http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Snore-Calm-Fo...UwZv!~~_35.JPG

I always start a trip with a pair of these in my pocket. They give 'em away free at every crewbase lounge......priced specifically with pilots in mind.

As soon as I sit down at my deadhead seat (undoubtedly 37B) I make a big show of pulling them out and slowly rolling them between my two fingers and putting them in my ears. I then shove my face in a book or the copy of the USA Today with the "compliments of Hilton hotels" sticker on it. This display usually has the desired effect.

If I'm feeling particularly mischievous that day, right before I place the foamy plugs in I might turn to the Pax and say "My route is El Paso......and yes, sometimes I'm very afraid."

LOL....That story reminded me of one of my first flights as a FA working ALB-EWR. First flight of the day on a cold, snowy February morning (yeah, go figure)....
CA made the announcement that we had to de-ice and she called me over with tears in her eyes---very upset. Her brilliant exchange with me went like this:

Her: "Excuse me, this is the first flight of the day, isn't it."
Me: "Yes it is."
Her: "So why didn't you de-ice last night to save time this morning? We only have 30 minutes to connect to our flight to Miami for our cruise."
Me: (speechless--and trying hard not to laugh.)
Her Husband: "Stop being to stupid----you have to de-ice immediately before take off or you'll crash."

I hope they weren't on their honeymoon.

Forgot to mention....the same "lady" with the 30 min connection is the same one still talking on her Iphone well after the door closed. Same phone starts chiming as the texts and emails started flooding in on short final. I couldn't take it any more and said..."they don't make nearly that much noise when they are turned off like they are supposed to be right now."

To this day, I am convinced it was pax cell phone(s) that generated a false glide path on us once in the MD-80. This was back in the 90's when cell phones still actually worked in flight.

This bogus signal tried to drive us into the dirt. We're used to glide slopes either working perfectly, or generating an OFF flag. This one did neither.

The best time for passengers to use them is when the FA's are buckled in after the "Prepare for landing" PA... they can call people to say something like "Yeah, we're about to land, pick me up at blah blah."

Its also the same "lady" who bought her ticket on cheapoair.com and saved $5 due to the tight connection. I flew into DTW last week and we arrived 15 mins early....we had three pax who had to sprint to terminal C because their connection departed in 30 mins. Read the fine print people.:rolleyes:

My technique as well. Precludes the "aren't you supposed to be up there?" from the fat guy in the middle seat pointing to the cockpit.

I'll chime in on a similar scenario. We were DH'ing to BTV one day and when we arrived at the gate, a pax asks me and my Captain the same question, with which I reply,"Nah, the company is trying the unmanned aircraft approach, and we're just here to mitigate in the event the robots go haywire." My Captain spits water out his nose while said pax actually laughs hysterically.

Heeeerrrrrreeee's your sign!:cool:

TOTD award goes to the fat chick at ATL today. It's pouring outside and this beached whale gets on the hotel van with her ugly @$$ dog, who jumps up next to me and shakes off, flinging water everywhere and then starts sniffing right up in my ear. Before I can say anything she yanks it back a row and keeps it in her lap where they exchange sloppy kisses (probably the most action she's seen in years).


Naturally, I pulled out my FFDO-issued sidearm and neutralized both threats to my sanity (I wish)

Can you tell this happened not more than 15 minutes ago?! :eek:

Well for all you complaining about pax that talk to you when js'ing, today I sat down in my seat, got up to take my coat off in the overhead bin and the chick next to me goes "oo! We have a pilot in the middle of the plane too!...you are a pilot right?"

Well, rather then blowing her off with a "no **** sherlock, i just dress like this for fun" type answer, I very graciously answered the question and we struck up a 3 hour conversation. The trip was done in no time. The best part? She was a daaaaaaaang cute European girl who asked for my number at the end.

I win :)
Or maybe I'm TOTD for giving her my number in uniform? I donno...don't worry, I kept it professional...until I was out of my uniform :D