Fighter friendly airlines?
12-20-2007, 09:04 AM
#21
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jul 2007
Position: HMMWV in Iraq
Posts: 328
Contortionist story sounds familiar.
One of the techniques I heard was to take the knife like hook jobby thing you are supposed to use to cut twisted parachute lines with and use it to rip open a hole in the flight suit. Other technique was no kidding unstrapping from the seat and taking everything off and dropping the flight suit. I honestly cannot imagine physically accomplishing that in the jet with the canopy shut. I guess you could with the autopilot on and coupled to the next few waypoints, but I bet you kick off the autopilot bumping the stick. Also, two of the stories I remember involve dash 2, one of them flying form on the tanker crossing the pond, so autopilot would be nothing more than altitude hold, maybe add heading hold.
Oh, and get this, one of the other stories I was sitting ODO, a guy jumps out of the jet on a hot-seat, turns over the jet, and doesn't mention to the on-coming pilot that the seat cushion was ruined by his catastrophic SAS valve failure. Needless to say, the on-coming pilot was pretty mad.
One of the techniques I heard was to take the knife like hook jobby thing you are supposed to use to cut twisted parachute lines with and use it to rip open a hole in the flight suit. Other technique was no kidding unstrapping from the seat and taking everything off and dropping the flight suit. I honestly cannot imagine physically accomplishing that in the jet with the canopy shut. I guess you could with the autopilot on and coupled to the next few waypoints, but I bet you kick off the autopilot bumping the stick. Also, two of the stories I remember involve dash 2, one of them flying form on the tanker crossing the pond, so autopilot would be nothing more than altitude hold, maybe add heading hold.
Oh, and get this, one of the other stories I was sitting ODO, a guy jumps out of the jet on a hot-seat, turns over the jet, and doesn't mention to the on-coming pilot that the seat cushion was ruined by his catastrophic SAS valve failure. Needless to say, the on-coming pilot was pretty mad.
12-20-2007, 08:32 PM
#22
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Jan 2006
Posts: 257
Originally Posted by MAGNUM!!
It's been my experience that heavy pilots actually cr*p more. It's a simple matter of biology. Since heavy pilots tend to be "heeeavvy" pilots, they naturally eat more. I mean, have you ever seen a heavy crew go batsh*t crazy when their in-flight meals are goobered up? Bro, it AIN'T pretty. Anyway, more food in leads to more food out. Just an observation, don't take it personally.
As an aside, how do you get a C-130 pilot into the cockpit? Grease his hips, put a twinkie on the dash, and get the F outta the way!!
I keed, I keed
As an aside, how do you get a C-130 pilot into the cockpit? Grease his hips, put a twinkie on the dash, and get the F outta the way!!
I keed, I keed
C-130 pilots are NOT heavy drivers!!!
12-20-2007, 10:03 PM
#23
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Nov 2005
Position: 777 FO
Posts: 931
Originally Posted by MAGNUM!!
As an aside, how do you get a C-130 pilot into the cockpit? Grease his hips, put a twinkie on the dash, and get the F outta the way!!
Magnum, magnum, magnum...I will concede that there are no C-130 pilots who sing gay songs in unison with other men, C-130 pilots don't tailor their flightsuits (or change into a clean one on friday night), their call signs usually have something to do with something they did or the way they act, not because it rhymes with their last name or makes a cute phrase like "stormy weather" or "green bean," and they most definitely would not allow anyone to grease their hips. I will not however, allow you to besmirch the finest aviators in the world with stupid jokes. The correct joke is "How do you get a female C-5 pilot into the cockpit?" Get with the program.
12-21-2007, 09:51 AM
#24
China Visa Applicant
Joined APC: Oct 2006
Position: Midfield downwind
Posts: 1,919
Originally Posted by Deuce130
Magnum, magnum, magnum...I will concede that there are no C-130 pilots who sing gay songs in unison with other men, C-130 pilots don't tailor their flightsuits (or change into a clean one on friday night), their call signs usually have something to do with something they did or the way they act, not because it rhymes with their last name or makes a cute phrase like "stormy weather" or "green bean," and they most definitely would not allow anyone to grease their hips. I will not however, allow you to besmirch the finest aviators in the world with stupid jokes. The correct joke is "How do you get a female C-5 pilot into the cockpit?" Get with the program.
