I am one of the few exceptions that ignored everyone's advice. I got married as a 22 year old pfc in the Marine Corps. I really heard about that. Immediatley after getting married, I deployed overseas for six months. In the following 3 years I spent a little over 13 months with my wife. Then I decided to become a pilot. Talk about ignoring the odds! I am now gone anywhere from 3 to 8 days at a time with absolutely no schedule.

Despite all of this I have been happily married for almost 7 years now. We have 2 children and we argue, but it is wonderful. I think the most important thing is that you share the same religious and personal beliefs. After that everything else can be worked out. This sounds simple but the fact is that few people have moral or religious beliefs to begin with. Not that you don't, just make sure you find someone with whom you agree on th big issues.

I can count on three fingers the number of succesful marriages I have known in these past few years. I know of litteraly dozens more that failed. In six months in Okinawa, 5 of my newlywed Marines recieved dear John letters. Most of those also came with empty bank account statements.

So in short, people like me are the exception. You probably shouldn't get married.

 

Seriously dude, go kiss a girl.

 

21-WOW. Yeah... Kissing is awesome, especially if you really love the girl you're with. I agree with everyone who has told you to go kiss some girls. Do it, its fun. I think that marriage is something that is good for you because it teaches you to take care of somebody else's needs, and not be totally selfish. I just don't want to doom a girl to misery because she doesn't want to have me be gone. Some women can put up with it, but the girls who I have dated who said they were fine with it in the beginning turn on me when we start talking about marriage.

 

[quote]I was only saying that most of the people I know in that situation aren't commited enough to the relationship to stick around when something they don't like starts to happen like relocation or low income. Obviously your woman was a rare exception, or you are a real ladies man I just don't think that it is good to get started that way, you lucked out. It is hard on the people I know, kids and adults, who have people coming in and out of their lives with live-in situations. I'm not trying to be cynical. I'm just trying to avoid big trouble in an important area in my life. Dumping the girl that I referenced to when I was starting out in flying was tough, we were formally engaged and everything, I just don't want to go through a real divorce.

 

Someone once said to a female friend, "all those little wierd things he does that you find cute now will be very annoying in six months."

If she has problems BEFORE YOU START, the odds are she will hate you after you follow through with them.


On a personal note: when I was in the navy I got met a girl. I told her we would be moving every 3 years and I would be gone half of the time. She said she could handle it. Our first move after getting married was 3000 miles from her folks. We had just gotten the phone connected when her mother called askeing, "When are you coming home?" It was the beginning of the end.... an end that took another five years.

 

Maybe he's gay. Not judging. Just offering a reason.

By the way, where is Dr. Phil when we need him?

 

Another thing to consider is that being alone and on the road is really no big deal. You spend the night in a lonely hotel room or you spend the night alone in a more lonely studio apartment. Once you get married and there is someone you love at home with your cute tiny little children it can ruin your peaceful time away.

In addition a wife and family can make it more difficult financially as well. A single guy could fair well on 30K even in most big cities with a family in tow it gets spent fast.

By far the best plan for one dreaming of a life as an airline pilot is to leave all matrimony and relationships to the 9 to 5 stooges. Girlfriends, wives and children just muddy up the waters.

SkyHigh

 

OK I see. Yes I agree. For a lot of people it's easier to leave then deal with it. I would also agree with what you did - in the long run both of you are probably better off.

 

get a cat or dog.

it's calmed my wife down a little

 

Love has little place in marriage or any long term relationship...Respect and trust are the key.

-LAFF