How To Annoy The FAs
#33
#34
When I was on the Dash, we had a new, very excited about her job, girl. She came up to the cockpit and asks "what button do you push to call me?" With out missing a beat the CA points to the HSI control thats illuminated "slave" and says "this one right here." I wish I had a camera for the look on her face.
#35
Use caution
IMHO, pranks are an integral part of crew unity and job sanity in this business. For those of you who never flew prior to 9/11 I'm truly sorry, because it was such a different environment then, and much more light hearted.
A good FA knows that everything is in good humor. A great FA will figure out ways to get back at the flightdeck with a good prank of their own. (Just remember if you dish it out, you'd better be able to take it too!)
A good FA knows that everything is in good humor. A great FA will figure out ways to get back at the flightdeck with a good prank of their own. (Just remember if you dish it out, you'd better be able to take it too!)
Very true about the changed environment. Some other F/As and passengers who may observe the prank no longer share our sense of humor. Recent events have put a lot of people into the "short temper" mode, and you can't always tell who they are. Then you get a call or letter from the Chief Pilot. Unfortunate, but that's the way it is now.
#36
For newbie FAs
My personal favorite is to tell a new FA that the aircraft is very sensitive to lateral changes in Weight and Balance and that it is of the utmost importance to remain as close as possible to the center of the walkway. Have the NFP watch her as she moves away from the center; PF rolls the plane in that direction. Works every time.
Another fun one is to have a new FA ask for "permission to come aboard" every time she enters the flight deck. This is most effective if carried out for an entire four day trip and then allowed to continue on to whoever she flies with next...
Another fun one is to have a new FA ask for "permission to come aboard" every time she enters the flight deck. This is most effective if carried out for an entire four day trip and then allowed to continue on to whoever she flies with next...
Last edited by Radar; 05-15-2007 at 12:34 PM. Reason: Proper English.
#37
Not quite FA's but..
When I was flying on the C-130s back in the day going TDY to do personnel drops for the Army, I would pour a can of soup in a barf bag, toss it in the oven at FS 245 and pass it back to the loadmaster who was usually camped out by the paratroop doors, using the Army folks to pass it down to him. He would get the bag, whip out a spoon start eating. Those poor grunts just knew it was barf...but it was just soup in there. We would just get finish flying a low level, yankin' and bankin' and be about 5 minutes to green light to drop, but the would lose their lunch over the soup thing but not the low level. Talk about your sentimental pukers...
#38
i remember hearing a story about some 707 pilots who with the f/a in the cockpit metioned that one of them had to go to the bathroom. enginner pops open the aftmost cover for some circuit, peaks in, and then says, 'youre clear.' f/a of course freaked out thinking they could 'know' when the front lav was occupied so they always used the rear...
#39
tell the FA you need and airsample and have them walk downt he aisle carrying a plastic bag getting the sample
once had an FA check the lav juice color about 6 times because it was 'MEL'd' and then ask her which way the toilet flushs, had her back there a ton of times checking that thing, lol
propwash usually works
heard a story of the pilots tellin the FA that they could light a cigarette with the radar, she tried
in the saab pull the utility bus circuit breaker then hit all the PCUs once then at the right moment push the breaker back in the all the lights will go off at the same time throughlly confusing them
once had an FA check the lav juice color about 6 times because it was 'MEL'd' and then ask her which way the toilet flushs, had her back there a ton of times checking that thing, lol
propwash usually works
heard a story of the pilots tellin the FA that they could light a cigarette with the radar, she tried
in the saab pull the utility bus circuit breaker then hit all the PCUs once then at the right moment push the breaker back in the all the lights will go off at the same time throughlly confusing them
#40
Not an FA joke, but one that I heard from an old C5 aircraft commander- The crew had spent several days overseas in the far east and apparently consumed a large amount of beer on the layover. They saved all of the empty cans, and stowed them away up under the engineers panel in large garbage bags.
Headed home, with a full load of troops and other gear in the back, they had the loadmaster walk by the troops every 10-15 minutes with a tray full of full beers (unopened) on his way to the flight deck. He'd then swap out the full cans for the empties, and then walk back past the troops. Apparently made for some good conversation in the back...
Another good prank is to make the FA salute the US flag painted on the tail of the aircraft every time they board. Had a former Navy Commander do that one.
Headed home, with a full load of troops and other gear in the back, they had the loadmaster walk by the troops every 10-15 minutes with a tray full of full beers (unopened) on his way to the flight deck. He'd then swap out the full cans for the empties, and then walk back past the troops. Apparently made for some good conversation in the back...
Another good prank is to make the FA salute the US flag painted on the tail of the aircraft every time they board. Had a former Navy Commander do that one.
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