Since the start of your 121 career, anytime your family or spouse answers the phone, you are automatically not there. You don't even have to say anything, it's just assumed.

 

the wife knows not to answer your phone if it shows the area code for work while at home

 

Good one!

...you become invisible to your boss, and excessively visible to your neighbors, who don't believe you actually have a job.

...your dog growls when you get home.

 

When it's easier to go to sleep when your not suppose to.

 

If it is all you can do to not swear at your spouse when she asks, "So would you like to go out for dinner tonight?"

 

...if you can immediately think of an entire group of people who you could give this card to.

 

You're on the curb in LGA waiting on the shuttle, a car pulls up, guy gets out and opens ther trunk, tosses luggage at you and screams;

"doze baygs are goin' ta lawderdayle" thinking you're a skycap.

 

Nice one.

If you use a checklist to pack your suit case before a trip.

 

You pack your bag without thinking/knowing/remember how it got done, but yet everything is strangely there...

Or when your driving home, you literally feel like braveheart, "FREEEEEDOOOOMMMMM"


Your basic bag contents don't really change that much, you use the same 3 pairs of jeans, sandals and gym shorts, otherwise known as "road clothes".

 

You eat the food on the airplane that you'd never eat on the ground.

All your toilet paper at home is individually wrapped

You have a nice collection of Hotel Ice Buckets at home in your bar

You learn how to hack the crewroom computers to get on Facebook

You become a closet cleptomaniac

You have 137 Crowne Plaza Bed Kits at home

You have 42 Shoe Polish Kits at home and your shoes still aren't polished

You have a wide selection of single serve Coffees next to your brewer

You think the inventor of the Zipper Tie should be a world leader

You are so involved in discussion with your dispatcher concerning your fuel, that you forget about your clip-on tie that is attached to your chest pocket as you pace in the jetway while boarding

Your Rollerboard looks like it did a couple of tours in the skies over Nam!

You have no idea how much a USA Today costs

In the morning you "Load Up" your travel cooler with the free breakfast items at the La Quinta.

You pat your as* as the van driver walks away pretending to reach for your wallet knowing you have only $0.04 lint covered cents in your front pocket

You ask for the suite at the hotel jokingly and she hooks you up...with the Handicap Room. Ding Dong Ditch anyone at 5am?

You can actually decipher what TSA is saying to you

Your Luggage glows from all the radiation

You've sent passengers on wild goose chases around the terminal on purpose