Your “xzy” based crew...
#61
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 895
Likes: 0
Since our company deadheads us on full fare tickets, I fly all the major airlines quite a bit. And I have a lot of say in what airline my ticket are bought on. By far Delta pilots make the most PA announcements of the major airlines, but you do hear them on the others occasionally. And the passengers don't like it. I know this because I look around and most of the people I can see seem irritated to have their movie/game/work interrupted by someone with diarrhea of the mouth and an overinflated sense of self importance. Rolling their eyes, throwing up their hands, openly complaining. And maybe pilots don't realize that the FAs are already on the PA nearly constantly these days spewing info about drink options/overpriced food/credit cards/etc.
So from a passenger standpoint:
* NOBODY cares where you're based. Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares how many years you were in the military and which jet you flew. Shut up and fly the plane.
* DO NOT break in every 15 minutes on a transcon to tell us what natural landmark or podunk town you grew up in we're flying over! Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares about detailed reports on the weather on landing. We all have smart phones these days. If you can't resist, just say sunny/partly cloudy/cloudy/rain/snow and the temperature. The gate of arrival is nice to hear.
* Stop using jargon! Don't say "broken clouds". The folks have no idea what that means and you sound like an idiot.
* The same applies to maintenance delays. KISS. They aren't mechanics and all they hear is "this plane is junk and we are going to die".
* NOBODY cares what kind of engines your 30 year old 757 has or how much thrust they produce. They just want you to shut up, fly fast, and land early.
* Stop yelling!
* Jesus cries every time someone says "sit back and relax" or other asinine aviation cliches.
* We don't need a detailed announcement and description of the chop every time you turn the seatbelt sign on and off! By the way, the FAs still have to make an announcement about the seat belt sign even if you do, so we get our movie interrupted twice. Just stop.
Bonus points:
* People who ostentatiously overuse the word "do". (Mostly FAs)
Now queue all the delta nerds to attack me like angry fire ants in 3,2,1 because I had the audacity to criticize them again. Well guys, stop being this way and we won't make fun of you constantly. Just shut up and fly the plane.
So from a passenger standpoint:
* NOBODY cares where you're based. Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares how many years you were in the military and which jet you flew. Shut up and fly the plane.
* DO NOT break in every 15 minutes on a transcon to tell us what natural landmark or podunk town you grew up in we're flying over! Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares about detailed reports on the weather on landing. We all have smart phones these days. If you can't resist, just say sunny/partly cloudy/cloudy/rain/snow and the temperature. The gate of arrival is nice to hear.
* Stop using jargon! Don't say "broken clouds". The folks have no idea what that means and you sound like an idiot.
* The same applies to maintenance delays. KISS. They aren't mechanics and all they hear is "this plane is junk and we are going to die".
* NOBODY cares what kind of engines your 30 year old 757 has or how much thrust they produce. They just want you to shut up, fly fast, and land early.
* Stop yelling!
* Jesus cries every time someone says "sit back and relax" or other asinine aviation cliches.
* We don't need a detailed announcement and description of the chop every time you turn the seatbelt sign on and off! By the way, the FAs still have to make an announcement about the seat belt sign even if you do, so we get our movie interrupted twice. Just stop.
Bonus points:
* People who ostentatiously overuse the word "do". (Mostly FAs)
Now queue all the delta nerds to attack me like angry fire ants in 3,2,1 because I had the audacity to criticize them again. Well guys, stop being this way and we won't make fun of you constantly. Just shut up and fly the plane.
If you weren’t so personally biased against Delta, maybe this would carry more weight.
The booth line is the vast majority of our PAs are directed by the FOM. There is very little leeway in what we can say.
#63
Since our company deadheads us on full fare tickets, I fly all the major airlines quite a bit. And I have a lot of say in what airline my ticket are bought on. By far Delta pilots make the most PA announcements of the major airlines, but you do hear them on the others occasionally. And the passengers don't like it. I know this because I look around and most of the people I can see seem irritated to have their movie/game/work interrupted by someone with diarrhea of the mouth and an overinflated sense of self importance. Rolling their eyes, throwing up their hands, openly complaining. And maybe pilots don't realize that the FAs are already on the PA nearly constantly these days spewing info about drink options/overpriced food/credit cards/etc.
