Had a Fed in my jumpseat last week from IAD that was being sent home because of the impending shutdown. He said that if it happens (it has), that the chances if having a fed show up on your flight will be virtually zero. Didn't ask about scheduled Fed rides though.

 

For real? I'm just kind of 'arm-chair' thinking right now. But, :25 min. prior to push??? I really wonder how it would be received if, as a captain, you simply told the guy who wants to inspect your aircraft :25 prior to push if you politely, but resolutely, refused to let the guy aboard your A/C? You know, there are usually a row of 757 & 767s over at the hanger and north ramp, suggest that he go inspect any and or all of those aircraft. But while you're boarding? Gimme' a break! Just my off the cuff thinking, but really!

 

So he was checking this stuff while boarding was going on? I was always under the impression they are not supposed to disrupt the flow of things, or if they want to do inspections like that they need to be there early enough. And yes I know they think they can do whatever they want in a way but really? Thats a bunch of crap.

 

Riddle me this --
Why do all the rest of the employees get to be comfortable this month but not us?

Why can't we wear pink t-shirts and jeans like the flt attendants and gate agents?



Or pink dresses?





OOH. Never mind. Not a good look on Timbo.

 

Maintenance was really PO'ed about it, but, he was an FAA maintenance inspector. I wasn't about to press to test, even though I thought he was on a one man crusade. There are two bolts, one on each seat track. If you are an ER guy/gal, you will be surprised how many are missing.

 

Back when I was a stressed out commuter captain, I had a fed inspect the aircraft... he was walking around the outside as I'm doing the preflight in the cockpit, and suddenly the stall warning, sick pusher all goes off. On this particular airplane, the stall warning device on the leading edges looked much like the G. A. version you'd see on a Cessna. But it was worlds apart, heated, and very sensitive... "never touch" was all we ever heard in ground school. So after getting my knees whacked by the yoke, and looking out the cockpit to see this joker messing with MY AIRPLANE, I stormed down the boarding stairs and read him the riot act. I'm sure had I not been 25, poor, stressed, tired and probably hungry, I would have been more diplomatic about the whole thing. He sat quietly in the back of the plane for the flight though... never heard or saw him again!

 

Dude...... Forum posting foul on that last pic!

 

As one of our old Captains said: "If he wants to arrive so early, that's up to him."

 

My airline just finished up a quarter-long audit, and it was a colossal PITA. According to the inspectors, they can't disrupt the flow to do inspections, but if they see something they don't like, they can certainly get involved. We had one guy tell us to dump the flaps and slats so he could get a better look at something he thought didn't 'fit together properly'. It's an -80. Nothing on the wing fits together properly!

 

One time at Coex in IAH on the E120 the Fed's went right on down the line and downed the 5 airplanes sitting there. But it was an E120. All Feds had to do was ground those airplane from a distance and then go look for something wrong. It'd only take 3 minutes or so to find something.

It's why one day sitting in a long line for takeoff the Captain and I figured out if airliners were women, what kind of women would they be? We figured the E120 was a 17 year old jailbait short cheerleader type. She looked great, she's fast , you feel kind of hot under the collar with her, she has a ton of issues and would wear you out with her attitude... but if anyone ever caught you with her, you're going to jail.

Her 18 year old sister, the E-145, she was long, proportional, happy to help you, smart, fun, easy, etc.

We were bored. We chalked up the 737 to a old maid. The 757 is what you'd expect, the 753 is taller, the 777 was a Gloria from Modern Family type.

Remember when TSA used TAT probes to break into aircraft?

TSA Snafu Grounds Nine Planes at O'Hare Field - ABC News

My favorite line:


And then TSA praises the TSA agent as a hero...

http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/re...anes-hero.html