Notices
Hangar Talk For non-aviation-related discussion and aviation threads that don't belong elsewhere

Tool of the day

Old 04-26-2012, 09:12 PM
  #651  
I'm a man of my word.
 
CaptainCarl's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Jul 2008
Position: Devil's Advocate
Posts: 2,883
Default

Originally Posted by gloopy View Post
D bags that like to pass from the back of the line/reverse seniority order whenever your lane is stuck. Reduces the ability of people to get out of a bum lane by like 95%. Tools.
I love the idiots who line up for their turn/exit/lane miles back (creating a traffic jam in that lane) while I cruise down the open lane to the front and try to time it just right for some slacker who's not paying attention to leave an opening. If everyone's paying attention, I take my punishment and go to the next turn/exit.

FWIW, there's always a slow-poke and I rarely miss my turn/exit
CaptainCarl is offline  
Old 04-26-2012, 09:14 PM
  #652  
Gets Weekends Off
 
tomgoodman's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Feb 2006
Position: 767A (Ret)
Posts: 6,248
Default

Originally Posted by Luv2Rotate View Post
The guy who showed up in his current airline uniform to interview with another prospective airline, and he didn't commute in because we saw him at breakfast this morning in the hotel prior to the interview.
Yeah, he should have worn the uniform of the airline that was interviewing him, as a pre-emptive display of love and commitment.
tomgoodman is offline  
Old 04-26-2012, 09:15 PM
  #653  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined APC: Apr 2012
Posts: 108
Default

Just got back from the Gas Station/Convenience Store/Liquor Store - I was there for ciggs. 2245 local.

In full uniform minus the tie (epaulets - 3 stripes, metal wings) was a pilot. I asked who he worked for and he said Skywest, everyone heard him. He said he'd been there 7 YEARS and I gotta tell you he looked great. Shirt still ironed, big smile and looked like I do when I show up for work. I never look better than he did.

He was a sensation! Everyone wanted to talk airplanes, airlines and airports with him. And all he was buying was a six pack of Bud Lite.

I'm the tool for not waiting and telling him, "Dude, take off the epaulets and wings when you're buying booze."
IA1125 is offline  
Old 04-26-2012, 09:19 PM
  #654  
I'm a man of my word.
 
CaptainCarl's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Jul 2008
Position: Devil's Advocate
Posts: 2,883
Default

Originally Posted by Jesse View Post
This is the guy who treats a drive to the grocery store like the Daytona 500.


My personal motto for all trips to the grocery store
CaptainCarl is offline  
Old 04-26-2012, 09:39 PM
  #655  
Gets Weekends Off
 
throttleweenie's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Aug 2008
Position: A-320 Capt
Posts: 270
Default

I'm a tool because I can't wait for 800' AGL so I can turn on the autopilot. My F/Os are all better sticks than me and make me look like a douche-nozzle (my new favorite derogatory term) in the sim.

The good part about that is, we finished our 4 hour sim in 2 hours, due in no small part to either my self-perceived intrepid aviating or his actual ability to fly while hog-tied.

I can't wait to get bumped back to the A-320 because the minimum altitude for engagement is 100' if all conditions are met, like being able to fog a mirror in one breath.

TW
throttleweenie is offline  
Old 04-26-2012, 09:56 PM
  #656  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Fr8doggie's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Apr 2007
Position: Junior
Posts: 280
Default

The dude who left his full tobacco spit cup in the cupholder from the last flight, inevitably spilling on my pants while climbing into the seat at 540am the next day. I think I would have rather sat in puke.
Fr8doggie is offline  
Old 04-27-2012, 03:49 AM
  #657  
Retired
 
DYNASTY HVY's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Feb 2008
Position: whale wrangler
Posts: 3,527
Default

Originally Posted by Jesse View Post
TOD, you know 'em. You're driving in the left lane, you've got some spacing between you and the car in front of you; at most three car lengths, probably less, but you're not tailgating either. Right lane has traffic as well that the cars in the left lane are slowly, but surely over taking. So if I've hopefully created the scene accurately enough so you could basically say it's not rush hour, but you've got some traffic to deal with. Well, here comes a guy passing the car behind in as he moves from the left lane over into the right lane. This is the guy who treats a drive to the grocery store like the Daytona 500. You're on pace to over take the next car in the right lane, but Dale Jr just has to jet up to that car's bumper so he can fit into that space in front of you that gives him about one foot of clearance. Objective achieved: he'll get to Piggly Wiggly 4 seconds sooner. Only 12 more of those and you'll be almost one minute ahead of schedule.
How about those folks who speed up just to get to a red light ?
DYNASTY HVY is offline  
Old 04-27-2012, 04:01 AM
  #658  
Junior Senior
 
LNL76's Avatar
 
Joined APC: Feb 2012
Position: Whiskey Papa
Posts: 2,850
Default

Originally Posted by DYNASTY HVY View Post
How about those folks who speed up just to get to a red light ?
Not as precious as the ones who cut you off in the process.......
LNL76 is offline  
Old 04-27-2012, 04:03 AM
  #659  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined APC: Jun 2009
Posts: 5,113
Default

I noticed there are temporary tools, and tool places. Take, for example, the pit of dispair, the ATL crew lounge. You take a perfectly normal pilot, say a pilot that would acknowledge another pilot anywhere else in the world, and put them down there for, oh, five minutes... TOOL.

You can experience this by walking in quickly, before you yourself turn into a complete TOOL, and send out a little "hey, how you doing" to one of the tools walking around around like he has a broom up his [bleep!]. If they glare at you, full of indignation, you know they've been there long enough.

If they try desperately to avoid eye contact, like a sad depressed Goth teenager, or a feral cat, then you know you're in the DTW crew lounge.

If everyone is more tanned, and more friendly than you, and all they want to do is make eye contact with you, but ever so briefly, and then they immediately forget what they were doing, because someone else comes along, you're in LA.

If they do all of the above within the span of a microsecond, and then they want to hear more about that feral cat, then you're in a Flight Attendant lounge.
Sink r8 is offline  
Old 04-27-2012, 04:18 AM
  #660  
Gets Weekends Off
 
Joined APC: Jun 2009
Posts: 5,113
Default

There are also tool devices. Take for example the HUD/HGS on the 737. It doesn't work on everyone the same way: a good guy remains a good guy. But if you already have a propensity for toolishness, it magnifies it.

If you're starting the trip, and the Captain shows signs already, the minute they bring it down, first putting their hat on backwards like a U-Boat commander stepping up to a periscope, you get confirmation. I don't know exactly what it is, but as the green glow gently overtakes their sweaty forhead, and droplets form underneath the comb-over, you get the feeling they're far, far away, in some universe where tools roam free. It goes away when they give it one long, loving glance, as they put it back in its' little HUD blanket, and fold it away, ever so tenderly. Then they start to figure out a way to make the layover miserable.
Sink r8 is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Elvis90
Military
2
11-11-2010 09:25 AM
meloveboeing
Regional
5
10-02-2010 07:47 AM
kc135driver
United
119
08-24-2010 08:30 AM
exerauflyboy5
Flight Schools and Training
15
02-18-2009 08:29 PM
Busdriver
JetBlue
70
01-16-2006 10:32 PM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Your Privacy Choices