12-21-2007, 09:56 AM
#25
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Dec 2005
Posts: 840
Originally Posted by Deuce130
The correct joke is "How do you get a female C-5 pilot into the cockpit?" Get with the program.
12-21-2007, 11:00 AM
#26
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Dec 2007
Posts: 662
Originally Posted by sigtauenus
Contortionist story sounds familiar.
One of the techniques I heard was to take the knife like hook jobby thing you are supposed to use to cut twisted parachute lines with and use it to rip open a hole in the flight suit. Other technique was no kidding unstrapping from the seat and taking everything off and dropping the flight suit. I honestly cannot imagine physically accomplishing that in the jet with the canopy shut. I guess you could with the autopilot on and coupled to the next few waypoints, but I bet you kick off the autopilot bumping the stick. Also, two of the stories I remember involve dash 2, one of them flying form on the tanker crossing the pond, so autopilot would be nothing more than altitude hold, maybe add heading hold.
Oh, and get this, one of the other stories I was sitting ODO, a guy jumps out of the jet on a hot-seat, turns over the jet, and doesn't mention to the on-coming pilot that the seat cushion was ruined by his catastrophic SAS valve failure. Needless to say, the on-coming pilot was pretty mad.
One of the techniques I heard was to take the knife like hook jobby thing you are supposed to use to cut twisted parachute lines with and use it to rip open a hole in the flight suit. Other technique was no kidding unstrapping from the seat and taking everything off and dropping the flight suit. I honestly cannot imagine physically accomplishing that in the jet with the canopy shut. I guess you could with the autopilot on and coupled to the next few waypoints, but I bet you kick off the autopilot bumping the stick. Also, two of the stories I remember involve dash 2, one of them flying form on the tanker crossing the pond, so autopilot would be nothing more than altitude hold, maybe add heading hold.
Oh, and get this, one of the other stories I was sitting ODO, a guy jumps out of the jet on a hot-seat, turns over the jet, and doesn't mention to the on-coming pilot that the seat cushion was ruined by his catastrophic SAS valve failure. Needless to say, the on-coming pilot was pretty mad.
12-21-2007, 08:32 PM
#28
China Visa Applicant
Joined APC: Oct 2006
Position: Midfield downwind
Posts: 1,919
Originally Posted by papyco
Squadron mate of mine used his helmet bag to **** while he was wearing a dry suit in a Hornet! I have no idea how he did it.
I have no idea how he managed it, although since we're a 2-seat jet, the WSO was able to keep them from hitting the dirt while the pilot was doing gymnastics with the poopy suit.
12-22-2007, 03:14 AM
#29
Gets Weekends Off
Joined APC: Feb 2007
Position: The IPA EB speaks for me
Posts: 520
The wannabees goto a weapons course along w/ ya'lls best and wear the same target patch and have callsigns amongst themselves.
Some of 'em are great pilots w/ great attitudes and actually do the right thing w/ that patch- but in my notso humbles- some don't. But yes, dorothy- some of them there in AMC do have callsigns.
DEAD BUG!
Some of 'em are great pilots w/ great attitudes and actually do the right thing w/ that patch- but in my notso humbles- some don't. But yes, dorothy- some of them there in AMC do have callsigns.
DEAD BUG!
12-22-2007, 07:08 AM
#30
Guest
Posts: n/a
Originally Posted by MoosePileit
The wannabees goto a weapons course along w/ ya'lls best and wear the same target patch and have callsigns amongst themselves.
I bet you could stay inside his turn circle. Maybe you could smack with an AAR hose or something. Stay outside the 1000' bubble, though...wouldn't want him to drop a Bradley out the back or something.
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