highfarfast

This sounds very familiar to me. My wife wants something not dissimilar to this dog and brings it to discussion. I’m too “lazy” to recall the last time she got this ‘similar to this dog’ she expected me to be equal caregiver, after the fact, to this thing I would have never gotten if I lived alone and she is constantly telling me how much more she does for them than I do (I think I’m supposed to feel guilty).

We have two dogs, two cates, two horses, and six chickens. Really, I don’t mind taking care of them when I’m home because, 1) I love animals, and 2) I want my wife to have what SHE wants which appears to be animals.

That said, I would not have these animals if I was on my own and I HATE them being used against me.

Californyia

Is this really a thing? I obtained my commercial pilot license on March 2 and my husband informed me promptly that he is divorcing me as a result. Plain and simple. "You took the check ride, I'm done. See ya."

And we only just got married! Any hope for me or is this truly the lot of the professional pilot? I can't go home because Hubby doesn't want me around so I'm homeless living in FBOs and flying a 172 around the country.

I supported him when he was in full-time pilot training -- financially and otherwise, but he apparently didn't like me visiting him in Mesa, AZ because I flew the plane to get there. He eventually quit the program at CAE and came home to gradually return to engineering. Apparently, his rule about "Don't get further ahead of me in ratings or else" was for real. He tolerated me getting my instrument rating after considerable pleading, but once he knew about the commercial check ride, that was it. I hope to return home eventually and resume a life together, but he says absolutely no chance. I chose to go ahead with the commercial check ride, so the marriage is over, according to him. No turning back, he says. I took the ride; I suffer the consequences.

Is this what is meant by AIDS? The examples in other posts seem to be related to male pilots and their indiscretions. Has this ever happened to a female pilot whose husband cannot accept her succeeding beyond him in aviation goals? Any hope for my marriage?

highfarfast

What you're describing is not AIDS. I know you don't want to hear this but I think you'll be happier in the long run without him, regardless of whether you choose to fly or not.

flybub

Um, wow. I would not call that AIDS. I won't get into relationship advice or what you should do, but I'd say there are some serious red flags there.

Broncofan

AIDS is usually more of a partner not being able to handle being on their own, and not realizing how lonely it can be. Also maybe one of you having an affair or something. But if what you are telling us is the whole story, then this is something completely different and as others have said, it raises serious flags. There are many pilots out there with happy marriages, you just need to find the right partner.

trip

Yes this^^. You’re hubby has some serious issues.

at6d

In AZ you can go to the courthouse and pick up a divorce packet and file it yourself.

You are in a WTF situation or trolling.

You don’t have a marriage. Time to close that chapter and move on.

itsmytime

exactly. Seems like a troll post to me.

JohnBurke

Aviation induced divorce syndrome is a myth: it's an excuse that some use to explain away a failed marriage.

If a marriage is so weak that aviation is the excuse for it's dissolution, then one or both partners need to look closer in the mirror.

There's no question that aviation requires commitment, and with that commitment comes a certain amount of hardship in time away, moves, limited income, travel, training, and so on. The career is lived on a fine line: a single error can be career ending, as can a single medical disruption. Work history and reputation is lifetime-cumulative and what happens in youth remains until retirement: it follows.

Marriage is a personal commitment on both parties; either can drop the ball. Neither might be compatible. One may want out, the other may want to remain, as if most often the case. Whatever the situation, while aviation may be the excuse, it is neither reason not cause for divorce. One cannot say 'he/she cheated because aviation kept me away.' One cannot accuse aviation of being the mistress. It's a job, it comes with detriments and rewards, and it's something shouldered by the pilot, and his or her spouse, pure and simple. Divorce happens, but it does't happen in a vacuum, and it doesn't happen as a consequence of aviation. It happens when one or both parties stop trying. Making aviation the scapegoat for a failed marriage is simply an abdication of responsibility and a shifting of the blame.

SoFloFlyer

If you fix it now, it’ll come back after your multi rating, maybe CFI, or even your airline training. Do what you want, but it’sa major red flag. I wouldn’t call this AIDS. I’d call it Small Pee Pee Syndrome