AV8ER

The key is, find a sugar-mama, one who makes a LOT more then you will for the first who knows how many years of your career. Money solves all problems...well, maybe not really.

Skygirl

LAFF, you have a lot of class.

Soon2BFO, I would not be in any matrimonial rush. Your girlfriend has already expressed her doubts about the airline life, yet you say that NOT flying is not an option. If you caved in to her wishes, or she to yours, you'll both end up unhappy and resentful. You said that you'd rather be married sooner rather than later. I don't know what your personal or religious beliefs are, but perhaps you could try living together in a committed relationship for a few years to see if both of you have what it takes to go the distance. Believe me, divorce isn't exactly pleasant and it is expensive, particularly if you have assets. If your personal or religious beliefs go against living together, then I would not rush into marriage under the circumstances. I think that both of you should really talk and try to figure out what you both expect from this relationship and be totally honest about your feelings, as well as the reality of the paths that you choose. As an adult, your parents feelings about wanting you to be married should not come into play here.

You didn't say how old you are, but if you are young, do not rush into anything. Best of luck to you!

soon2bfo

I saw the video for the first time the other day and thought it was pretty funny.

soon2bfo

Thanks for all of your input. I had another girlfriend at the beginning of flight training that wasn't too big on the idea, so she got the shaft sts after a while. My current one is just not looking forward to a cold bed half of the time. I think when it comes down to it it is an issue of trust between us, although she wants a family man who'll be around to help with homework etc. We're talking about it. I just don't want to be stuck (like some of you have said) as an RJ Capt making 65K because the schedule is good, and an upgrade to the majors would mean a tough schedule for a while.

-I also think that living together is like having an ejection seat. When it all goes to crap you just pull the handle and let it crash with everyone else involved going down too. Thats no way to start a real marriage.

favila008

Great Post, I agree with you and think that no one should marry before they are 30. Our 20's are our best years, let's no ruin them by being stuck with someone. Especially not during the starting years at a regional.

fosters

I'm a little confused...not sure I completely understand that statement !

I have dated my now turned fiance for 4 1/2 years, we've lived together for 4. When we first started this I told her upfront I want to work for an airline, I will be gone a lot, I won't make much money, etc. I even went so far as saying the jobs I go after, at least at first, come ahead of our relationship! She moved across the country 3 times FOR ME. She put her own career on hold while and worked menial, lousy secretarial jobs while in BFE so I could build flight time.

Yes - you could find a "sugar momma" to take care of you and help you survive on the low pay. But in my experiences those "sugar mommas" want you home with them, not out playing pilot having fun without them. I know of a few couples that have been in this situation and generally what happens is the decisions are made to maximize the women's income and the guy-pilot ends up either instructing for years or quitting aviation altogether.

As far as getting married/living with a girl if you are a pilot goes - you will probably end up spending more $$ in rent because they need to be in a safer neighborhood now that you aren't around. We got a dog for her (well, that's what I told her anyway !!) to keep her company while I am gone and put her more at ease at night. She drives the newer, more reliable and safer car. Make an effort to call several times a day when you are gone. Always call at night to say good night. When you are home, do things with them, don't go hanging out at the bar with your friends all the time. If you find the right kind of women you will be fine. Tell them upfront, IMO if there is ANY hesitation with supporting YOUR goals then they are out. Move on. Being supportive is 50% of the reason for having a partner IMO. You are there for her and she is there for you.

EDITed to add: I've read that financial stressors are the biggest hump in relationships. One of the best decisions you can make in finding a "mate" IMO is finding someone that has the same spending habits as you. If she is spending all your money and running of credit card debt because she wants new shoes you won't ever climb out of your "keeping up with the Jones" hole. Ok that's it for relationship advice from me!!

JerrySpringer

Be honest with whoever you start seeing. Let them know you won't be there for weekend cookouts, birthdays and holidays, but you'll do everything you can. Then man (or woman, as the case may be) up, and follow through. I didn't meet my wife until I was fully engulfed, she knew the gig from day one. Make your days off special with that person and your family. If you know you miss a holiday, plan for it since no one likes surprises.

I've worked on anniversaries, holidays, weekends, and what-not. You, and those around you take the easy and suggested route, and accept it; or take the hard way. If your mate doesn't deal with the fact you're gone, well that is a BIG strike one.

It's tough, but workable.

Stay off the forums at home, that'll help!!!

MikeB525

Ok, I'll guess I'll weigh in.

I'm 21 years old and I haven't had any sort of girlfriend in over 4 years. I've also never even french kissed a girl.

I think way too many people in general get married. At very least you need to wait til you become well adjusted in life and have a reasonable career set up. (this goes for ANY career field, not just airline flying). Personally, I don't think I'll ever be capable of having a girlfriend. I'm more of the loner type, I suppose; one of those people married to their work and their hobbies, etc.

flynavyj

mike....kiss a girl.

favila008

mike...like flynavyj said...kiss a girl. I'm not all over getting married quickly, I want to have fun, but I also don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, and you shouldn't either.

We could fly 747's and have loving wives, it's okay.