Help for my marriage
09-23-2014, 05:07 AM
#12
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2014
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by badflaps
There is usually another party involved, with the exception of physical violence, women do not just jump into outer space.(Internet opinion)
09-23-2014, 05:11 AM
#13
Prime Minister/Moderator
Joined APC: Jan 2006
Position: Engines Turn Or People Swim
Posts: 39,485
Originally Posted by LNL76
Woman's perspective here. Please be careful about YOU moving out, if that's what she's suggesting. My brother went through the same thing, she needed HER space, then she turned around and filed for divorce claiming abandonment. (Pretty ballsy on her part considering she was banging our cousin behind his back and ended up marrying the pig. She also had the audacity to ask for an annulment, which my idiot brother granted her, so she could marry in the church with long white gown, etc.)
Bottom line, if SHE wants her space, she needs to leave, NOT you. That said, good luck.....sorry to hear and hope it all works out.
Bottom line, if SHE wants her space, she needs to leave, NOT you. That said, good luck.....sorry to hear and hope it all works out.
This is the usual best legal advice, at least in many states. But doing what's legally best is not the same as doing what's best for the relationship. If you want to save the marriage badly enough (and think there's a shot) you may have to take some risk in the legal sense.
Staying in a household when she wants you to leave is not going to help smooth things over, probably the opposite.
But chicks don't need to be abandoned, or any other excuse, to get a divorce...it's free for the asking, they might as well just sell them in vending machines.
If there were kids involved (sounds like not in this case) then that's a WHOLE 'nother situation...she asks you to leave, you leave, well now you abandoned the family and that will hurt your child custody claims. Of course if you stay her next move will be a restraining order claiming spouse and/or child abuse. Better hope the kids are old enough to testify and tell the truth...
09-23-2014, 05:56 AM
#14
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: FDX 767 FO
Posts: 817
She wants space but doesn't want to go through the trouble of making her own space by leaving. She would rather saddle you with the burden of finding a new place and keep all the conveniences of home in place. Very telling IMO. She doesn't think it's a "we" problem, she thinks it's a problem with you and she is looking to change (back?) the problem but is leaving everything else the same.
Don't leave...
Don't leave...
09-23-2014, 06:55 AM
#15
With The Resistance
Joined APC: Jan 2006
Position: Burning the Agitprop of the Apparat
Posts: 6,191
Originally Posted by Iron Maiden
I love my wife like nothing else, but a few days ago she told me that she needs her space so we can try to work it out, so I'm moving out by the end of the month. I've researched marriage counseling and they have appalling statistics so I don't want to go down that road. Are there alternatives to counseling that work? I don't want to end up in a divorce. She told me that I've developed a short fuse as far as my temper, lost my self esteem and confidence.
09-23-2014, 09:18 AM
#17
Prime Minister/Moderator
Joined APC: Jan 2006
Position: Engines Turn Or People Swim
Posts: 39,485
Originally Posted by FlyBoyd
She wants space but doesn't want to go through the trouble of making her own space by leaving. She would rather saddle you with the burden of finding a new place and keep all the conveniences of home in place. Very telling IMO. She doesn't think it's a "we" problem, she thinks it's a problem with you and she is looking to change (back?) the problem but is leaving everything else the same.
Don't leave...
Don't leave...
Originally Posted by jungle
She needs to pack her bags and find her own space, you have to learn when to stop playing a game run by other people.
Originally Posted by TonyC
Show her that you've found them both by not leaving.
.
.
If he figures out it's a definite no-go, then that's the time to take care of himself first.
09-23-2014, 10:04 AM
#18
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: FDX 767 FO
Posts: 817
Originally Posted by rickair7777
Easy to say when you're talking about the girl someone else is in love with. Harder to do, when you're the one in love.
If he figures out it's a definite no-go, then that's the time to take care of himself first.
If he figures out it's a definite no-go, then that's the time to take care of himself first.
09-23-2014, 10:17 AM
#19
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Oct 2009
Position: B756 FO
Posts: 1,288
Here is what I don't understand... she wants here space, yet you are a pilot and she is an F/A. How much time are you both actually around one another? Call me crazy, but with the friends I know that have the same career dynamic with their partners, none of them ever mention they need more time away, rather they need more time together to work things out. Maybe I am missing something, but this career already offers a ton of time away.
09-23-2014, 10:19 AM
#20
With The Resistance
Joined APC: Jan 2006
Position: Burning the Agitprop of the Apparat
Posts: 6,191
Originally Posted by rickair7777
Easy to say when you're talking about the girl someone else is in love with. Harder to do, when you're the one in love.
If he figures out it's a definite no-go, then that's the time to take care of himself first.
If he figures out it's a definite no-go, then that's the time to take care of himself first.
Love of the game is no excuse for losing half of what you own.
Eventually survival becomes the primary objective-mental and economic survival.
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