I have been biting my tongue for a week and finally can’t sit and stew any longer. I’m still a low time pilot (1000+) but still hustling for steady work and happen to fly for an operation that drops idiots out of airplanes part time. This has started to interfere with some other work so I tell the brain dead boss to put out feelers for a new employee. As everyone knows in the aviation industry, it sucks being low time and trying to scrape for work. Low time pilots trying to further a career will do almost anything to get in an airplane, (I lived in a tent for 6 months) so I usually want to help others as I have received help and have greatly appreciated it. I get the word that my boss finds a local flying ace with a week old commercial single license and I am instructed to show him the ropes. I’m generally a pretty friendly guy and go through the typical, “what are your times, what have you worked on, etc” and I find out some disturbing information about this guy. He has some kind of business degree and owns his own plane, with seemingly no real goals of strapping on a larger airplane and doing any kind of commercial flying. This guy “just loves to fly” and is trying to find an office job. My question, why is he trying to fill a seat when clearly there are people chomping at the bit trying to build time? Do I train this guy or refuse?

I work in an Army tower and some guys love to pause our game of poker to yell at people on Guard.

If you really want to have some fun, next time you're on the tracks and you're board, or it's late and 30 west is coming up, just say these words on Guard:

"Yeah, we just got the ACARS message, Wow, and they just announced it on CNN..."

then stand by for action!

Now, I have personally never pulled this 'tool of the day' prank, but I've heard it done many times!

I still get a chuckle out of the tools who fall for it.

And that reminds me of one of my most favorite Tool stories. Remember that Icelandic Volcano a couple years ago? One tool gave a very nice, 5 minute long P/A about it, and the history of Volcanos, in Iceland, etc., all on Guard.

Guys, if you feel the need to wake the Pax up at 30W for some cool Pilot talk, at least be sure you pushed the right button before you open your pie hole. Still, the ribbing he took after that, also on Guard, was much nicer than what his own F/A's would have done to him, had he done it as a P/A, no doubt.

Aside from the innocent jokes, any type of Guard Policing is TOOL material. And unless someone is making a PA, or having conversations on guard, let the guy figure it out on his own. I promise, he will. Yelling "GUARD, GUARD, GUUUUAAARRD!" makes YOU look like a complete tool.
God forbid you make a radio call over the wrong frequency:rolleyes::cool:

Wyanrare you train the guy if that is what your boss is paying you to do. I try to help guys too, whether they want to become a pilot or not. You nor anyone else knows what the future holds. This guy may find out he loves to fly and tries to make it a career. Just my 2cents. Good luck!

"You're on Guard, dude, but that's cool"

or in your best Slingblade voice...

"We're both on Guard, unhh-huhhh"

Ah yes, the dreaded RJ wheelbarrow landing.

Works great on the bus too.

"Hi, I'd like to order another case of taxi lights please."

You’re probably right, I have a couple guys from my area that are looking for work, none of them were considered and this guy was never interviewed. What happened to the best guy for the job? I know it’s about who you know but after putting 4 years into this place and building relationships with everyone you want to leave knowing they will be taken care of, not in the hands of someone you don’t trust. It’s a unique situation and I probably shouldn’t have posted, it’s just aggravating.

How about the pax who is telling his buddy "how airplanes work". While boarding a 757, I overheard him say that you wouldn't want to lose both engines because "these things will fall out of the sky".

Or: while boarding my four-hour commute flight to go home, a lady is talking about how much she travels. Turns to me and says, "I probably do this more than you." Me, "Uhhh, no you don't"

Or: the tool captain "yeah, I'm easy going....just a couple of things". Followed by a list of hoops you have to jump through so his brain won't explode if you do it wrong.

And: I knew a flight instructor with the license plate "PILOT". He once walked into the instuctor's lounge where we were all chatting and said, "Ask me something I don't know". True story.

Also: the tool that poses an interesting question while at cruise. You take the bait. Then spends the rest of the trip trying to sell you on his pyramid scheme.

Man, I could go on and on. Love this thread

The occasional obnoxious passenger who leads off with his how many flying miles or what his Frequent Flier status is. I do appreciate you keeping me employed but that doesn't give you the right to be rude to the CSA's and FA's.