwhile, he's on the only lit runway and we would prefer not to take a charter to an alternate at 01:30. He is sort of in position about 1/3 down the active runway while having this conversation with no body. We're circling waiting for numbskull to clear the runway at this non towered airport. Finally, I cleared him to Daytona, "have a nice flight," and off he went to the East.

Story 2:

Flying along at 390 bored when I hear this corporate jet trying to call in range to some FBO on guard. Ignored it, until the pilot began pleading ...

"Hey Guys, come on, Mr. Smith gets really mad if his car isn't ready for him. We NEEED the Air Conditioning on and the drink ..."

I'm bored, so I reply, "say again instructions"

"Yeah, Mr. Smith requires the Black Mercedes be brought into the hangar, air conditioning on, diet coke in glass with ice, leave the trunk open..."


So I roger all of that ... "tell Mr. Smith we'll be ready for him"

"Thanks"

So, not sure I was helping, but at least things kept moving.

Don't think your a tool in those cases.
I think the guys who specifically go out of the way, eagerly waiting to mess with some one would qualify as a tool.

When there is an inordinate amount of Guard Nazis on frequency I like to pretend that I'm transmitting on guard without knowing it.

johnso29 04-23-2012 05:39 AM


Originally Posted by 80ktsClamp (Post 1174183)
or airmanship. :)

True. I just didn't want to say it. :D

johnso29 04-23-2012 05:43 AM


Originally Posted by cactusmike (Post 1174211)
Me to brand new to the airbus f/o after he sets the FCU altitude to below airport elevation and uses v/s at 3400'/min to high dive in. "that's not a really good idea, that's how airbus jets crash" Him, "well, I wouldn't have done it in the 737". Me, "then don't do it in the airbus". Same f/o going into LAS goes into TOGA for a RA that had us climb at 300 feet per minute. It was a really long Saturday.

Tool status comes from the fact that he insisted he was right.

Wow. A class in how NOT to fly an Airbus. :) Does Us Air teach the high energy visual in which you use open descent with everything hanging out? That's good for about 1000ft per mile. Sounds like someone needed some schooling. :)

Sink r8 04-23-2012 06:04 AM


Originally Posted by DeadHead (Post 1174064)
Only time I'll let someone know that their on guard is when they call ops or ramps and someone else answers them. Don't really see the need to screw with a fellow pilot like that.

As long as you don't use the tone of voice you would use if your puppy just ate your wife's favorite pair of shoes, you're not a tool. Tool voice + Guard Policing = full fledged tool.

A friendly heads-up is no problem.


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