Funniest things said to you while in uniform?
12-06-2010 | 09:49 AM
#61
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 4,047
Likes: 20
From: 7ER B...whatever that means.
Man, the more I think about it the more stupid things I hear come out of people's mouths. While in line to buy food in PNS I am standing next to a cooler for monster energy drinks. A dude walks up in line behind me and grabs a monster and then gets chatty.
Pax: Man, I bet you guys drink tons of these things, huh?
Me: Don't need em. I have a $20 million dollar flying coffee maker.
Pax: That's all that thing can do?!
Me: Well, how many flying kitchen appliances do YOU have?!
Pax: Man, I bet you guys drink tons of these things, huh?
Me: Don't need em. I have a $20 million dollar flying coffee maker.
Pax: That's all that thing can do?!
Me: Well, how many flying kitchen appliances do YOU have?!
12-06-2010 | 12:04 PM
#62
New Hire
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 8
Likes: 0
From: CRJ FO
DH-ing over Halloween the man sitting next to me:
Him: "Are you in Halloween costume?"
Me: "No, this is my job"
Him: "I didnt know they let females fly"
My captain (sitting in the row infront of us): "Yes, its really not cool to impersonate a pilot while at an airport"
After landing really early in the morning a man comes up to the cockpit and asks who was flying?
Captain: "I was, why what can I help you with?"
Man: "I need your name and employee number, I need to report you to the FAA"
Captain: "Why what happened?"
Man: "Im a private pilot and know for a fact you never did a run up to check your magnetos."
Captain: "Sir, this is a jet engine and there are none, and we did do our version of a runup"
Man: "No, you never checked your magnetos and I need to report you"
Then turns to me and tells me he needs my as well because I let him takeoff without doing a runup, I told him not to spell my name incorrectly
Him: "Are you in Halloween costume?"
Me: "No, this is my job"
Him: "I didnt know they let females fly"
My captain (sitting in the row infront of us): "Yes, its really not cool to impersonate a pilot while at an airport"
After landing really early in the morning a man comes up to the cockpit and asks who was flying?
Captain: "I was, why what can I help you with?"
Man: "I need your name and employee number, I need to report you to the FAA"
Captain: "Why what happened?"
Man: "Im a private pilot and know for a fact you never did a run up to check your magnetos."
Captain: "Sir, this is a jet engine and there are none, and we did do our version of a runup"
Man: "No, you never checked your magnetos and I need to report you"
Then turns to me and tells me he needs my as well because I let him takeoff without doing a runup, I told him not to spell my name incorrectly
12-06-2010 | 12:08 PM
#63
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 588
Likes: 0
From: A-320/A
>Our personality &
>Our choice in Lay-Over clothes...
12-06-2010 | 12:15 PM
#64
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 588
Likes: 0
From: A-320/A
Passing through JFK in full uniform a lady comes up to me:
lady: Hey! You! Here are my bag take them to the BMW parked just outside
me (dressed in full uniform with my rollerboard): huh?
lady: Don't worry, I'll pay and tip you!
me: Ahhh, lady, I'm not a bag porter, I'm a pilot.
lady: Whatever, just get my bags, I said I'll pay you!!!!
me: Miss- again, I'm a pilot. Those guys standing outside with the luggage carts can help you. Do you also see this crew badge? It says pilot-not bag porter.
She looks at me dumbfounded like I was lying to her. I told my Captain what happened, and he tells me that when he jumpseatrs through JFK he always carries stupid pax bags. Says he makes some good extra money on the side doing it. I thought he was full of it until I saw him in full uniform doing it for a chick that gave him a $50.
Only in aviation!!!!
lady: Hey! You! Here are my bag take them to the BMW parked just outside
me (dressed in full uniform with my rollerboard): huh?
lady: Don't worry, I'll pay and tip you!
me: Ahhh, lady, I'm not a bag porter, I'm a pilot.
lady: Whatever, just get my bags, I said I'll pay you!!!!
me: Miss- again, I'm a pilot. Those guys standing outside with the luggage carts can help you. Do you also see this crew badge? It says pilot-not bag porter.
She looks at me dumbfounded like I was lying to her. I told my Captain what happened, and he tells me that when he jumpseatrs through JFK he always carries stupid pax bags. Says he makes some good extra money on the side doing it. I thought he was full of it until I saw him in full uniform doing it for a chick that gave him a $50.
Only in aviation!!!!
Man, for $50 bucks, I'd load her bags, any day of the week. Maybe I'm in the wrong business. I'm thinking, 'how much do I make off her for flying her around for an hour or hour & 1/2...My rate of pay, divided by 125 pax. Something like $1.20. That's chump change compared to 2 minutes to load her trunk. Dude, you need to maybe rethink this thing...
Chuck
12-06-2010 | 12:48 PM
#65
Line Holder
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 810
Likes: 0
From: 747 Captain (Ret,)
Walking to the airport hotel in IND in about 2006 at 1100PM, had a guy get out of his pickup truck and flag us down trying to buy a ticket so he could go bail his friend out of jail in FL.
Asks where he can buy an Eastern Airlines ticket. "Yep, dropped my friend off in 198x in FL and now he's in trouble so I gotta go bail him out. I really liked that Eastern Airlines. So can I just buy a ticket from ya'll?"
Don't know if he ever made it to bail his buddy out but I'm fairly sure he hadn't ever heard of a phone or the internet.
Asks where he can buy an Eastern Airlines ticket. "Yep, dropped my friend off in 198x in FL and now he's in trouble so I gotta go bail him out. I really liked that Eastern Airlines. So can I just buy a ticket from ya'll?"
Don't know if he ever made it to bail his buddy out but I'm fairly sure he hadn't ever heard of a phone or the internet.
Joe
12-06-2010 | 03:32 PM
#67
Day puke
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,865
Likes: 0
From: Out.
Grumpy pax poked his head into the cockpit said, " Always these crappy, little prop planes! Why don't you guys fly a jet in here?"
"We try to match the aircraft to the city being served," I answered with a smile.
"We try to match the aircraft to the city being served," I answered with a smile.
12-06-2010 | 06:47 PM
#69
Moderate Moderator
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 5,681
Likes: 0
From: Curator at Static Display
1. Not said to me, but overheard at an airport a few years back:
Loud-mouthed drawlin' know-it-all, to his friends and family: "That there's a 7-2-7" (pointing at a 737), "and that-un there is a 7-3-7" (pointing at a 727). "The number in the middle tells you the number of engines," he proudly proclaimed.
I wanted to ask him: "How many engines does a 7-0-7 have?"
2. Not long ago, I'm riding business-class on a DAL 767. A Fran Drescher-ish, whiny high-maintenance type gets on, sits next to me; I smile and say hello.
She looks around, and in a nasally voice dripping with disgust says: "Do you think they could have gotten a bigger plane?!?" (I guess the 767 was cramped for her).
Loud-mouthed drawlin' know-it-all, to his friends and family: "That there's a 7-2-7" (pointing at a 737), "and that-un there is a 7-3-7" (pointing at a 727). "The number in the middle tells you the number of engines," he proudly proclaimed.
I wanted to ask him: "How many engines does a 7-0-7 have?"
2. Not long ago, I'm riding business-class on a DAL 767. A Fran Drescher-ish, whiny high-maintenance type gets on, sits next to me; I smile and say hello.
She looks around, and in a nasally voice dripping with disgust says: "Do you think they could have gotten a bigger plane?!?" (I guess the 767 was cramped for her).
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