You can always use the old;

"Go ahead, I think you can make it..."

That works when doing just about anything, in or out of the airplane.

I like your half step technique. Enlighten us with more. :)

In no particular order:

10. Carl's the ole' aneurysm routine.
9. Timbo's half step.

What about, as the airplane passes though 33,000'...

"Hey, weren't we only cleared to 23?"

It might work as well as the joke I used to play flying into Dulles post 9/11 days: "Did you get the password?" Oh the panic that'd ensue, if the guy started complaining about his left arm then you honestly took it too far...

One of my favorite Willie (and Waylon) songs:

Waylon & Willie - Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys - Lyrics - YouTube

When I sing it, I change the word "Cowboys" to Pilots, it seems to fit us as well. :D

8. Fart frequently. Don't hold it in. Wait until they say something. "Man.... i think someone lost it in the lav." "I don't smell anything. You sure you're ok?"

Well, if anything, it relieves any stress on my body. :)

I don't know, if that worked that well I'd dun already moved up 20 numbers.

The 757 has a fart shield too, that's a problem.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo...0o1_r1_500.gif

... unless you go to Qdoba and order a ground beef burrito with sour cream and quac ($1.40 extra or something) then put it in your bag, wait 3 days and then pull it out, eat it and see what happens.

Would informing the bar crowd in Bogota that your Captain is really a Secret Service agent be a viable option?

How about making him watch a full episode of Nancy Grace on CNN Headline News while waiting for the inbound?

http://blogs.ajc.com/view-from-cop/f...nancygrace.jpg

Hmmmm...never mind.

From the news today...Brazilian airline Gol Linhas Aereas Inteligentes SA and U.S. partner Delta Air Lines Inc said on Thursday they were extending their codesharing pact to Delta's flights between the United States and Brazil.

Anyone think this will lead to more intl flying for Delta pilots?

I don't.