There's an age limit for this thing? The temp agency didn't say anything about that!

A Navajo pilot I know once had a passenger ask "Is this a single or a twin engine?"

His reply---"Buddy, I don't know, I fly'em, not work on 'em"

I got out to the plane a little later than I should have and was finishing up the preflight when the passengers were boarding. So I go to jump in line to get in the plane and this guy old guy asks "Does that engine work?" So I politely answer him. Then he asks "This thing has 2 engines right?" I couldn't help but to laugh.

I remember a very worried lady who approached me as my crew approached the boarding area from our layover. She asked if I was the captain, which I affirmed that I was. She asked if I was anticipating any turbulence on our flight today? I knew before I answered that it would indeed be bumpy today as there was alot of weather along our route of flight. I told her that it would likely be a bit bumpy today but reassured her that it was safe and I promised to deliver her safely to her destination as I smiled at her. She reached into her purse and took several valium not liking my answer. I asked her if she had any extra as I too was a nervous flyer. She was reaching into her purse to comply with my request when she stopped and smiled. You can't take these can you? I smiled and said no, but it helped relieve some of her nervousness. I think we as crew members have opportunities on a regular basis to make positive impressions on our passengers regardless of what we fly. Conversely, a bad impression of any professional pilot is a mark on every one of us. It benefits us all when as individuals we are courteous to our passengers and convey professionalism in our craft.

Well said, calcapt. I think most of the people here would (should) understand. My passengers put a roof over my head, and provide for my food. Their safety and satisfaction is paramount.

I think most people here are just telling stories to "vent" a little among their peers. Many professionals who deal with the public do this. However, they mean no real disrespect toward their customer.

I completely understand the venting part and have enjoyed the stories. I too have many stories that I have just rolled my eyes over. My post was not directed at anyone who posted or will post. Just a generalization that we should all be on our best behavior, at least most of the time.

These are a few of the best ones that I got while flying the Beech 1900.

At the bottom of the stairs while boarding.
Pass: "Did you feed the mice?"
Me: "No ma' am thats what we need you for...we need you to pedal."

At the bottom of the stairs after a maintenance delay
Pass: "What was wrong?"
Me: "Oh not much we needed to replace a wing."
Pass: "which one?
Me: "If you cant tell Im not gonna tell ya."
(yes he knew I was kidding)

Walking through checking seatbelts before departure
Pass: "Is this plane safe?"
Me: "Well...you are sitting behind the wing so you should be OK."
(no, she didn't know I was kidding)

At the bottom of the stairs durring boarding
Pass: " Are you sober?" (with a very serious look)
Me: (Im not gonna give a wiseass answer to this one)"Be very careful what you say. Are you accusing me of being drunk? Because if you are, I have to have this flight cancelled and have a BAC test done."
Pass#2: "Aw ****!"
Pass Husband: "Oh for christ sake Lois!!"
Pass: "Uh, Uh...no"
Me: (To the other people standing in line) "I just want to make sure that no one has any question as to my sobriety."
Pass: (all together) "No."
At the bottom of the stairs while deboarding the lady apologized about five times. I told her just to be careful of the comments she makes in the future. I think that there is one less person out there who will make dumb comments.

I've never had anything too kooky yet, but on a high school band trip we flew to DC, and my friend sitting next me as we were taxiing, says wow this pilot isn't very good. He wasn't checking his mirrors as we were pulling along side another plane. I had to insist he didn't have mirrors.

But when i pushed wheelchair at DFW one summer, I loved dealing with the pax. Mostly old ladies that tipped me $20. Others complained to me about the sheer size of DFW. But the classic was pax would complain to me about how the bag handlers were throwing bags and they wanted to complain to "my" airline. Sir, I don't work for the airline, we're a private company. Oh and when you check your bags, your pretty much telling them to throw your bags around.

Ok first of all OHSTFU....that one about one of the PAX asking you if you were drunk....thats great what you did!!! Cause we all know todays pax don't give a rats ass about anything except for getting from A to B as fast as possible. But anyways I got a new one tonight from this girl I just met a couple hours ago...soccer player, smart girl...I told her I was a pilot, and she said "wow really?? My gosh airplanes are so scary now a days with terrorists and all, I hope you don't get shot by Osoma" I thanked her...and departed shortly after. That's ok she wasn't that hot anyways.

A flight attendant asked one of my fellow new hires during the first week of class...

"So, you guys were already pilots before coming here?"