Tool of the day
12-01-2013, 07:36 AM
#4621
New Hire
Joined APC: May 2011
Position: Hot Seat
Posts: 4
Tool of the Day
Early am flight from YOW back to DTW, I'm half asleep and on my first cup of coffee in cruise. Suddenly the most god awful smell crawls around my newspaper, the Captain has decided to open a can of tuna fish and start eating it for breakfast at 6:30am...A little warning would have been nice.
Same guy had his passenger PA briefing printed and laminated on a card, it was the dorky-est thing I've ever heard. "Relax and prepare to be spoiled by FA-**** while we finish programming the various computers" Holy crap batman it's an RJ not the space shuttle.
I think there was a reward for anyone that could steal it from him.
More to follow
Early am flight from YOW back to DTW, I'm half asleep and on my first cup of coffee in cruise. Suddenly the most god awful smell crawls around my newspaper, the Captain has decided to open a can of tuna fish and start eating it for breakfast at 6:30am...A little warning would have been nice.
Same guy had his passenger PA briefing printed and laminated on a card, it was the dorky-est thing I've ever heard. "Relax and prepare to be spoiled by FA-**** while we finish programming the various computers" Holy crap batman it's an RJ not the space shuttle.
I think there was a reward for anyone that could steal it from him.
More to follow
12-01-2013, 07:55 AM
#4622
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jul 2010
Position: 7er
Posts: 1,673
Originally Posted by filejw
You would be hard pressed to see a gate house brief by 747 crew...One two min announcement after level off is about all you get till TOD..
12-01-2013, 08:28 AM
#4623
Bracing for Fallacies
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: In favor of good things, not in favor of bad things
Posts: 3,543
Originally Posted by Delta1067
That is all the passengers want. Nothing more annoying then PA's interrupting the IFE.
12-02-2013, 07:30 AM
#4624
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2010
Position: Representing the REAL Delta
Posts: 857
Ok, so I’m not really quantifying these actions as tool of the day but this particular crew did provide some true entertainment during our deadhead.
So we are flying on a Delta Shady 80 and the captain decides to give the life story of himself and the first officer from the front of the cabin. This included a through review of their military careers as well as 50 years and 15,000 hours of combined flight experience. After being interrupted multiple times because of boarding passengers, ramp agents and folks needing to drop a deuce in forward lav, the dissertation was finished. It took about 3 minutes, which consisted of about 15 seconds of relevant flight information. I understand that this is the procedure Delta would like their pilots to follow, so I really can’t say much.
Once at cruise another announcement was made indicating that “because of our superior airmanship” we would be arriving early at our destination. This was when the douche line was crossed. At that point, the two rear flight attendants of the working crew and our crew became engrossed in the pure awesomeness of this flight crew. We spent the rest of the flight deciding what type of recognition this gravity defying and life saving crew should receive. We determined that these superior aviators should be entitled to a “Distinguished Flying Cross” for their act of heroism and bravery in the completion of their duty. After all they did save the lives of 140 passengers in the face of adversely clear skies and calm winds.
Of course we took it to the next level and tried to determine what acts of bravery would entitle someone to the highest honors. Our hypothetical situation included a first officer who slips on some ice during their preflight. Since the first officer is injured in the line of duty, they should be awarded a Purple Heart. Now the captain, who witnessed the fall immediately rushes down to assist the first officer and bring him/her back to the safety of the jet bridge. At the time snow is falling, so if it were not for the captains shear act of bravery, the first officer would have surely been crushed by a tug or belt loader because of the reduced visibility. For this reason, this heroic captain deserves a Medal of Honor, without question.
I mean absolutely no disrespect towards those military members who have actually received these honors. Thank you to Delta, especially the cabin crew for making this the most entertaining deadhead I’ve ever had.
So we are flying on a Delta Shady 80 and the captain decides to give the life story of himself and the first officer from the front of the cabin. This included a through review of their military careers as well as 50 years and 15,000 hours of combined flight experience. After being interrupted multiple times because of boarding passengers, ramp agents and folks needing to drop a deuce in forward lav, the dissertation was finished. It took about 3 minutes, which consisted of about 15 seconds of relevant flight information. I understand that this is the procedure Delta would like their pilots to follow, so I really can’t say much.
