Phew, Hey Topgun, Slider or whatever your call sign is, you stink.

You know you won't be happy unless you fly around with your hair on fire at Mach 2. So try flying the friendly skies over Georgia in Eastern Europe battling the Soviet Migs.

Wow, Maverick, no one's been this close to a Mig 29 before!!!

Man I think that Mig really screwed him up bad!! I don't think he is gonna make it back.

Hey Topgun, or Cougar whatever your call sign is, STAY with me.

That's enough fun for one day, don't you think.

 

"goose, she's lost that lovin' feeling. She what? She's lost that..........no she hasn't Mav, I hate it when she does that!"

Look Miramar, I'm glad that you consider yourself an expert on this situation from rising through the ranks but honestly...what makes you the resident expert on the ground operations in IAD? Are you a customer service expert as well? If you were, you would also know that an airline's operation is a lot more involved than just the crew and the fact that you are on here complaining about it makes me question your true background. Don't forget, you wanted the cheap ticket to fly you across the country at airline speeds, airline prices, and with airline safety yet you want to sit there and demand amtrak fares with a bottle of champagne. Get over it, sit down, shut up, and be grateful for you flight....otherwise start paying the price you should be paying for round trip and maybe things will get better.

 

"Who's up there?"

"It's ah... ah Maverick, ah, I mean Topgun and Goose, sir."

"Whaat? GOD HELP US."

"What is it with you, Topgun, one high speed flyby stunt you pulled over one Admirals' daughter's house,.... Put in hack, TWICE, by me."

"I just want to the best fighter pilot in the NAVY, SIR."

"Is that why you are always the second best up there?"

"Look, Maverick, er I mean Topgun, I know it's been difficult for you, being the Mitchell kid and all, but you are always flying against a ghost or something." "Look, I am gonna be honest with you Mav, er Topgun, It's making me nervous."

" I guess that high speed flyby wasn't such a great idea." "Goose, you are the only family I've got, I am NOT going to let you down. I PROMISE."

"You know, I just can't believe I am doing this.... Topgun was number one. He just turned in his wings. You guys are number one now. I am going to give you bozos your dream shot. You guys are going to TOPGUN."

 

Best thread on the forums, hands down Love the one-liners!! In fact, I think I'm going to pop in Top-Gun right now and brush up a little LoL

 

"Tower, this is Ghost Rider, Request a high speed flyby."

"Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full."

BAAMM, WHOOOSH....SHHH.

"Hee HAAh, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE, Chester's dead." "Chester's DEAD."

"Damn, that ******* guy." "No, that WAS the Topgun SIR."

 

You flew a CRJ that was full and had a light load in the bin...aka..Ballast is needed in order for the physics to work properly. Being a "former" pilot you should know better...right?

New hire FA reading out of the book....well seeing as how her announcement has to be word for word because the FAA mandates it. Whats your point?

If the flight was switched to a 1:20 departure then why did it board at 12:20??

Fuel 20 mins late....mmmm....IAD is a huge busy airport!!??!

-------------------------------

So you'll never fly a regional again huh? Good luck spending all day or week getting from point A to B while you wait for those mainliners.

 

Aren't FAs supposed to memorize their speeches before hitting the line? I wonder if she'd have to pull out her SOP and study it for a few minutes before conducting an evac? And what about the gate change? That could have been an equipment or crew issue, right? We don't know for sure what the story was.

Nonetheless, I see most of the original poster's complaints as legitimate. (Except maybe the FO being on IOE.... unless of course the FO should have stayed in the sim for another week.) Mangers at mainline and regional carriers should heed this type of feedback and work together to improve their systems. These are exactly the type of complaints that might cause customers to shift their preferences. For example, maybe they'd rather drive to Baltimore and ride on an orange 737......

No, I will not end this with a top gun quote. All of the good ones have been taken.

 

"Jester's dead." "Hee Haaah, Jester's dead."

"No, .. That's not what I heard."

"WHAT's your PROBLEM TOPGUN er I mean Kazansky?"

"I don't like you. I don't like you because everytime you go up there you are dangerous."

"THAT"S RIGHT, TOPGUN, ah I mean ICEMAN..... I AM dangerous."

"So TOPGUN, while you were showboating with the MIG who was looking after Cougar?"

"Cougar was doing just fine."

"Look, you may not like to the guys you fly with, and we may not like you, but whose side are you on, Mav?"

"Topgun was a good man."

"Topgun IS a good man."

"That's what I meant."

 

I'm never flying a regional again is kind of like saying I'll never drink again while in the throes of a hangover.

Oh yea:

You went below the hard deck.

 

"So you were in an inverted negative G dive with the MIG?"

"Buhl huh huh l, s.....it."

"Yeah, it's all true, I have it in polaroids."

"well, I...." "WE, Mav, WE"

"Sorry Goose, WE spotted a lone Mig at our three o'clock, 3000 feet below us and I, ah I mean WE immediately turned into him, but we were not allowed get the missile lock on him so we went into an inverted negative G dive above him."

"What were you doing up there, Lieutenant?"

"Well, Maam, Topgun and I were communicating, you know keeping up our foreign relationship, you know, giving him the bird,..... and ah taking the video using my brand new Samsung digital camcorder for the YouTube segment titled 'Mig Alley' ... It wasn't easy but we got it done, we are pleased to report."

"Lieutenant, so you were the one. Look, I would like to hear about your MIG encounter sometime."

"It's Classified. I could tell you about it, but then I'd have to kill you."

"Look Lieutenant, the Navy sees to it that I know more than you."

"Well, it doesn't seem that way in this case now, does it maam?

"You've got Secret Clearance, ... you can read about it. It you'll excuse me maam, I've got to edit my video footage of 'communicating with the enemy, keeping up our foreign relations with the Russian Commies."