Too long.
“This is Captain Smith. Thanks for choosing Delta, Good Day.”

-Passengers barely care who the Captain is, you definitely don't need the FOs name.
-Of course we will be underway momentarily, it's almost departure time. Add this part only by exception if there are delays.
-Same with on time arrival. This part only needs added by exception.
-We may or may not see them after landing depending on connection time. No need to set the expectation for actually having the option to bask in the presence of Captain Smith.
-Any Type A passengers who really care about the details already know more about the departure and arrival times than most of the crew, because they are on the Delta App, Google or Siri.

 

Some of you want us to be anonymous bus drivers. No thanks. I still think there’s some romance left in this profession — and the FOM backs me up.

 

We get romanced per the FOM?!?!







Wait. By who?

 

He always manages to show up here, like he still cares or something...

 

I didn’t get that until my kids had me watch super troopers. Absolutely hilarious.

 

Guess that's one way to get the senior int'l mamas to listen. 😄

 

Anonymous bus drivers is exactly what people want. Especially our high value customers. Nobody cares about what branch of the military you served in. They have to listen to an announcement on how to put a seatbelt on, and then they are offered a once in a lifetime credit card opportunity once they chow down on their everything covered in cheddar cheese powder snack mix and 5 ounces of coke.

The Bible also says:

Ephesians 5:22-24 New International Version (NIV)

“22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

That doesn’t mean that we automatically go to Red Lobster because that’s what I want when she wants Olive Garden. I’ve tried using this passage on my holy roller wife before as my trump card. It doesn’t work.

Use of discretion and common sense would be prudent in dealing with a set of words that “backs you up.”

Morale of the story, people wanna know why you’re late if you’re going to be late. Or anything unusual. Other than that tell them how long and say thanks. The romance is dead. If you’re a FOM guy you also don’t start the APU until D-13ish. So the guy in row 20 that you’re romancing on your 97 degree hot, humid 717 wants to punch you in the face while he listens to your voice.

The gospel according to passportplump.

 

I tell 'em I'm ATL based for 2 reasons.

1) So they know I'm not a DTW/MSP based a-hole!

2) So the f/a's know I'm not an ATL a-hole!

 

35. We are also out of coffee.

36. BRACE BRACE BRACE YOURSELF... for another on time arrival.

 

Strongly disagree that anonymous bus drivers are what the passengers want. Net Promoter scores continue to prove passengers are impressed by Pilots that stand at the door after the flight. Furthermore, the score goes even higher when they come out of the cockpit before flight and greet the passengers.