Once at cruise another announcement was made indicating that “because of our superior airmanship” we would be arriving early at our destination. This was when the douche line was crossed. At that point, the two rear flight attendants of the working crew and our crew became engrossed in the pure awesomeness of this flight crew. We spent the rest of the flight deciding what type of recognition this gravity defying and life saving crew should receive. We determined that these superior aviators should be entitled to a “Distinguished Flying Cross” for their act of heroism and bravery in the completion of their duty. After all they did save the lives of 140 passengers in the face of adversely clear skies and calm winds.
Of course we took it to the next level and tried to determine what acts of bravery would entitle someone to the highest honors. Our hypothetical situation included a first officer who slips on some ice during their preflight. Since the first officer is injured in the line of duty, they should be awarded a Purple Heart. Now the captain, who witnessed the fall immediately rushes down to assist the first officer and bring him/her back to the safety of the jet bridge. At the time snow is falling, so if it were not for the captains shear act of bravery, the first officer would have surely been crushed by a tug or belt loader because of the reduced visibility. For this reason, this heroic captain deserves a Medal of Honor, without question.
I mean absolutely no disrespect towards those military members who have actually received these honors. Thank you to Delta, especially the cabin crew for making this the most entertaining deadhead I’ve ever had.
12-02-2013, 09:12 AM
#4625
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Nov 2013
Position: Taxi Driver
Posts: 411
Cornbeef, Delta does want informative and timely PAs to keep our passengers up to date on delays or problems, but long dissertations about our backgrounds are not part of the plan. That stuff is just annoying to most pax and pure bragging at best. Thankfully, those guys are few and far between. Overwhelming majority of the people with whom I've flown are good aviators and true pros.
12-02-2013, 09:16 AM
#4626
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2010
Position: Representing the REAL Delta
Posts: 857
Originally Posted by Spudhauler
Cornbeef, Delta does want informative and timely PAs to keep our passengers up to date on delays or problems, but long dissertations about our backgrounds are not part of the plan. That stuff is just annoying to most pax and pure bragging at best. Thankfully, those guys are few and far between. Overwhelming majority of the people with whom I've flown are good aviators and true pros.
If we can't laugh at our own expense from time to time, we have no right to laugh at someone else's.
Last edited by cornbeef007; 12-02-2013 at 09:38 AM.
12-02-2013, 11:49 AM
#4629
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: B-737NG preferably in first class with a glass of champagne and caviar
Posts: 5,923
Originally Posted by paraglidingbum
The captain that reached across my lap to turn on the AC rather than just asking me to flip the switch that is 2 inches away from my right hand.
12-12-2013, 05:19 PM
#4630
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Mar 2008
Posts: 2,919
Originally Posted by VGerect
Tool of the Day
Early am flight from YOW back to DTW, I'm half asleep and on my first cup of coffee in cruise. Suddenly the most god awful smell crawls around my newspaper, the Captain has decided to open a can of tuna fish and start eating it for breakfast at 6:30am...A little warning would have been nice.
Same guy had his passenger PA briefing printed and laminated on a card, it was the dorky-est thing I've ever heard. "Relax and prepare to be spoiled by FA-**** while we finish programming the various computers" Holy crap batman it's an RJ not the space shuttle.
I think there was a reward for anyone that could steal it from him.
More to follow
Early am flight from YOW back to DTW, I'm half asleep and on my first cup of coffee in cruise. Suddenly the most god awful smell crawls around my newspaper, the Captain has decided to open a can of tuna fish and start eating it for breakfast at 6:30am...A little warning would have been nice.
Same guy had his passenger PA briefing printed and laminated on a card, it was the dorky-est thing I've ever heard. "Relax and prepare to be spoiled by FA-**** while we finish programming the various computers" Holy crap batman it's an RJ not the space shuttle.
I think there was a reward for anyone that could steal it from him.
More to follow
It'd be funny to see if he reads it or not. Kind of like slipping in inappropriate words in a TelePrompTer.
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