What's the difference between a condom and a cockpit?

You can only fit one d!ckhead in a condom.

How do you tell a good flight attendant from a great flight attendant?

A good one says, "Good morning Captain."

A great one rolls over and says, "It's morning Captain."



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After a visit to the ***** house,
a man notices green lumps on his willy,
so he goes to the doctors.
“That’s serious” says the doctor.
“You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears?”
“Yes” says the man seriously.

“Well” says the doctor “You’ve got brothel sprouts.”

What do a turtle and a flight attendant have in common? :eek:

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

To all involved in tonight's shenanigans:

http://ggwhy.com/OG/random/Laughing%20Dog.jpg

but I also want to post this laughing dog picture, but honestly, it's actually kind of scary...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_DvlWo60SGR...ughing-dog.jpg

Speaking of dogs... have you seen this one?

Ultimate Dog Tease

80 and ftb screwed by a flt attendant
 

YouTube - Stolen Parking Space

Trolling the police in Orange County.... by one really really ticked off woman. Oh... and some of the most idiotic news commentary I've heard in a while:

Reminds me of my favorite Mastercard commercial:

YouTube - Mastercard - Blow Job