So from a passenger standpoint:
* NOBODY cares where you're based. Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares how many years you were in the military and which jet you flew. Shut up and fly the plane.
* DO NOT break in every 15 minutes on a transcon to tell us what natural landmark or podunk town you grew up in we're flying over! Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares about detailed reports on the weather on landing. We all have smart phones these days. If you can't resist, just say sunny/partly cloudy/cloudy/rain/snow and the temperature. The gate of arrival is nice to hear.
* Stop using jargon! Don't say "broken clouds". The folks have no idea what that means and you sound like an idiot.
* The same applies to maintenance delays. KISS. They aren't mechanics and all they hear is "this plane is junk and we are going to die".
* NOBODY cares what kind of engines your 30 year old 757 has or how much thrust they produce. They just want you to shut up, fly fast, and land early.
* Stop yelling!
* Jesus cries every time someone says "sit back and relax" or other asinine aviation cliches.
* We don't need a detailed announcement and description of the chop every time you turn the seatbelt sign on and off! By the way, the FAs still have to make an announcement about the seat belt sign even if you do, so we get our movie interrupted twice. Just stop.
Bonus points:
* People who ostentatiously overuse the word "do". (Mostly FAs)
Now queue all the delta nerds to attack me like angry fire ants in 3,2,1 because I had the audacity to criticize them again. Well guys, stop being this way and we won't make fun of you constantly. Just shut up and fly the plane.
So from a passenger standpoint:
* NOBODY cares where you're based. Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares how many years you were in the military and which jet you flew. Shut up and fly the plane.
* DO NOT break in every 15 minutes on a transcon to tell us what natural landmark or podunk town you grew up in we're flying over! Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares about detailed reports on the weather on landing. We all have smart phones these days. If you can't resist, just say sunny/partly cloudy/cloudy/rain/snow and the temperature. The gate of arrival is nice to hear.
* Stop using jargon! Don't say "broken clouds". The folks have no idea what that means and you sound like an idiot.
* The same applies to maintenance delays. KISS. They aren't mechanics and all they hear is "this plane is junk and we are going to die".
* NOBODY cares what kind of engines your 30 year old 757 has or how much thrust they produce. They just want you to shut up, fly fast, and land early.
* Stop yelling!
* Jesus cries every time someone says "sit back and relax" or other asinine aviation cliches.
* We don't need a detailed announcement and description of the chop every time you turn the seatbelt sign on and off! By the way, the FAs still have to make an announcement about the seat belt sign even if you do, so we get our movie interrupted twice. Just stop.
Bonus points:
* People who ostentatiously overuse the word "do". (Mostly FAs)
Now queue all the delta nerds to attack me like angry fire ants in 3,2,1 because I had the audacity to criticize them again. Well guys, stop being this way and we won't make fun of you constantly. Just shut up and fly the plane.
First of all, TL;DR. Secondly, you ripped off Goggles’s “Something happens when someone says ‘Sit back, relax...’” bit. It was funny when he said it. Only when he said it.
D-
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#65
Banned
Joined: May 2017
Posts: 733
Likes: 0
Funny. Except i've never applied to your beloved Air Line and jumpseat often without issue. Don't be suck a dik it just fulfills everyone's stereotype of your kind.
#66
Gets Weekends Off
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 2,558
Likes: 0
#67
Line Holder
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 921
Likes: 14
#68
The perfect anouncement:
“This is your Captain, Captain Smith assisted by First Officer Jones. We will be underway momentarily. The flight is schedule to arrive on time. We will see you after we land. Good Day.”
(Unless the flight is going to be late or there is some other reason.)
“This is your Captain, Captain Smith assisted by First Officer Jones. We will be underway momentarily. The flight is schedule to arrive on time. We will see you after we land. Good Day.”
(Unless the flight is going to be late or there is some other reason.)
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