Good luck. Not much to add that's not posted above. If it comes that the writing is plainly right there written, I wouldn't fight it forever.

Get yourself prepared. Yes, be careful about moving out, the 'abandonment' issue may come up. Once she starts talking shop with her buddies all sorts of courses of action are possible. I heard one talking about a 'tactical' restraining order to start things off.

Maybe polish up your detective skills with facebook, cellphone & email/computer review.

 

Looks like you've already resigned yourself to failure, applying to Hong Kong Airlines.

Enjoy divorce.






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I don't think he owns much. But once you start focusing on divorce economics, the relationship is 100% toast. Hopefully he won't ahve to go there.

 

He has no kids. Who cares who left who, divorce is no fault in most states...she wants a divorce, she gets one. But he should verify that for his state I suppose. Unless this is a lengthy marriage with a big income gap I don't think alimony is really even an issue here.

 

So Tony, What would be the pivotal point in this relationship!

 

Tell her you need your space too, that's why there's hunting, fishing, beer, football, and golf.

 

Find a church brother...best counseling ever. Sorry to hear this.

 

You guys are right, I don't own much. I signed the title of my truck over to my mom and the car that I'm making payments on is under my brothers name because he's single. No kids, and she's here on a Permanent residence that she has to get renewed, so maybe she'll be on her way back to her home country if it doesn't work out. The regional I'm at, I'm not flying much so we do see each other often since we are based in the same city. I'll try church with her since she is Catholic. I'm not giving up on this thing with her, however if a few months pass and I don't see any effort or improvement from her end, then I'll take the steps for a divorce. Hopefully we can come back together and be happy again.

 

That would be purely a function of his groundspeed over the threshold of the front door. If the groundspeed out the door is greater than zero, he's toast.









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IMHO, marriage counseling gets a bad rap because the couple seeks it too late or one person is only going through the motions. IF both want to fix it, and there is still something to fix, counseling can improve the chances. And when it fails, sometimes it can defuse the anger and promote civility (most important when kids are involved).

Have you asked her if she wants to try to fix the marriage?

That is the most important answer you need.

If she says yes, then you both calmly come up with ideas to get back on track. Offer to get separate bedrooms or alternate days on the couch while things get sorted out (DO NOT give up the bed completely: it belongs to you as much as it does to her.)

If she says no, then it is time to cut your losses. Be civil, don't argue, but tell her that it is time to divorce. IF you both are civil, divorce doesn't have to be a horrible, traumatic event: find a mediator and try to split the assets by working together.

If she says maybe.... now you have entered the mine field! You will hear maybe as "yes, I want to fix it. But I am scared, and unsure." MAYBE 10 percent of the time, that is what she means. More likely her maybe means, "Oh, I guess I could mooch off you a while longer," or "I don't want to say no because it will be my fault, so I'll say maybe and eventually he will give up," or "I'm scared to get divorced and have my family hate me, so I will say maybe, make it look like I tried to fix it, then be able to blame him for the divorce."

Sorry, Son, but in my own and friends experience, when a woman (or a man) wants "space", the odds are darn high that she is already half way gone.

Two last things to consider:
Always be civil even if she is not.
No pot, pan, chair, or candlestick is worth the fight. Take your fair share, but the monogrammed hand towels are not worth bursting a blood vessel. (Yes, I know a couple who fought tooth and nail over the hand towels.)

Good luck, and take care of yourself,
j